BMWK Anniversary Classic: Et tu, Brute? Am I guilty of Racial Profiling?

Et tu, Brute? Yes me!! I am guilty of racial profiling

It was a normal visit to the OBGYN ( I am going every week now that it is getting closer to my delivery date.) I park my van in front of the doctor’s office and sign in. In the lobby, I sit in front of the window …so I can see the parking lot from where I am sitting. Suddenly I noticed a black man in the parking lot. He has long dreads. He is not wearing a suit…he is dressed normal…. a jacket ,some jeans etc. He is smoking a cigarette. My mind starts to churning. What is he doing here? This is a woman’s office… why is he out there? I don’t see any other black women in this office. He does not belong here. Why is he looking into the van? He is pacing and smoking and looking in the van… What does he think he is doing? Finally, he throws down his cigarette and gets into the van. OH NO HE DIDN’T!!! I jump up yelling NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The magazine that I was reading went flying into the air and I burst out of the lobby and through two sets of doors. Only to see that he is not in MY VAN!!!! In fact, he was in his own van. I look to see my van parked 3 spaces down…I hear the crickets churping

I immediately turn around and take the walk of shame back into the doctor’s office…where everyone is standing! The receptionist behind the counter is standing, the nurses behind the receptionist behind the counter are standing, another pregnant lady is standing…her mother who came with her is standing. Everybody is standing when I get back into the office. They say: “are you allright?” With a bright red face, I say: ” Yes..I am just embarassed.”

How could I do that? I was so busy looking at that black man, I did not even look to see that it was not my van. It was not even the same color, make, or model. To top it off, this brother was there doing the right thing. He was there to attend the appointment with his wife. They drove separate cars. He was 30 minutes early. How many women wish that their men would attend appointments with them? I bet a lot of them. And the worse thing about this, we were the only 2 black people there. I was soo ashamed

After the doctor finished seeing me, he yelled “Don’t Mug Anybody” as I walked down the hallway. They all laughed. When I reached the checkout counter, I asked the receptionist, What happened to that man? She said that he was in the back with his wife. I said please don’t tell him what happened. She said, I am not going to tell him that there is a crazy lady out here ready to KICK YO ASS!! KICK YO ASS, normally I get offended when people (especially white people) use slang like that with me. I don’t talk like that ( at least not outside of the home).. so what makes them think they can talk like that to me. But that day, I deserved it. I just smiled and walked out of the office

How could I do that? If it was a white man standing out there, would I have even given him a second glance? I bet I would have at least noticed that it was not my car. Can I blame the news? I see black men up to no good every day on the news. I can’t blame anyone, I just need to do better. How can I get mad at other people for racial profiling when I am doing it myself???? It was definitely a wake up call.