It is not as easy to walk away from a marriage than just dating. I only suggest that just because he now wants you back does not mean that some kind of counseling is not warranted. If one goes back after even a 2 month seperation it’s resuming what you left as though nothing happended. Or if you go back to the relationship and it has been longer than 6 months it feels fun and new again. Each person is still the same person and without revaluation of ones self and counsling it is once again not going to work. As someone stated “He wants his comfort zone back”, in a relationship/ marriage we find a comfort that is familiar to us beit good or bad. You gave him a altamatium(sp) he took the bait, but remember it took 2 months not 1 day. If it were my man I would want to know what he was doing in those 2 months.

I agree with KIT wholeheartedly. Five years may seem like a long time to be in a relationship, but it may be the time that a person needs to grow and mature. My husband and I were together 3 years before we got married. We discussed marriage during that time and knew that we wanted to get married one day. I now think that we should have dated a lot longer. We have now been married for 2 years. I had a son before we got married and now we have a set of twins who are 10 months old. I think my husband is overwhelmed with us being married and the addition of 2 babies. Enjoy the time you are married and don’t pose ultimatums unless you really mean it.

Ms. HMs last blog post..Got A Pay Raise………BUT………

It seems to me that your feelings and how you feel fell way on the backburner and it’s been all about him and how he feels. He’s not ready to get married so you have to be patient. Now he’s ready (probably only because you stopped the relationship) and putting the pressure on you. On the other hand, perhaps he realized once you left him how YOU must have felt and realized that he hadn’t been right towards you. Perhaps he had an epiphany and grew up a bit when he realized that what may have been the best thing in his life walked away because he didn’t want to commit. As they say, “You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.”

I think you have a lot to think about and assess before you decide on an answer to give this guy. I see it (and you see it) from the girl point of view, but what about the guy point of view? Guys are wayyy more sensitive than I ever imagined they were….sometimes more so than women. So that may have a huge part in his change of heart. And you need lots of communication between the two of you to figure out where his change of heart is coming from. Take as long as you need to figure it out. Better to make an informed decision and be at peace with that decision than to rush into a mistake and end up regretting it. Just keep us updated. *grin*

Also, are you sure you want to get married or was it more that you wanted him to want to marry you?

Finally, remember that every relationship is not marriage bound. Some good relationships are just good relationships.

Good luck.

@PinkGirl – like Keep IT Trill said you have to decide if you’re just on payback now or not. After two months away you should know whether that was real love or just a passing fancy.

Also thank you for sharing with the site and we truly hope in the end that everything turns out the right way.

The question now is do you really love him? This past summer you did. Do you still love him? If you do, but you’re just stalling as form of payback, there’s a real good chance he’ll dip outta the relationship. From the point of view of many males, he was comfortable when things were as they were. Then you shook the tree and made an ultimatum based on your saying you were ready. He thought about it, and made the huge mental leap of taking the leap. Diss him now, and may feel you’re playing with his heart and more about drama than love.

If during the separation you discovered you don’t truly love him, your decision should be a no-brainer. Say thank you and say goodbye.

Good luck in your decision.

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BTW, M&Mw/kids, I like your new webpage design.

Kit (Keep It Trill)s last blog post..From Black Monday to Black Autumn: The New Great Depression Arrives

Just how there may be pressure to get married, there is pressure not to. There are many people that are against it and will tell you “you aren’t ready”, “too young”, or “live a little”. That may have delayed your BF decision as well.

Either way, you should definitely think about it first… its only natural. You want to make sure hes really ready and not just trying to appease you. A marriage/wedding should be planned out of this. Because you don’t want to be engaged for 3+ years…. That will be just another argument in itself.

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