The Dad is Chillin this Week!!!

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by Ronnie Tyler | on March 27th, 2008 | 6 comments

The kids and I are away this week. It is spring break and since I am a new mother with 4 kids that is on maternity leave…I did not want to be home alone with 4 kids this week. In fact, I was down right scared of being home alone with those 4 kids alllll day long this week. I give props to all of those stay at home moms ..because it is definitely a full time job!!!

So the kids and I are at my mom’s house this week…hanging out with my mom and sister and nieces and nephews. The Dad could not come..he used up most of his leave after I had the baby. We all miss The Dad!!

Anyway, we were talking last night and I asked the dad did he do a few of the outstanding chores and projects that we had around the house..did he water my plants… did he put soil in the pots outside of the house before my bushes died… Do you know what he said… he said NO!! He said he was staying late at work this week to get caught up…he said he was going to do a million other things.. or he said he was just going to be chillin..but he was not going to be doing any of the things on my list.

And I thought about it, why is it that when the wife/mother goes out of town…it’s like everything at home is on hold… it’s like vacation time from the household duties. But let my husband go out of town… do you think anything will be on hold…do you think anything is going to stop… NO!!!

It would be very rare for my husband to take the four kids away on vacation without me.. But if he did.. what do you think I would be doing.. I would probably take that time to remodel the entire house.. paint and re-arrange every room… give each car a tune up.. clean the gargare..finish the basement… and I would work late to get caught up on projects.. go to church.. volunteer at a homeless shelter… Anyway..that was extreme… but I probably would not just relax. And I can’t blame anyone but myself. But I know that many women do this…. Why ladies.. why do we do this.. and then get mad when our husbands have sense enough not to do that???

So ladies …do you feel the way I do… does this happen at your house.. if it does not.. please tell me your secret!!!

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and their latest documentary Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com TheDad

I I were out of town and my wife were doing all of those things I’d tell her to sit down somewhere and chill out and she wouldn’t then when we got back she’d be saying how tired she still was. BMWK family – if you don’t know you’ve got to figure out when to take a break. If you’re the avg. family you don’t get many so you better take advantage.

Fellas when your wife goes out of town does she leave behind a make-believe list of things you wouldn’t have time to do if she was there so she thinks you’re gonna do them while she’s gone in an attempt to keep you busy?

The Mom left out that last night was even the first night I had to myself so I haven’t really been chilling that much not to mention working everyday (not like i’m home) but…. things are gonna change. I have to squeeze some chillin in before the kids get back.

Me and The Mom live by a different creed. She would be trying to do a million things in her free time. I believe free time is for being free. Rest, relaxation, R & R, you get the point. She’d be running around to and fro all day everday busting a move then saying how tired she was. For the next few free days, I’m kicking my feet up, enjoying the piece and quiet then on the last night I’ll work at a feverish pitch to get some things done at the last minute. That’s how I roll! LOL
http://www.keminications.com Kemi in Toronto Cdn

Ronnie, All I can say is OH! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take it away! umm, I mean Take em away!
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com Smooth

It’s has been and always will be the Mom who runs everything, the household (grocery shopping, planning menus and cooking meals, washing clothes, cleaning the home, etc.,) and be ready for Dad when he gets home (smile). Thats why God made us from the rib, the rib is strong and we continue to prove it without trying to prove it. If we left everything to Dad or if we changed roles, how long would the Dad last?????
Let me add, there are some Dads who are doing the Mommy role and doing great at it.

So Mommies, keep on doing the great job, be supportive of your man and always let him know that he is the “Man”……build a great relationship with the in-laws and remind them that you both need some personal time together. Short weekend trips are great…enjoy them and don’t worry about the kids…..Grandma has them.
Anonymous

In response to Smooth, men should also honor their wives. We are no longer living in the day where men are the bread winners and women are the home makers. If your wife is out there with a career, then the husband should be helping out around the house more…it is only fair… otherwise you are going to burn out your wife. If a man allows his wife to work all day and then work all night taking care of the family and he does do his fair share of the work..then he is not respecting her or appreciating her.

There is nothing wrong with rest and relaxation..but if you are constantly resting while your wife is taking care of the house..then something is wrong. Now if you are helping and she still does not relax..then that is on her.
Mrs. D

“make-believe list” ..now that’s funny. Mom you must learn how to chill. It took me a decade to figure this one out. I was sweatin everything and I decided that superwoman must die. (lol) I had to learn how to relax.

My husband was kind enough to offer to send me away on the weekends to get a break from the house and the kids. I use to decline. Now I jump on it. Life is too short, we have to learn how to live, relax and chill sometimes.

But, dude, water the plants. Sounds like my husband. Are you related? Know each other? Or is a male creed? (lol) While I was gone, my husband used to lock my dog outside in the backyard. When I got back Alex (dog) would be peeping in the window begging to come back in. So, it could be worst Mom. (smile) Enjoy your time away and relax.
http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com TheDad

Mrs. D… It’s Man Law #512-A

By the way- I think you’ve found my long lost cousin. Tell him to call me LOL

The Dad is Chillin this Week!!!

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