“I work on a college campus (an HBCU at that), and I’ve seen this pattern a million times: ” and…
“girl takes boy for granted, breaks his heart, boy uses that as an excuse to either A) go the homosexual route or B) go the thug/playa/pimp/misogynist route.”

What the hell have you been smoking??? You say you’ve seen young men who are obviously straight and heterosexual turn gay because they didn’t have success with a girlfirend???????

Hey - why don’t you wake up and come into the 21st century - somebody doesn’t become gay because they break up with a girl! People that are gay are gay and those that are straight (and go with girls and therefore have the opportunity to get dumped by girls) are just that: straight! You act like being Gay is a conscience decision a guy makes when he’s mad at women. With all the hate in the world why would any sane brother WANT TO BE GAY??? Obviosuly they are who they are and don’t just become gay on a whim like this so they can be hated by their families, friends, and strangers like you.

Your incredible ignorance makes me think you probably do work at a college (HBCU) but as the crazy old cafeteria lady!

You’re right…there’s no need to be judgmental.

The link helped me out a lot. Even though it’s wrong to flirt with someone and have no intentions to be with them, it’s also wrong to judge people as well. By me saying that women who have kids or are married should not flirt is just judgemental. I mean I really don’t know their situation. Before I get all judgemental and all, I should look a little closer at the person.

P.S. My niece loves the old me again!!!

I hate to tell you this, but what you described is not just a college phenomena. Unfortunately, it’s like that everywhere. You can read more about it under the BMWK article, “Flirting: Is it harmless or disrespectful?”

Here’s the link: http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2008/12/19/bmwk-anniversary-classic-flirting-is-it-harmless-or-disrespectful/

It’s good to hear from you again! Hope you had a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and a focused attitude towards your studies this semester!

With me being in college and all I’ve noticed that there’s a wide variety of women. The thing that I want to know is why aren’t women up front about their status? Some women are married, some have kids and some have boy-friends. Yet they flirt with men like their interested. In my opinion women in these categorys have no business flirting with men. Thus the guy who the woman are flirting with gets hurt.

Can we please be a little more up front with people?

What I learned is that instead of me trying to be a thug, I was really bringing myself down to her level. Thus making it harder to get over a girl/woman. As men, do we want to give up who we are to a woman who don’t appreciate us?

That’s just a thought to ponder on when you know you’ve been the best person you can be in a relationship.

You don’t have to be a thug.

Joe.

Joe, you get a standing ovation in my book. You have officially gone from a G to a Gent in one week flat. Congrats on responding to the ugly things of life in a mature manner. I think the new year brought a healthy change to your life.

Thanks for the update!

On New Years eve night instead of partying out with friends, I went to church. I gotta admit it feels good to be the old Joe again. I’m just trying to think postive instead of negative. And if a woman can’t accept a man like me for me, well it’s her lost not mine.

A maturer and wiser Joe.

Ummm, where to begin…oh, I know:

You are hearby banned from giving advice until you get your act together! She’s on him like a pit bull because he “seeks the company of women who admire him?” Can you sound any crazier?!? She’s on him like a pitbull because he’s a CHEATER! She won’t let him live it down because HE’S STILL CHEATING! Are you their couples therapist? If not, you only have his word to go on - and he’s already demonstrated his moral fiber to you.

If she’s that much of a witch then he can always divorce her. Unless of course, he is afraid of child support/alimony. And depending on where you live that alimony may be increased because of his infidelity. What a gem you’ve decided to lay down with. Your kids must be super proud.

You have children who look up to you - stop showing them how NOT to do things and find your self respect!