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Licensed To Snoop! - Do Kids Have Privacy In Your House?
On the way home from work I was listening to Michael Baisden and they were talking about parents looking through their kids stuff and he was saying his kids call him “ND” Nosey Daddy. Some lady even called in and said she caught her 8 year old with a myspace page.
I’m totally with him on this one. All of that kids have rights too stuff is overrated, especially in the age of 1 out of 4 STD’s and myspace. Our teenage son has been caught slippin on more than one occasion so as long as I keep finding stuff I don’t feel the least bit of guilt. I’ve been known to print out a chat transcript then provide the evidence like the late Johnny Cochran. I can tap into a phone conversation better than Lester on “The Wire” (see pic above) and will then question you to see how many lies you tell like Bill Duke in “Menace II Society” - “You know you then @#$#@ up right? (Don’t worry I leave the cuss word out)
Book bags, closets, dresser drawers, it’s whatever. My house my stuff and if I find something then that renews my search warrant for another 1.5 year period.
BMWK family how do you handle your kids - so called personal items? Let them wing it? Do you get all Scotland Yard on them? Please share…
April 10th, 2008 at 8:02 am
I believe a kid’s room should be a private space (unless a parent has reason to believe that the kid has done something wrong). However, the computer MUST
April 10th, 2008 at 8:05 am
I believe a kid’s room should be a private space (unless a parent has reason to believe that the kid has done something wrong). However, the computer MUST be a prime public space in the house …… with plenty of wakl-through. Also, there should be no tv or telephone in the kid’s room, and no way should the kid have a cell phone.
April 10th, 2008 at 9:40 am
My kids are too young to really weigh in on this one, but I think its a parents duty to know who their kids friends are and what theyre up to within reason. If you suspect something is up, you are well within your rights to check it out. As long as that child lives in your house, they are your responsibility.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
My mama always told me “Her house her rules” so she would look through all of our things in our rooms whenever she felt like it… We never had privacy. Now i think thats being pretty smart as a parent.
April 10th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I will keep the reins tight on my kids when it comes to the internet, but I wouldn’t search my kids’ room unless they gave me reason to.
I believe that parents need let kids be kids. I remember my Dad found a Playboy in room when I was a kid and he didn’t trip. He just told me why it wasn’t good and let me decide whether to throw it away.
April 10th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
My 21-year old son still said last week that I was “overprotecting” him after I went into his Facebook account and found he filled all the parameters they asked for in his profile including the address, cell and home phone numbers. With his birthday on there I felt his identity could be stolen. You have to do what’s best for your kids. They may be doing drugs, have a gun and more. Snoop as much as you want! That’s my advice to parents.
April 10th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
My son is 9, so I don’t really have privacy issues as of yet. However, I feel like when my son pays the bills in MY house then he can have a reasonable expectation of property. So long as he lives in MY house where I pay the bills and if I have a reason to believe something is not right, I have the right to search whatever I want to search. My parents were the same way with me and my siblings, and rightfully so.
April 10th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I am not a snoop by nature. Be careful what you snoop for you may open Pandoras Box. lol. Just a FYI for all the woman. I know some who snoop in their mans wallet, cell phones and gym bags. Too much work. Kids and privacy is a privillage not a right. I have a right to envade their privillige whenever I want. I did not have to though. I did invest time in my kids friends, that is important. Our computers were always in a common area and when they were younger we set up their computer accounts and gave them their passwords.
I beleive if you raise them right that most will never want to see you disappointed with them. My kids know where I am if they want to talk or need advice. Because my kids naturally earned privacy it also built a trust between us. I played Private Investigator on the friends they did not bring home, kids know which kids to bring home like a man knows which woman in his life he lets meet mom. lol.
April 10th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Whoa, whoa, whoa Anna, nobody said anything about snoopin on your man… now that’s crossing the line
April 10th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Thedad, I know. but would make for a great topic. lol
April 10th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I am all for “snooping” with your kids. Think about it…if you’re child is engaged in some shady activity that has legal and/or financial repercussions, guess who is financially responsible? You, the parent. You can’t claim “I didn’t know what was going on…I am just as shocked as you are.” And know this…the government probably knows more about what your kids does than you do!
April 10th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Tam Tam, that is so true. Big Brother is always watching. I have not decided if it is a good thing or my right of privacy. Honestly scratched my head on this one.
April 11th, 2008 at 9:31 am
I remember having no privacy in my parents house. So I rented an apartment. I came home one day and my father had left a note regarding some things that he had seen in my apartment. When I called to complain, my father said ‘well if you want privacy, don’t move out of your fathers house into an apartment you’re renting from your uncle”.
April 11th, 2008 at 9:52 am
no they dont, but they do when they secure their own mortgage
April 11th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I am totally with you on the warrent renewal when evidence is found. I believe parents have to parent and that is just the way it is. Parenting is not allowing them free range it is guiding them…..bring up the child in the way that they should go, knowing that they may stray from time to time doesn’t mean through in the towel. Teaching our children is an ongoing opportunity to help them to develope into conscious human beings.
April 11th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
kim h20s Says:
April 11th, 2008 at 9:31 am
I remember having no privacy in my parents house. So I rented an apartment. I came home one day and my father had left a note regarding some things that he had seen in my apartment. When I called to complain, my father said ‘well if you want privacy, don’t move out of your fathers house into an apartment you’re renting from your uncle”.
wow! Not to me that is going to the extreme.
April 13th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
So if a child wrote in their diary that they hated a relative, or even you, would you bring it up? Don’t the kids just learn how to be deceptive?
I think there is a different between snooping based on suspicion and snooping just because.
What if you find a gift intened for you for Mother’s/Father’s day? Are you good at faking surprise?
April 13th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
lunanoire Says: What if you find a gift intened for you for Mother’s/Father’s day? Are you good at faking surprise?
Being one that does not like a surprise. And does not snoop, Mother’s/Father’s Day gift is expected. I will not ruin my real reaction on my kids giving me a gift. Nor what they buy me for my birthday or Christmas. Just as I don’t want my kids to cheat and open their presents under the Christmas Tree. Yes you can fake a surprise but why? Nothing wrong with some self restraint.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:10 am
kim h20
situations like that is why some students move to the other side of the country for school and make it a point to study abroad. I did. I wanted it to be too expensive and inconvenient for my parents to stop by unannounced, not that i had anything to hide.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:10 am
Please, a condom in my son’s wallet better not be a mothers day intended gift. If a child shows signs of his now abnormal activities, I don’t need self restraint, i need to be a the parent, and not best friend. Children grew up in a church going family & has always kept good lines of communication open, but they will not always tell you everything they say they do. I never snooped before because I didn’t have any reason, but after meeting a few new friends, found a little difference in my sons actions.
August 27th, 2008 at 9:53 am
As a child who was regulary snooped on, I believe, I am on the fence. I believe your responsibilities as a parent come first and I my mother gave me subtle privacy but I have no doubt she was in my stuff all along. You have to keep your kids safe but not at the expense of damaging the relationship and bond. Instead of snooping, invest more time into strenghting the lines of communication. I don’t plan to be buddies with my kids but a friend and a resource because I want to be the person they feel most comfortable talking to. Growing up, and even now, I really don’t enjoy talking to my mother. She is so critical, coming to her isn’t worth the arguments we get in to when I just simply want to talk. I don’t always need a lecture or an analysis on how I am wrong. So this led me to go to her friend all my life to talk. This has caused drama over the years but it feels good to just have an honest conversation sometimes without feeling like someone is coming down on you and my mother never appreciated this.