Comments on: Got Marriage? How Long Is Too Long To Date? http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date Promoting Positive Images of Marriage and Parenting Since 2007 Sun, 12 Feb 2012 21:09:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Mrs.2B http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/comment-page-2#comment-50553 Mrs.2B Sun, 29 Jan 2012 16:07:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/#comment-50553 I have a friend who started dating her boyfriend when we started college in 2004 (she was 18; he was 22). She graduated 4 years later and moved back home,did a grad school program for a year and moved in with him. They still aren't engaged or married. I am concerned because I'm trying to figure out what they are waiting on. It's been 7 years. I understand that she was doing school but what that's just an excuse to me. I am currently engaged and in grad school. It's not easy but it can be done. I think we set ourselves (women) up for failure when we do that. Research says that in super long relationships with no or forced engagements, either the couple doesn't marry or the marriage ends in divorce. We have to do better, demand and expect more. Plain and simple. I have a friend who started dating her boyfriend when we started college in 2004 (she was 18; he was 22). She graduated 4 years later and moved back home,did a grad school program for a year and moved in with him. They still aren’t engaged or married. I am concerned because I’m trying to figure out what they are waiting on. It’s been 7 years. I understand that she was doing school but what that’s just an excuse to me. I am currently engaged and in grad school. It’s not easy but it can be done.

I think we set ourselves (women) up for failure when we do that. Research says that in super long relationships with no or forced engagements, either the couple doesn’t marry or the marriage ends in divorce. We have to do better, demand and expect more. Plain and simple.

]]> By: Teepayton1 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/comment-page-2#comment-50199 Teepayton1 Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:22:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/#comment-50199 I would say a year is long enough to make your mind up to know if you want to spend a life time with that person.If she does'nt get a comment keep it moving.Why should he comment to you when he can get everything free?And then leave you for someone fresh and new. I would say a year is long enough to make your mind up to know if you want to spend a life time with that person.If she does’nt get a comment keep it moving.Why should he comment to you when he can get everything free?And then leave you for someone fresh and new.

]]> By: Thea_b http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/comment-page-1#comment-50029 Thea_b Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:36:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/#comment-50029 I agree!!! People should get married when they are ready. Why are there rules on relationships? Things should just flow. There's nothing wrong with discussing married, but I would never tell someone that you have 2 years to decide if you want to marry me. Maintain a relationship is hard enough without the added pressures. I agree!!! People should get married when they are ready. Why are there rules on relationships? Things should just flow. There’s nothing wrong with discussing married, but I would never tell someone that you have 2 years to decide if you want to marry me. Maintain a relationship is hard enough without the added pressures.

]]> By: Anonymous http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/comment-page-2#comment-49904 Anonymous Sat, 14 Jan 2012 04:25:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/#comment-49904 Waiting a Year is Too Long..You're Foolish..Or You're being Played..You women need to wake up and Smell the Coffee.. Waiting a Year is Too Long..You’re Foolish..Or You’re being Played..You women need to wake up and Smell the Coffee..

]]> By: Shygyrl12 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/comment-page-1#comment-49244 Shygyrl12 Sat, 24 Dec 2011 02:47:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/#comment-49244 Yes.. I was engaged to a guy for 7 years and he ended up cheating on me and the relationship ended two months before we were to be married. Never waste your time on a man who will not even discuss marriage after two years... Yes.. I was engaged to a guy for 7 years and he ended up cheating on me and the relationship ended two months before we were to be married. Never waste your time on a man who will not even discuss marriage after two years…

]]> By: guest. http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/comment-page-1#comment-48698 guest. Sat, 10 Dec 2011 03:33:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/#comment-48698 I agree. my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and I have had that talk a month into our relationship that i wanted to go to college and have kids. I also told him I was looking for a serious relationship. I still tell him that everyonce in awhile and let him know he is the one for me. he use to do the same for me. but for 2 years its been not like that. I agree. my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and I have had that talk a month into our relationship that i wanted to go to college and have kids. I also told him I was looking for a serious relationship. I still tell him that everyonce in awhile and let him know he is the one for me. he use to do the same for me. but for 2 years its been not like that.

