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Where is Tyrone?
On Sunday, I went to my nephew’s 5th birthday party. It was a really nice party. I have to give props to my sister-in-law because she is the hostess with the mostest!!! She always does such a great job when she is having something at the house. But what impressed me the most about the party was the number of men that were there. There were just as many men there as women. Most of the men came with their wives…but some of the men came alone with the kids. It just did my heart good to see so many positive images. Especially in this day and time where you hear negative statistics about Black people EVERY DAY!!
So it really meant a lot to me to see all of those black families there. And more importantly… what a positive image for the kids to see….black families spending time together. Especially for the young boys. I mean what’s up with black men ( well I can’t even say black men..because I think this applies to all men.) Why do men think that family functions and birthday parties are just for the women? And men please don’t respond to say…men don’t like all of those games..and birthday cakes..and decorations and stuff. Because I am a grown-a$$ woman and do you think that my idea of fun is Sponge Bob. And don’t let the party be at a Chuck E Cheese like place…because I can’t stand those!! And men please don’t say…I don’t go because mostly women are there. Because if you started coming, then there would be men there too.
I have always felt like men should be attending/participating with their wives/girlfriends more. But noooo, you see women showing up alone all of the time and you ask “Where is Tyrone? And she says: “he is at home taking a nap… or watching the game… or he does not like coming to these things.” And sometimes the events are with Tyrone’s own family ( his mom or sister or neices and nephews…etc)..and he still doesn’t go. Well I say that is trifling!! I think men should take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with their families. Nowadays there is something going on every weekend…..a soccer game, a dance class, a birthday party… a cookout..and yes..even a baby shower.. Men can go to those too!! If men opted out every time, they would virtually spend NO Saturdays with their families!! I mean, you can literally go years without meeting a woman’s husband. But you know what the ultimate display of Trifle-ness is? When a man does not stay at his own kid’s birthday party!! Now I know I better not get any comments trying to explain why a man does not need to be at his own kid’s party!!
When I looked around the room on Sunday, the men looked like they were enjoying themselves just as much as the women. They could have been dying in the inside..but I would not have known. They looked happy to me… which means ..they looked happy to the kids too!!
BMWK - Why don’t men attend more? Do you feel like men should attend birthday parties, cook-outs, activities and yes..even baby showers more?
April 30th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Of course men should attend all events. I am wondering if some don’t because they may think that so and so does not like them. When you are a couple/married and the woman gets the invite the man sometimes forgets that the invite is for all in the household.
Some men just want their own personal invititation because they can’t read between (some) lines.
May 3rd, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I think most men don’t attend these events is because they are selfish. We don’t even have this discussion anymore. If it is a kids event, the only way you don’t go is because you are sick, dying or at work. I do a lot of stuff that I don’t think is my idea of fun, but my children are having a blast and that does my heart good. Children benefit when Mom and Dad are a real team.
I know a divorced couple that shows up to the events for their kid with the spouses in tow. And they all get along. It is about the kids.
May 5th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Hey BMWK family I am back and refreshed for another week. I read this topic and I found it of the most fascinating nature.
First, to make sure that I am on the same page as everyone else, are we talking about men who are married/dating women and they share a child OR men who are married/dating women in general? If it is the first instance then yes I agree with Mrs. D, Anna, TheDad, and TheMom that if children are involved I dont feel that there is a good reason or excuse for absence.
BUT
Hypothetically speaking if it is the latter instance and there are no children involved then I feel that it is okay for a man not to be present at every function and or event if he and the woman are not married especially if it is not a function being thrown by either individuals family members. A man can be supportive of his wife/woman by attending some but not all functions and gatherings that his wife/woman are invited to.