When I was little, if I was cutting up all my mother had to do was look at me and I would straighten up right then and there. It was a look that she gave me that told me that I was one step away from getting jacked up. It was the signal. For my mom, her lips would get tight and her brow would get wrinkled and her normally big beautiful eyes would almost get a little squinty. And she would just stare at you. You could be acting a fool, laughing, giggling, whatever and then you would look over at my mom and just get a chill throughout your body. And you knew!!! At that point you would just stop what you were doing and find some corner somewhere to sit in until that look went away.
I was not as successful at the signal as my mom. It took a lot longer for me and my kids to get this signal thang perfected. When my son was younger, I would give him the harshest signal I knew to give…forehead wrinkled, lips poked waaay out, eyes almost squinted shut, and arms folded. But my son would continue to act a fool. Laughing, running, playing, jumping…and would sometimes stop to say” Mom…what’s wrong…why are you looking like that?” Needless to say, this child forced me to embarrass him on several occasions before we got this signal thang down. But maybe my method of disciplining him was not effective enough. Which is why it took us so long to get it right. If I needed to correct him, I would either say something to him in front of his peers. Getting in trouble in front of your peers always caused instant heartache for him as they would snicker, laugh or point. Or, maybe I would pull him aside, holding his arm really tight. I would get real close up to his ear and with clinched teeth I would tell him all of the things that I would do to him if he did not straighten up. Then I would give him a time out or something like that.
But that is not what my mom used to do if the signal did not work. It was Oops Up Side Yo Head..I said a Oops Up Side Yo Head. It only took one time for that to happen and you knew you did not want to take things that far ever again. I think kids now-a-days know that parents will not do that in public anymore…and they take advantage.
Well guess what. TheDad accused me of not knowing the signal twice this weekend while we are on vacation here in the ATL. Each time, we were visiting my family or friends and he was basically tired and ready to go. He said he did everything in his power to signal to me that he was ready to go. Besides looking sleepy, he said he touched my knee. He was wiggling in his seat. He rubbed my back. I asked him was he tired and ready. and he said “Yes” And for some reason, I still did not get the message. He said that I would announce that we were leaving and then proceed to talk another hour. He knew I had not seen my friends for a hile, so he was a good sport and let me get caught up…Thanks Dad!!! We are normally very respectful of each other, so this does not happen very often… I am sorry DAD!
BMWK Family – Do you have a signal with your kids? What is it and does it always work (or am I the only mom that struggled with that.) Do you and your spouse have a signal or code word? If so, what is it?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
OMG!!! My mom had that signal too!!! Her eyes would get all evil and squinty and you just knew, that if you did not quit whatever you were doing and sit your hindpots down somewhere she was gonna ware you out!!!!! I do use the same tactics and it works because like my mother I have NO problem spanking whenever and wherever a spanking needs to take place…Other mothers usually give me the evil eye but whatever…because now that the kids are older it usually does get taken that far anyway.
My mother had a signal. She still uses it today and I am 34. Not that she would hit me upside the head but I still heed the signal *lol* My daughter will stop if I look at her in a certian way. My son will look at me and crouch like I am getting ready to beat him and then go back to what he was doing. I am working on him
My spouse and I don’t have a code word. We only have a issue at his families houses since they are out of town. I usually just say I am ready to go and he can come with us or stay with his brothers. I am usually dead tired by then and don’t have time, I just come right out with it *lol*
My mother still has a signal, whatchu talkin’ bout? LOL!
My husband and I haven’t perfected a signal yet, but we need to get one cause the other day we were at his sister’s house and, though I love her, after the second hour of her nonstop talking I was considering jamming a pencil in my throat so I could get out of that house.
I’m still working on perfecting my signal with my kids, I’ve resorted to a very loud whisper but I need to get the silent thing down. For my spouse- we haven’t had a need for a signal yet (or at least I haven’t and I’m pretty much the one always running my mouth lol
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My mother still uses it and I know better than to test it. I will use it for sure. I will also give my baby the look when it’s time . She is 4.5 months old now…..but I’m watching her…..LMAO LMAO!
LOL. yeah i use that signal!
i started by disciplining my son whenever he did something wrong or dangerous. then, i would give him heeded warning by calling his name and stating ‘no’. he learned to listen (around less than a year old) that ‘no’ was followed by pain if he proceeded.
by the time he was still toddling around in diapers over a year old, he knew what the look was. i didn’t need to call his name, say ‘no’ or anything. 6 years later. he just knows my look. funny enough, so does the public. they stop and stare when they see me looking at him like that and many of them comment on how well behaved he is and what a wonderful parent i must surely be!