When To Have Kids: Close Together or Further Apart?
HER VIEW:
BMWK family I will vote for having them closer together if you can afford it emotionally, physically, and fianancially. As you know, TheDad and I actually have four kids. There are 9 years difference between the first and second kid. And there are 5 years difference between the second and third kid. Our last 2 kids are just 18 months apart. We were already in baby mode when our last baby came 6 months ago. When I had the kids farther apart,each time it was like starting from scratch.
There are pros and cons to having them close together or further apart. I guess you just have to decide which way is best for you. Knowing what I know now, my vote is close together for a variety of reasons. One of my main reasons is that the kids will have siblings that can be their playmates. The two older kids really did not have any playmates at home and they were always wanting to go over someone else’s house to play. My sister and I are 11 months apart and we always had each other…and we still have each other.
But I have to be honest, having two babies in diapers now provides its own set of challenges.
HIS VIEW:
When people see us with 2 small children, they often remark how they couldn’t do it. But really this was my plan with TheMom. My thinking was that I wanted to be done with the entire process all at once, so why not bang it out. We had already trained our bodies to sleep lightly and to be able to get up in the middle of the night just based on a slight whimper (this is no small feat because when we first had the baby..I’d be lights out.) We were already used to changing pampers, making bottles, and dealing with the overall baby madness.
Now the major drag is paying daycare twice. That’s no joke!! But as far as basic baby duties, I’d rather get them out of the way. I tell TheMom all of the time. Just think, when our youngest gets out of diapers, we will never have to buy another diaper again. And the same goes for formula and baby food. Then the last thing I tell her is that when they get out of daycare, it will be like we got a raise on the job.
If you can afford it, my vote is definitely to have the kids closer together as opposed to further apart.
BMWK - Did you have your kids closer together or father apart? If you haven’t had kids yet, which way do you plan on doing it.
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My kids are close in age. At one time I had a 4 yr old a 2 yr old and a new born. Talk about sleep deprived. I am so glad that it happened this way for me. My kids are not only siblings but best friends. When they were younger and little Billy did not or could not come out and play I would tell them to entertain each other. They are now 23 almost 21 and 19. If I had another child unless I had twins I would have to have another baby. Kids should have siblings close to their age, so they don’t feel like an only child. Everyone has something they invest in, i. e. Stock Market, Property, Careers. I invested my time sweat and tears in my kids. My investment paid off bigger than i could have ever dreamed of. The good news is, they do grow up, they do still need your love and advice oh yea, my kids still want my money. Ha Ha, I say call your dad! I am really not that mean but I can say that my kids keep me broke. I only do it because I am 41 and my sunset years are fastly approaching. One of them will have to take care of me. LOL. .
I have a son who is 10 and a set of twins who are 10 months old. I agree with the Mom, when you have kids that far apart, it feels like totally starting over. Even though I have twins this time around, it seems that I have way less patience and I am a walking zombie from lack of sleep.
Ms. HMs last blog post..My Life: I’m Back!
@Anna- glad you got your book, let us know what you think after you read it.
I already see a super close bond between our two youngest girls and think its because they’re so close in age.
@ TheDad, I sure will let you know about the book, I plan on reading it this 3 day weekend. I do want to know who the cute little young men who are pictured in the post. The pic is priceless and how can a parent not melt and want to give them the world? The kool aid smile of a child makes me smile. I am also so happy and have been in a good mood all week. Watching the DNC is so many things to me. Over whelming, tissue using and to see the rainbow of ppl makes me smile and I know GOD is good everyday
We only want one.
Random pics of boys from the web. We’ve only got one boy and he’s a nucklehead teenager
I have 2 children, ages 9 yrs and 20 months. I am so happy I did not have children close together. Not only is my 9 yr old a huge help, but he also plays with his sister, reads to her, all w/o the usual sibling rivalry. My brother and I are close in age and we used to drive my parents crazy because we fought over everything. The one good thing is that now my brother and I are very close, I wonder how that will work w/ my children since there is an 8 year difference.
First off, Congratulations on the interview with WKYS! Outstanding!!
My sons are 11 months apart, Irish twins they call them lol I was carrying one on my back and one in the front and some days my husband would come home and find all three of us crying. It was hard then, but as they grew up it was the best decision we made. They are each others best friend and have a connection between the two of them, for them, by them!
The biggest benefit we’ve found is that when one left the house, the other was sure to follow. So at 38 and 40 my husband and I COULD have been empty nesters but noooo, we fail prey to service and went into foster care! Go figure!
Joslins last blog post..Friday’s Sack ‘em or Trade ‘em
I vote on closer together,also i grew up a single child and always wanted a brother or sister to play with and current I have a set of twin boys that will b 4 tomorrow and I’am expecting a baby girl this coming tuesday and i’am DONE now because I here the child care is murder. I am lucky enough to work night and my wife own her own salon so it is very easy for my boy to go to work with her I’ve always said i refuse to make someones esclade payment
@msquared- We have a rack of kids and our six year old is great at helping with her little sisters. Our teen is good to have around so we can make him watch the kids if we need to do something real quick like run to the store without packing up a bunch of car seats. So having an older sibling is definitley helpful to you but I do wonder how close they’ll be with their brother who is 13 years older than them.
@Joslin- thanks, I was wondering if anyone heard it
We should get the audio soon so we can post it on the site for our out of town and out of country listenters
@Andrew- Child Care is bloody murder… I tell my wife when our kids get into school it will be like we got a raise on the job.
@ andrew that’s cute and I know that’s right I’m not trying to pay for that escalde either. lol but I agree on closer together. I have an 11 year old I had her when I was 18 by another other than my husband. I didn’t get married until I was 20 (I know you guys are like 20!!) anyway for “ME” and I stress me it was the second best thing I did the first being getting saved, but I now have to kids with my husband 7 and 2 and there’s quite a gap between all of my kids they get into their own moments but they have learned each other as have I and I must admit at times it can be overwelming have a pre-teen along with a 7 year old who literally thinks he’s super/batman (GOTTA LOVE HIM) to my 2 year old who just wants everyone’s attention. For me I look forward to seeing my kids face in the morning and after a hards day work I look forward to seeing it again. “Oh, and babe I love looking at your face to”
(come & leave in peace)
Glad to have children…did not matter how far apart…Breyer’s all natural ice cream increased sperm count for me and 6 years later 2nd son was born.
True, I did want them to be together, but this way one will be around the house a lot longer for me and my wife. Having children years apart is challenging and more rewarding!!!
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