The Mirror: Whose Child is That?
My son just recently turned three years old, and I am amazed at his growth and development. Every time I think about how God entrusted me to raise a little replica of His image, I get emotional, because I truly don’t take it for granted that our son was given to us for us to present him back to the Lord after we have done everything in our power as parents to instill within him virtues and character that the Lord can use for His glory.
But enough of all that mushy stuff. Allow me to get down to the nitty gritty! The boy whines entirely too much! Tell him no, he whines. Tell him yes, but you’re going to have to wait, he whines. Tell him because he’s whining, the answer was yes, but now it’s no, he falls out! Fortunately for us, this behavior only manifests at home and at church (pray our strength in the Lord), but it’s detrimental to his behavioral development, and I know teachers aren’t going to put up with it once he starts school.
Nevertheless, there is a theory that we discussed in ministry class that piqued my interest. Prophetess Sheila, one of the instructors, has an 8 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. She stated that when we see our children acting up, and we are embarrassed or quick to get angry with them, we need to stop and check ourselves. They are only a reflection of who we as parents really are.
Our children remove the veneer of political correctness and etiquette when others observe our lives. They are the real deal holyfield, and during their toddler years, they only act out what they see before them. Their behavior may play out in a different and more childlike form, but they are mirrors of us nonetheless. We must ensure that we allow past issues to be broken within us so our children will not be doomed to fight battles we were either too cowardly or stubborn to face ourselves.
I’ve checked myself in several areas, and I find myself continuously running to the altar for the Lord to kill behavior in me that may have a detrimental affect on our son if he picks up what I’m presenting to him as acceptable behavior. Put on your mourning clothes, folks, and welcome to my funeral.
When I observed my son’s behavior, I went to the Lord in prayer (because a lot of times it takes divine intervention for me to be able to see the faults in myself…can I get a witness?) and asked Him to show me what I need to kill inside myself so my son won’t have to fight that battle or adopt that attitude in the future. Herein lie the roots behind the suicide mission I must embark upon daily:
- When I was growing up, I was labeled a nuisance because many times I wanted to help out, but I ended up getting in the way more than anything else. Instead of just moving out of the way, I often took it personal, and my feelings got hurt very easily. That explains the “I was just trying to help and you moved me out of the way” frequency of my son’s whine.
- I was big for my age, but when I was younger, I didn’t know how to differentiate between age and size. So my friends could come over and swing from the towel racks in the bathroom with no problems. I would do the same, and the entire bathroom wall would come tumbling down like Jericho. That explains the “How come they can do it and I can’t?”frequency of my son’s whine.
- I was also extremely strong when I was younger. Unfortunately, so was my husband, so we’ve got double trouble with our son. One time, when I was 4 years old, my brother and our male cousins wouldn’t let me play with them. I got so mad that I started crying and ran to my grandfather’s house. I yanked the screen door open as hard as I could and cried, “THEY WON’T LET ME PLAY WITH THEM!!!” Instead of the adults going out with belts in hand, they busted out laughing at me! It was only then that I realized the doggone screen door was in my hand, and as I gesticulated about what an injustice I was suffering, the door–still in my hand–was swinging around like a rag doll. This explains the “I’m too young to know my own strength, and I didn’t know that pushing that child twice my age would send him tumbling clear across the room” frequency of my son’s whine.
That only outlines what happened in my past. There are attitudes I adopted as a grown woman that could also reflect in my son’s attitude:
- As a military officer, when I needed someone to move, it meant NOW. I couldn’t afford to have a lot of patience for the people working for me to drag their feet. The potential was too great for someone’s life or career to be at stake. Translate that to my son, you have a recipe for the worst kind of impatience ever. At times I have to remind myself that I am the one giving the orders when it comes to my son! If I’m the Captain, he’s trying to act like the doggone 4 star general, and I constantly have to check that.
- When it came to getting my way, I had the tendency to be a spoiled little brat. It’s my way or the highway. When I got married and started understanding what the true meaning of submission was, I bucked against that and my husband constantly…ESPECIALLY when I was pregnant. Rebellion like that is in his blood, but the rod of correction (whether time out, corporal punishment or taking something away) will drive it out.
- I honestly don’t know where my son got this need to be the center of attention from…I’m going to blame that one on my husband. That’s my story, I’m sticking to it.
A good friend of mine as a 6 year old son. Every time he whines, cries and falls out, she walks off and asks whoever is in the vicinity, “Whose child is that?” I am blessed to say that whiny little boy is mine. He is a reflection of all I am, and a promise of all the name he carries is to become. My ceiling will be his floor, but I’ve got to commit to killing inside me what could hold him back.
God bless!
~ Harriet
Harriet is a hilariously joyful married woman who resides in northeast Louisiana with her husband who is a restaurant manager. She works for a local University and along with her husband is the proud parent of a 3 year old son and a 10 year old stepson (who lives in NC).
Add a comment
©2011 BlackandMarriedWithKids.com - All Rights Reserved - Tyler New Media, Inc.
Site developed by: ABlackWebDesign
Comments (16)