IMO I think having positive men in your son’s life is the key. The comments above are all excellent, seek help through the church, sports can be another avenue, something else you can try is going to the child’s school and speaking with the guidance counselor. A lot of times they are aware of programs in the area, some of which are specifically tailored for young boys and they can point you in the right direction also.

Trinas last blog post..Jack of All Trades and Master of None

I commend you for you honesty. Even more so I commend you for recognizing you need the help of men. Many single mothers are almost too confident they can take their sons to manhood without significant help of other men.

I would recommend a multi pronged approach. First, get them involved in sports. However, the coaches need to be real men of integrity, not those “win at all costs” coaches. Some of my greatest lessons about manhood I learned from my Pop Warner football coach. He was an older man who would get in our faces in a heartbeat. However, he clearly had a heart for the work he did with us. It was evident in so many ways. His aim was not to make us into great football players. His aim was to make us into great young men. Most of the boys who played under him have turned out to be very productive young men.

Second, consider getting them involved in church or community activities that are led by men. And do not rule out getting them a Big Brother, either.

Finally, when they get older, get them involved in activities that require them to be responsible for younger kids. For example, when I worked at the Boys and Girls Club we let the teens and pre teens help us monitor the younger children. Of course, we kept their limited authority in check. In the process they learned to be better decision makers and problem solvers. It helped develop their maturity.

In closing, the key is to expose your sons to strong and compassionate men. They need to be under the authority of men. That is how they learn how to have a better respect for authority. That is not to say they do not have a healthy respect for authority now. I just know how boys can get sometimes. Also, being under authority teaches them how to better handle having authority later in life.

Good luck with your boys. As long as they have a caring mother like you who is looking for answers I believe they will turn out to be great young men.

Now having said that, there are going to be things that you just are NOT going to know – and there will be situations that you will not be able to control, especially as they age so do your best to keep communication open with your sons –if you don’t know the answer, do your best to find it – times have changed, there are many more resources out there that can help to educate them to minimize getting any wrong information from the wrong individuals. Raising children as a single parent, let alone boys is a challenge, but even children with two-parent homes have issues – its harder but not impossible; look at Barack Obama ?

Stay strong but also let your sons see the feminine side of you and how you want to be treated as a woman by men (and people) in general, personally and professionally. You are their role model – children imitate what they see. Also, do something for yourself as well so that you can become more in tune with who you are – i.e., take a walk, keep a journal.

Keep God first – because there will be storms, but in the end God will guide you and your boys thru it!.

Hang in there and don’t give up! Good luck and all the best.