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8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage
From MSN… here are 8 things no one tells you about marriage according to them. For the full details of each one you can click here to see the entire article.
1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?
2. You’ll work harder than you ever imagined.
3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
4. You will go without sex — sometimes for a long time — and that’s okay.
5. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
6. A great marriage doesn’t mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.
7. You’ll realize that you can only change yourself.
8. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you’re really made of.
Do you agree with the list? What are the things no one told you that you figured out during your marriage?
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:52 am
Marriage is one of the hardest things that one will go through, you are always trying to make the other person happy .If you are the one always giving ,it seems like you never recieve.You maight want to throw in the towl 85% of the time because, it talks to much time of yourself.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:10 am
For all the married couples out there, why is there such a misconception about marriage? How come everyone who’s not married want to be married, and those married wish they were single? What makes a couple content with each other. There will always be someone with more $, better, looks, more to offer, so what keeps you with your spouse. What makes them so different? Please reply i’m longing to figure this out because i’m a young single woman taking advantage of my time alone to get to know myself before i get in a relationship. so i would appreciate any feedback that will help me to continue to slow my roll and take my time before rushing into marriage.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:13 am
@ Lovelyk - I think a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. If you get with your wife because she makes more $, looks the best or has more to offer, you’re right someone will come along that has more of something at some point down the line and you’ll be wanting to roll out but again thats the wrong reasons.
As for me I love my wife, couldn’t, wouldn’t and shouldn’t want to live my life without her. I was telling someone the other day they can have the single life, I wouldn’t give up what we have now to go back to that and this is coming from a guy that had his fair share of fun during his single days.
The better you know yourself and know your partner the better of you’ll be in a marriage.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:37 am
@LovelyK — I’m 28 and I have been married for 2 years (second marriage). I could not imagine being married to anyone other than my husband. Good looks fade and money is lost, but the love and commitment that you have for your spouse when each of you respect the marriage is priceless. My husband and I don’t always agree and we don’t always get along, but we know that we made a life long commitment to each other that is stronger than any disagreement or argument that we may have. We find a way to get past it and move on. Sometimes that means that I don’t get my way or he doesn’t get his way–and that is okay. Marriage is about give and take. It is about being self less and putting the needs of your spouse above yours. It is hard work and sometimes requires more energy than you will want to use, but it is so worth it when it is the person you are supposed to be married to.
I don’t have a desire to be single. I like the comfort that I have with my husband and the family that we have together. I have a set of twin girls who need their father and who I couldn’t imagine raising without him. I don’t necessarily think that married people want to be single and single people want to be married. I will say that when I was single and only had 1 child, I was able to get to know myself better and look out for my needs better. Now that I am married, it is less about me and more about my husband and our family.
Ms. HM (fa.k.a. Mom of 3)s last blog post..My Finance: Spending On the Weekend
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:26 pm
@ Lovelyk, I love your question. The problem to me is many want to get married because everyone else is doing it and many want to get divorced for the same reason. Some who want to get married will never be committed to a marriage no matter how old they get because they are too busy following lifes temptations. Those who want a divorce are to selfish to remember the love they once had and do not want to work it out. When me and the hubby go out on a date, while sitting at our table until someone comes up to us to take our order or asks us do you need anything or how is it, we forget that there are other ppl in the room becasue we honestly enjoy each others company. There are times when we go to a resturant and I may not have gotten my steak cooked like I like it, I am not going to complain(I am not one to send my food back because I don’t know what mood the chef is in .I can finish cooking it at home). A meal to me is not always about the meal but getting out the house and the communication we get to share with one another.
What marriage means to me is paitence and that the bedroom will never be a place for a disagreement nor talking finances unless you are remodeling(the bedroom).
Lovelyk, what ppl don’t understand about any committed relationship is that it starts with words and emotions and love making. What ppl forget is that intimacey is not only sex, but a combination of things that keep you in a committed or a married relationship. Of course it does help that you not only like the person you are with but love and respect them.
PS: I use the words committed or marriage because I know ppl who have been in a committed relationship longer than I have been married. A marriage is different than shacking up but it does not make them less committed because I have a piece(s) of paper. and they don’t. A marriage means you have more say/rights should the other pass away. Or have a medical emergency. To quote Will Smith. “Divorce is not an option”. Plus for me, I am to old for the dating scene and I will always love and like who I married. Let me correct myself. I may not always like what he does but as a person in general I like him, and once you love or are in love with someone it does not change like turnig on or off a light switch. Once again my comment is long but I will not apologize for being a romantic. or on vaction with no where to go becasue gas is too high. LOL.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:38 am
@ Anna — Very well said.
Ms. HMs last blog post..My Finance: Staying on top of Medical Bills and Insurance Companies
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:55 am
Marriage is a God idea and it has to be looked at from His view.
In a way it’s like turn the other cheek thing and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So, the longer I am with my husband the stronger my love for him should grow. So as long as we are in God the stronger our love for Him grow.
Some things are so hard for us to understand like we become one. The first question people ask is how can you become one? God don’t see us as two different people any more because we took a vow to become one and that just how he sees us.
So do you see were I am trying to go with this? With out God In a marriage I just don’t see a marriage making it to death. I believe down through the years man have brought their own agenda into what a strong biblical marriage should be and ruin the idea of a marriage.
July 4th, 2008 at 8:07 am
Great comments, my wife and I use an ancient African principle called MAAT to guide us. MAAT is defined as truth, reciprocity, order, balance, justice, and righteousness. Using these ideas neither of us is the “head” of the household. Those decisions that cannot be decided together are put to the test of intellectual debate rather than arguments that lead to fights. We disagree but never, ever “fight”. We use the balancing opposites of masculine/feminine and this way we are always in sync with one another.
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