Comments on: Can a Woman Raise a Son to be a Man?

By: Donielle Michele

Donielle Michele — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 03:21:22 +0000

Ummmmm how do figure women can’t raise “good” men? Where are the statistics to prove this? Do you care to look at your current President Barack Obama? He was raised by his mother for most of his life. Is he not a “good” man. Being able to raise a child period has nothing to do with gender. It’s about the person and their values. Think about this, if you have a woman that sleeps around and doesn’t have any self esteem or value her self worth, do you think she can raise a little girl to be a “good” woman? I’m sure if you did research on this topic, you would find MANY leading, honest, loving, “good” men that were raised by, dare I say it, W-O-M-E-N!

By: Micky

Micky — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 21:01:19 +0000

Why are women always coming under fire on this topic? Can a single man raise his daughter to be a woman????
Of course a woman who has her priorities straight can raise a son to grow up to be a good man. The problem really isn’t the gender of the parent but what kind of values the parent possesses and what they instill in their child.
For those who think a woman alone can’t raise her son, open your eyes and look at all these screwed up men running around who were raised with their screwed up (read alcoholic, drug addicted, philandering…etc.) fathers in the picture and ask yourself if THEY grew up to be good men.
Furthermore, why are people assuming a single woman is somehow trapped in the house and incapable of exposing her son to the world?
I truly believe that those who believe a woman can’t raise her son alone were raised by bad mothers. Period. By your reasoning a mother should be able to raise a daughter, but my mother was a complete screw up. I knew people who were raised by gay parents who faired better than I.
You better open your eyes people. Love is not a gender.

By: Black Man

Black Man — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 17:59:40 +0000

A single mother cannot raise a boy to be a man. One major question that has to be asked is WHY she is single? If the man was a thug and is now in prison, then the woman was never ready for motherhood to begin with. If she raises her son to be like his father, then the cycle repeats. A single mother who thinks that church and teaching her son to do chores and obey her every command is raising a wimp who will later resent strong women or will be abusive. No, the only answer (short of finding a good man to marry) is getting her son to associate with other men (respectful ones) or to urge military service or other male oriented structured groups. Its not as important that these men be BLACK men as it is for them to be MEN.

By: DaMan4Real

DaMan4Real — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:07:35 +0000

Boys need to have fathers and other men in their lives. Some single moms do the best they can do, but the simple fact is a woman was not designed to be both mom and dad. As men we have dropped the ball, but when we take responsiblity we can pick the ball back up. I am a father of a black boy as much as I can I try to be in his life. I have my issues that I am dealing with and sometimes is so hard just to make it day by day. I read the book “the Bond” by those three black doctors, and that the type of commitment to excellence we as black men have to committed to. We have to learn how to be friends with one another and develop healthy relationships not only with ourselves but with our women and children. It
starts by looking within and seeing how did you get to this point in your
life. I made lots of mistakes in my life it would have been less had I had an older Black man to guide me, to mentor me. But now as I struggle to get back on my feet I am trying to learn what I should have been taught as a black boy. My mom did her best unfortunately her choices with men were destructive to our household, Successful black men reach back and help young black boys by mentoring and taking an active role in their lives. The difference would change our nation.

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By: blackmothertobe

blackmothertobe — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:26:02 +0000

Here is my opinion. A real man is one who can be compassionate when necessary, one who can show fear one minute and be brave the next. A real man is one who is willing to do what it takes to get what he wants, he is driven and understands himself in ways other people can’t. A real man is interested with his family and those close to him and knows when he is wrong. A real man knows how to apologize and knows when its time to let something go. A real man can fix the house, but knows when to ask for direction. There are plenty of men who were raised by single mothers who are all that and more. The trick is knowing when enough is enough. Try to put yourself in your son’s shoes. You are say 15, do you really want your mother hanging around you and your friends? probably not, so be understanding, but know how to kick his ass into line and with some luck your son will turn out to be all you could ever hope for.

By: Autism Game

Autism Game — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 22:26:51 +0000

I am a dad of two boys with autism, I look to your blog for current info! Thank You!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 05:19:36 +0000

I have a son love him more an the days are long. But sometime I need some help with him.because. I feel he needs a man and not his mother.

By: In Response To: Can a Woman Raise a Son to be a Man? | Black And Married With Kids

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:00:35 +0000

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By: Heather in Ohio

Heather in Ohio — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 01:53:22 +0000

I am so torn on this subject! I have 2 young boys 2 and 6 and I feel like I won’t be able to teach them. I don’t like to be negative but I really struggle with trying to figure out how I can possibly teach them to be men. Do I even know MYSELF what that means? If I did would have really made the same choices in men that resulted in their being? Who should I look to? My own father, who although he was present in my household growing up was never really a part of my life? My brother who is too busy with his own life to help in mine? My aging uncle? How do I find positive role models in the community?