Engaged? Beware of advice!

A young woman walks into a room. Her mother announces that she’s getting married, and that is immediately met with a chorus of jeers and comments such as, “Don’t do it”, “Don’t make that mistake” and so on and so forth…

My question is, “Is Marriage Not Cool”? This type of thing seems like the norm. In the past year I had a coworker who got married and she confirmed what I already knew, that everyone was basically telling her it wasn’t going to work and how hard it was going to be. Fast forward one year and she’s as happy as can be but that happiness is met with statements such as, “You haven’t been married long enough, just wait”, PEOPLE ARE YOU SERIOUS? Why don’t they say, “It may not have happened yet but I’m plotting and hoping it fails so you can see I was right, or It didn’t work for me so I damn sure hope it doesn’t work for you.

Over the summer someone in my wife’s family got married, all night I heard the couple being given advice such as: “The first two years are gonna be tough but you can get through it”, “Marriage ain’t gonna be easy” and it goes on and on.

My advice for them and for all engaged couples is don’t listen to the advice. I mean listen to the good stuff and dump the rest. Don’t let anyone tell you how hard it’s gonna be to be married or how it will only seems good in the beginning. Don’t let your single friends tell you how you shouldn’t get married and how you won’t like it when they’ve probably never been married themselves. When you tell them you enjoy your marriage don’t listen when they say it’s just because it’s new. Tell them… whatever….

Her View

I would really be leery of anyone that would give me negative advice or negative comments as I am announcing some joyous news or as I am about to partake in a joyous occasion ( like my wedding…etc.)  Nine times out of ten, the person is simply trying to steal your joy.  

You are not going to be able to avoid getting negative comments. It’s just how people are!!  So if you are confident in what you are doing, the comments should not bother you.

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About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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