Guest Post: What To Do When Your Male Friend Wants More and You’re Both Married
This is a guest post from one of our readers, Mrs. D. We’ve been checking out her comments and asked her to do a guest blog. Check it out then tell us what you would do:
There were two people who had been friends since 1st grade. Being male and female as life would have it, they eventually found themselves attractive to one another. The woman refused to take the relationship to another level because she new too much about his background but mostly his promiscuity was what scared her. After twenty years of cat and mouse, she gave in to her passions and made love to him one night and realized how wonderful it could be if they were together, together but she remained quiet about her desires beyond that night and moved on as if nothing had taken place.
Now fast forward almost another 20 years later, he comes clean with his feelings or the ultimate game plan which ever one it really is. He tells her in front of her brother and sister-in-law that he had always expected her to be his wife. It was just a matter of time until she married someone else. In the meantime the two friends remained friends despite the one night of an unforgettable indiscretion. Both are married with kids and from to time have dinner with each other’s families.
Now one of the friends is going through a very difficult phase in his life. He has been stepping out on his wife, fathered an outside child and has allowed everything but his wife and children to take priority in his life. He still leans on his life long friend for advice and direction from time to time. She knows him better than anyone so she thought. His childhood friend has always been there and knows all about him and his exploits. She knows that he has a history of pacifying himself with woman each time life deals him a difficult blow.
Everything was cool or, so it seemed, until the male friend calls her up one day with a seductive tone in his voice saying that he had been thinking about her. She knew that this was something different and faintly familiar from the past. After carefully listening to what he had to say, she abruptly tells him, “Look, I am not going to have sex with you.” He was like that’s okay, we don’t have to have sex, let’s just hang out. Hang out? But aren’t they already socializing with spouses and kids in tow? He was asking for more and hoping for that weak moment for another “booty call”. She refused to be his new “ho”. She remembered him telling her that he had reached an age where he didn’t want to get to know anyone new. Was he trying to make her his new fallback girl? He had always reminded her that she was the most difficult because it took him 20 years to get close to her. So what’s another twenty? Right! He’s patient.
With this indecent proposal on the table, she still thought about it. It was tempting to get a little closer to someone that was already one of her best friends. After all, he’s good looking, charming, college educated, and sexy like you wouldn’t believe. All the things that some may think makes him a “good catch”. He has some things going on but he is hurting, sick and medicating himself with women.
She thought about his wife, all of their children, and how it would impact everyone if it ever got out that they were having an affair. She closed the door to his proposal by telling him that she would not be his new whore regardless of their ties. She told her husband what had taken place to break the hold of the power of secrecy. But it doesn’t end there. His wife calls because she suspects that he is having an affair with another one of his female friends. How ironic? What would you have done? Would you have told the wife or just put him in his place? Would you have told your spouse? Would you continue to be friends with this guy? Just something to make you think.
People have the mindset that “what happens here stays here”, not having a clue to how destructive infidelity is. It is not just about having sex with someone else. It is about the lies and deceit that destroys the foundation of trust. Your children are affected more than we want to believe. Our children become who we are, not what we do. Some call it learned behavior, some call it generational curses and some of it is simply genetic makeup. Nevertheless, however you want to label it, we are teaching our children whether it be active or passive instruction. They will handle life’s situations in the same manner until on purpose decisions are made to do things differently. The picture is much larger than a few seconds of unbridled passions. Other people are involved and someone will get hurt.
Would you tell?
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