Gift Wrapping Gone Wild With BMWK

Like most households, Christmas Eve and Christmas day are busy times for us. We have Christmas Eve dinner with TheDad’s family. And then we get up bright and early on Christmas morning ( like 5 am), allow the kids to open their presents and then hit the road. We need to be at my parent’s house by 8 am for the yearly Christmas breakfast. It’s not just a breakfast…it’s a program ( as TheDad stated after his first Christmas with us.) There’s food, prayer, praise and worship, a mini sermon, Christmas singing, gift exchanges…you name it and we do on it Christmas morning.

Since Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are so busy, I wanted to make sure that we were not up until 2 am on Christmas Day wrapping gifts and putting toys together for the kids. So last night after our 3 oldest kids went to bed, TheDad and I grabbed the baby and went to basement to wrap our kids’ gifts. Earlier this week, our six year old and I wrapped everyone else’s gifts…..so the only things left to wrap were the gifts for the kids.

TheDad started off strong. He was wrapping gifts, talking to his brother on the phone, cracking jokes…etc. But as the night went on, I could see his energy level dwindling. Me on the other hand, I am like a machine when it comes to holiday planning. I am very driven and I won’t stop…can’t stop until all work is done. I had everything I wanted to do this week mapped out in my mind and everything was going according to schedule.

Anyway back to TheDad, as I stated his energy level was dwindling and the straw that broke the camel’s back was that last large gift that he wrapped….after that gift it went all downhill for TheDad. First of all, he cut the paper too short for that large box….but there was no going back for TheDad. He wrapped that gift knowing that the wrapping paper was too short. He said: “Babe…I’m going to just cut another piece off and tape it on to cover the gap.” I just looked at him with a smile and said oh. Since I knew the gift was for our six year old, I did not make a big stink about it. But earlier this week when our six year old wanted to tape 2 pieces of wrapping paper scraps together in order to wrap a gift, I told her no…that’s tacky…let’s use a new piece. So TheDad taped his tacky piece of paper on the gift… he also mended a few of the corners that he ripped in the process of wrapping the gift and then he was done.

Then he came up with this bright idea. “Hey babe…let’s start an assembly line. You cut the paper and I will wrap and tape the gift.” Now I don’t know about you… but for me… the worst part of wrapping a gift is cutting the paper the right size for the gift box. You have to unwrap this huge roll of paper and position the gift and then measure the paper…..and you have to do all of this without ripping the paper. Plus I am not the most graceful person when it comes to wrapping gifts….so I am always struggling with the paper. Plus I have not mastered the art of cutting the paper smoothly with the scissors. The scissors are always getting caught or hung in the paper as I am trying to cut it and the result is a jagged, crooked piece of paper.

So needless to say, I was a little perturbed when he came up with this bright idea. I just looked at him and smiled and said: “No… I think we are doing good…you wrap yours and I will wrap mine.” He said: “You never like my ideas.” I just ignored that comment.

Finally, we struggled through wrapping the gifts. By the end, I was wrapping at a rate of 2 to 1 compared to him. But we got through it and there was only one gift left. The Playschool…. that we got for our 10 month old daughter. It was her only gift. (Let’s face it…she will not know i is Christmas…so we did not buy her a bunch of gifts that she is not going to play with anyway.) But it was her only gift and when we started to wrap gifts…we both decided that we would not wrap it…but rather..we would put it together and put it under the tree. So I go to open the box and I notice that TheDad fell asleep in his chair.

I said: “Babe wake up we are almost done…we just have to put this toy together and we will be done.” He opened his eyes and said: “I was not asleep.” I proceed to take all of the parts out of the box and I start to put together this toy by myself. All the while, every few minutes I am waking up TheDad. I shout: “Wake up…you are supposed to be helping me.” And he wakes up and says: ” I ain’t sleep.” And then I would say yes you are and you are supposed to be helping me. Well one time he woke up and said: “this chair is comfortable… come sit in my lap.” I was looking at him like…no this @#$!@# does not think he is getting any action!!! So I said… you are not getting any action if you don’t wake up and help me put this toy together!!!

Finally I got to step 4…but I could not finish step 4 because I was missing a screw. By this time I was yelling at TheDad about missing a screw and about falling asleep. He opened his eyes and said: “Srew….Did somebody say screw?” I repeated myself: “You are not getting any action until you help me with this toy and help me clean up this mess.” Finally, he got the message. He woke up and finished the remaining 5 steps …. falling asleep between each step. Once he was finished he said nonchalantly: “Here you go babe. We make a good team.” And I am sitting there looking at him with disbelief.

We finally get the place cleaned up and TheDad sat back down into his chair. I sat down on his lap and he said: ” I knew you could not resist me.” I giggled and put my head on his chest….and then we both fell asleep in that chair!!!

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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