]]> By: guest. http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/comment-page-2#comment-48697 guest. Sat, 10 Dec 2011 03:27:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/#comment-48697 My boy friend and I known each other for at least 10 years. thats since high school. we have been dating for 3 1/2 years. With in the first year of us dating we had a little girl together. before that 4 months into the relationship he randomly bought me a ring as a promise ring. than a couple weeks later him and i talked about sometime in the future we would love to get married. a couple more months go by and im 6 months pregnant. he bout me a wedding band as an i love you gift is what he calls it. he stopped buying me rings and started to buy necklaces and clothes such as hoodies and socks for me for christmas. He invited me to go on a summer vacation to florida with his family. I have a son from a previous marriage he also invited him as well. Everytime I watch the wedding shows or talk about it he just makes a barfing noise or say serious your watching that, or he would say anything and walk by me. Today. We have been living with each for as long as we have been dating. I always wonder if he is going to propose. but he tells me. I want to work on my credit and get a better career so we can be able to pay for the wedding, we already bought a house together. lately for the past year. we have not talked about taking the engagement step. Should I leave or wait a little longer. I know he loves me just as much as I love him. But I feel like we will never get married. For my first marraige I was 19 when I got married. It lasted a year and half. I am now 25 and he soon will be 25 in Feb. What should I do? Is he ever going to propose? I dont know what to do anymore. We have had some really bad fights, with words and visical too. And we have overcame those. It made us stronge. So will hever propose or not? What do you "The Exsperts" think? My boy friend and I known each other for at least 10 years. thats since high school. we have been dating for 3 1/2 years. With in the first year of us dating we had a little girl together. before that 4 months into the relationship he randomly bought me a ring as a promise ring. than a couple weeks later him and i talked about sometime in the future we would love to get married. a couple more months go by and im 6 months pregnant. he bout me a wedding band as an i love you gift is what he calls it. he stopped buying me rings and started to buy necklaces and clothes such as hoodies and socks for me for christmas. He invited me to go on a summer vacation to florida with his family. I have a son from a previous marriage he also invited him as well. Everytime I watch the wedding shows or talk about it he just makes a barfing noise or say serious your watching that, or he would say anything and walk by me. Today. We have been living with each for as long as we have been dating. I always wonder if he is going to propose. but he tells me. I want to work on my credit and get a better career so we can be able to pay for the wedding, we already bought a house together. lately for the past year. we have not talked about taking the engagement step. Should I leave or wait a little longer. I know he loves me just as much as I love him. But I feel like we will never get married. For my first marraige I was 19 when I got married. It lasted a year and half. I am now 25 and he soon will be 25 in Feb. What should I do? Is he ever going to propose? I dont know what to do anymore. We have had some really bad fights, with words and visical too. And we have overcame those. It made us stronge. So will hever propose or not? What do you “The Exsperts” think?

]]> By: My2Cents http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/comment-page-2#comment-48352 My2Cents Sun, 04 Dec 2011 20:02:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/#comment-48352 My fiance' and I dated for over 5 years before he proposed.  My sister and her husband dated for 13 years before they were married.  I don't think this is something you can put a time limit on.  It depends on the couple and the relationship.  I'd rather date for 5 years and be married til death do us part, than date for 2 years and be divorced in 1. My fiance’ and I dated for over 5 years before he proposed.  My sister and her husband dated for 13 years before they were married.  I don’t think this is something you can put a time limit on.  It depends on the couple and the relationship.  I’d rather date for 5 years and be married til death do us part, than date for 2 years and be divorced in 1.

]]> By: Anita Swanagan http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/comment-page-2#comment-48324 Anita Swanagan Sat, 03 Dec 2011 20:29:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/#comment-48324 A year is long enough. This gives you time to learn more about each other and know if you are compatible.  After 18 months you are just spinning your wheels.  If you are not walking down the aisle after a year then you need to be walking out the door. A year is long enough. This gives you time to learn more about each other and know if you are compatible.  After 18 months you are just spinning your wheels.  If you are not walking down the aisle after a year then you need to be walking out the door.

]]> By: Justchecking http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/comment-page-2#comment-48286 Justchecking Fri, 02 Dec 2011 06:13:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2007/12/27/got-marriage-how-long-is-too-long-to-date/#comment-48286 Being in a relationship for 2 years, I can honesty say that I'm getting a little curious to when and if a marriage proposal will happen.  The two of us have agreed to remain abstinent before getting married so we both are trying to do the right thing alone that line.  What concerns me is feeling that because he is still trying to get himself together will further continue to delay him from making an actual commitment to me.  I'm also near my mid thirties and would like to have 1 or 2 more kids if possible (I have one already from a previous marriage).  I truly love and respect this man but I don't think sticking around while he tries to figure out WHAT his next move is the best decision for me in the long run.   Being in a relationship for 2 years, I can honesty say that I’m getting a little curious to when and if a marriage proposal will happen.  The two of us have agreed to remain abstinent before getting married so we both are trying to do the right thing alone that line.  What concerns me is feeling that because he is still trying to get himself together will further continue to delay him from making an actual commitment to me.  I’m also near my mid thirties and would like to have 1 or 2 more kids if possible (I have one already from a previous marriage).  I truly love and respect this man but I don’t think sticking around while he tries to figure out WHAT his next move is the best decision for me in the long run.  

]]>