Guest Post: Want To Get Rid Of Your Teenager? Take ‘em To Nebraska!

Parenting

by Lamar Tyler | on November 18th, 2008 | 10 comments

This guest post is from our friends over at Thestateof.com. Check this out then show them some love over at their spot where you can find more great content.

“There are a couple of ways law-abiding citizens can abandon children in Nebraska. Sometimes a desperate parent will tell a child that he or she is going to the hospital for something minor, like a rash — then in the emergency room, the child waits and waits, only to discover that the doctors are there but the parent has walked away for good. Or unruly teenagers might simply be dumped at the ER door. “A parent will pull up and say, ‘All right, get out of the car,’ ” says Lisa Stites of Creighton University Medical Center in Omaha. In other states, laws that allow parents to leave their children at hospitals or fire stations are usually limited to newborns of a few weeks or months. In Nebraska, the law failed to define the word child. As a result, teenagers as old as 17 have been abandoned.”

“And not just one or two. Nebraska found itself facing an epidemic of abandoned children after the legislature passed a law in July that allowed parents to leave their children at a safe place, like a hospital, without fear of prosecution. It was one of the last states in the country to pass such legislation — but the law contained a large loophole by including children of all ages. The legislature gathered on Friday in a special session to fix the safe-haven law. The day before, three more kids were abandoned at Omaha hospitals, bringing the total to 34 since mid-September, shortly after the law was passed. A 5-year-old boy was left by his mother on Thursday night; two teenage girls, 14 and 17, were dropped off earlier the same day. The older girl ran away from the ER before authorities could arrive. And a Florida man traveled from Miami to drop off his 11-year-old boy earlier this week.

BMWK I just told our teen to get out of the bed and that he’s not going to school today, instead we’re going to take a road trip to see the country. Nebraska in particular, LOL. What do you think about parents dropping off their teens? Have you ever wanted to drop yours off? Should the state legislators have seen this coming?

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

Misbeehavin

OMG, I heard about this the other night on the news. I know in NY if you don’t want your newborn you can take them, to a hospital,church or a police station. But a teenager, thats another story. I think when your a teen is when you need your parents the most. That’s a time in your life when your making stupid decicions and you need guidance, so for your parents to get rid of you at stage in you life must really be hard for someone to deal with. What happens to these kids when they are left? Is there some kind of shelter there for them?
Anna

This is so sad. One man dropped off many kids. He kept his 2 month old but had more kids up to age 17. The rest of the family were more than willing to help and now are finding it diffucult to get the kids back. I understand that there was a loophole for this to happen but what parent is so desperate that you can drop off your child and simply walk away. There is a difference between having a child that is unrulely vs a child that you can no longer afford to feed. Either way as parents I thought it was our job to find ways to take care of our family. There are parents driving across the country to drop their kids off in Nebraska. These kids must not only feel abandoned but humiliated. It is our job as parents to make our children feel safe and secure, how can they be discarded as though they are a pet that is no longer wanted.
kim h20s

the nebraska issue highlights the fact that people often need help for their kids, yet the only way to get that help is by surrendering your child to the state. it is terrible that working parents who love their children, can’t always provide health insurance, but if that same parent were to give their child up, that child would have healthcare as a ward of the state. those parents are in a terrible position and i bet most of them would LOVE to keep their kids, if only they could be assured their kids would get the help they need.
Nicole

I think that the issue is a kinda 2-sided. I feel sorry for the children, but I’d rather they drop the children off then hurt them.

I’ve been a social worker for several years and have worked in foster care, CPS, and the juvenile justice system. Yes, help is hard to get but parents need to rely on themselves more than the system. Once your child gets in the system it’s so hard for these parents to regain control of them.

Parents also need to parent their children. You can’t let your child get flip at the mouth when their young, laugh, think it’s cute, and then try to rein them in when they become a teenager and curse you out. Be a good STRICT parent to your children when their young and they won’t turn out of to be unruly when their older.
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Anna

Amen @ Nicole. When little Ray Ray acts out it is our job to correct it not think this his tantrums and cursing are cute. You do get back what you are willing to invest in(minus the stock market righ not, but that’s another post).
Anonymous

ninety nine per cent of the time it is not the kids fault when they start on the road to destruction. it could be the parent that needs help in parenting. you have got to be a very strong willed person to say to yourself i was abused so i will not abuse my child or i saw my parents do this but i will never do this to my child. face it we indentify with what we know because no matter how hard you try to do the right thing we lash out when we are in a crisis. the kids may be bad but how do you get to the point of dropping them off at a hospital? if you are a new parent start while your child is young making that child the center point of your life. don’t become so tired and bogged down you cannot listen to your child. when you seek guidence for your child do not go to a person that gives advice and they have children that act like fools.don’t let them say to you i should have done this or that with my child so this is what you should do. seek a person with wisdom and knowdlege. most insurances have counselors. it is hard being a parent and it is harder being a child in this world the way it is today. things that happen today are just so out there, the drugs, sex, lies, videos, things that used to embarass us years ago are everyday happenings, we know they are not right but we just go along with it. in my day you would not have to wonder if my family would be ok with me bringing my partner to
thanksgiving diner, you would never put your family through that.
we have to keep our kids and this nation in prayer. president obama believes in change so much so that he has changed the face of history, why can’t we have that same change to make us better parents, to make us better children. we are in this together, when someone dumps a child anywhere it should shake us down to the core of our soul.it should not become a debate on if he is wrong or right but let’s fix this. i thank you for this post if one person reads this and take something postive away it will more than make up for the people who think i am just venting.
Kryssi

Are you serious?! I thought that was the purpose of boarding and reform school. What could you possibly solve by dropping YOUR child off to be raised by complete strangers, and at such an older age!? You know children are seeds of their fruit. All of the actions that the child displays, and the parent can’t put up with are just a reflection of what they used to be or what they are. It’s time for parents to regain their position of authority in the household, because i’ll admit, some of these children are “off the chain” but it starts in the home!
Kim C.

the devil has a hold of so many of these children, i can’t blame them. if mine were crazy, i’d do it too. anything short of me beating them to death is probably an alternative everybody would be happy with
dark_angel

y would u say stuff like that parents cant handle the situation u dnt kno wat they have been through so u got everything twisted but some ppl are doing it for attention which is dunb so yall are messed up saying that & i am from NEBRASKA