MSN: What Moms Wish Dads Knew

Parenting

by Lamar Tyler | on October 23rd, 2008 | 9 comments

Here is a list of things that moms wish dads knew. You can read the full article here:

We still want to feel sexy.
We’re new at this too…and it’s hard.
We still love you; we’re just tired and cranky.
Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding are NOT easy.
We need some help…and some breaks.
Diapers diapers diapers!

BMWK, you know the drill. What’s missing and what would you add if anything.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

Kelli

AMEN!
Anna

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. Diapers, Diapers, Diapers. New moms and moms with older children do need a break. We love our husband but our maternial instinct takes over and we are moms. We get tired and we need help in every way. I think sometimes we want to be “super moms’ and prove we can do it all and the man is sitting on the back burner. Men are simple (in a good way) if you put/place a plate or make and serve a plate for them between taking care of the kids they(men) just want to know you remember them. My husband did take a back seat being a “stepdad” to the children. Now it is finally “our” time. We paid our dues and we get to make up for lost time (if you know what I mean). I live in a home with kids who don’t live here, but still all have a key to the house. Note to self, change the locks so the kids don’t have access when we are being a married couple in our boring PJ’s watching a great football or pre season basketball game. If anyone dares to read between the lines you all know where I was going with this. Life is good.
http://huemanity.blogspot.com Huemanity

Men always find a way to be busy doing something else when they smell a diaper that needs to be changed. LOL, it’s like telepathy or something. They disappear before it even happens!

Huemanitys last blog post..Park Packs: Nature
Misbeehavin

I agree with all of the above, especially about needing the help. I know most of the time us woman come across like we have it all under control, but we do need the help. Here’s my list….

1. A womans job is never done.
2. We want to hear your problems, no matter how big or small.
3. Helping around the house turns us on.
4. Keeping the toilet seat up drives us crazy, well me anyway.
5. I dont just want to be heard, I want you to listen, there’s a difference.
Anna

@ Misbeehavin said:
I agree with all of the above, especially about needing the help. I know most of the time us woman come across like we have it all under control, but we do need the help. Here’s my list….

1. A womans job is never done.
2. We want to hear your problems, no matter how big or small.
3. Helping around the house turns us on.
4. Keeping the toilet seat up drives us crazy, well me anyway.
5. I dont just want to be heard, I want you to listen, there’s a difference
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love your list. Number 3 is my fav. Foreplay starts in the Kitchen and not with food. Knowing that the stove is not on and the food is put away and the dishes are washed by either hubby me or the both of us is “peace of mind” to enjoy Other things “That Married Ppl Do”. LOL. I do also like # 4. I have trained the men in my house to do this and I know when I come home and the seat is up that it has to be somebody that does not know my rules or me. Being my kids don’t live here anymore but still have keys I know when the seat is up that my kids were here with ppl I don’t know for a “Pit Stop”. Or the hubby brought his famiily member or one of his friends over that has no woman in their life to remind me they are marriageless. I blame it on the latter. My kids and hubbby know better. lol. Women, have you ever not turned the light on to use the bathroom and got a cold shock? It happened to me many yrs ago and I put my foot down and they know now to put the toilet seat down.
I am just happy that when I find the seat up I may be mad about who was in my house but I have never had the “cold shock” since. The lesson of all of this is ” look before you sit”. I don’t have to anymore, I have learned long ago to scope it out before I go to bed. I can remember hearing years ago about a woman who did not “look before she sat” and a rat was on the “down position”. of the seat. eeeeewwwwwwwwww. I have also taught my girls to “look before you squat”. We all hate publc restrooms but I tell my girls to make sure there is toilet paper before you do what you have to do. If worse comes to shove they have been advised by dear old mom to keep “kleenix tissue packets in their purse(s) If this room does not know me by now, you will never ever know me. I say what’s real.
@ Misbeehvin, I too like to be heard and not just “listened to”. We know they can hear what we are saying but to listen and get it is the challenge. Yes, a womans job is never done. I still love being a woman. There are parents who do teach their young boy/men to hold a door open for a female of any age. We allow some men to make or break our spirit/being. My son is so amazing to me. He may not be what his sisters are but he is a “mammas boy” . I have worked on cutting the apron string/cord. My hubby along with me and his parents are going out to brunch tomorrow. How short can my apron/cord string have to be for my own son when I love my hubby for being a great son and being a mammas boy/man himself? We woman can’t win for losing. I love my hubby and his parents. I love the company of his parents. I am not meek, weak or otherwise. I just fall for a man with parents they appreriacte. Once again my hubby is a money pincher like his dad. I will take my money with me in case my “cheap” huuby wants to go dutch. LOL.
Jonesi

@Anna….Dutch?!?! Those are fighting words to me!!! Want to really piss me off? Ask me to pay for myself…..I know some folks may disagree but going dutch just does not sit well with me all
Misbeehavin

Thanks Anna. Kudos to you for teaching the men in your household to put the toilet seat down. I never fell in, thank goodness, but it takes half a second so just do it. Number one on my list came from my husband telling me that when I’m home I should take it easy sometimes and watch a movie. I’m like thats impossible sometimes, I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old so I dont get a chance to do those things when I’m home. If I turn away for 5 seconds from my son he’s gonna be in something. Jonesi–There’s nothing wrong with going dutch every once in a while.
Marcus

Ladies, give the men some credit. Geeeeeze, who said we didn’t know these things; appreciate our women, tell them they look sexy, help around the house, etc. These things are a given for many men, and many men do their part. We are as overwhelmed as you are sometimes, because new babies can be overwhelming for any new parent(s), even veteran parents. I think the key is not talking about how much you want your husband to do this or that, but to equally help each other out. My wife and I don’t really have time to play this game of “bathe me in adoration because I just had a baby.” Women please don’t take offense to that statement, but not all women think like that. I honestly think what makes my wife happy is the fact that I’m there loving, and playing with my daughter, getting her dressed, bathing her, reading to her…and we both do these thing. Heck, with so many fathers these days not even there, If you got a good black man at home, that’s a good father, ladies you should LOVE THE HELL OUTTA HIM. When the baby comes, there should be a lot of selflessness going on, and that’s how we are, selfless. At the end of the night, we both lay down with a good sence of responsibility for our child, and us as a family over all. To sum it all up, having a new baby is hard for both parents, mom and dad, especially for mom, BUT…if both of you are working to help each other, then this new spirit of family takes you a long way. If your husband loves you, and adores you, then you’ll hear those good compliments anyway, regardless of you just having a baby or not. I love my wife, who just had a baby a couple of years ago, and I show it. But don’t give me a list, lol, of what I should be saying, cause quite frankly, it’s insulting…lol.
cc.

I am truly blessed and I thank God.

MSN: What Moms Wish Dads Knew

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