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Do You Breastfeed in Public?

Parenting

by  |  on January 12th, 2009  |  30 comments

This one is a simple question. Do you breastfeed in public? I’m not necesarrily talking about hiding your baby under a blanket and no one having a clue as to what you are doing. I’m talking about whipping it out front and center and not giving a care who knows cause baby gotta eat!

After reading Tara Pringle Jefferson’s article that is up today and also seeing this article last week about the big Facebook uproar over them banning breastfeeding pics this came to mind. It also reminded me of an incident a year or two ago when I was at work on my lunch break. It was warm outside and as me and a coworker walked past a restaurant that had semi-outside seating there was a woman sitting at the seat right next to the glass window on this busy metropolitan street and bam… she whipped it out for the world to see. And I’m sure everyone that walked past that window got a good look at her by the way she was positioned to the sidewalk.

I don’t have a problem with feeding in public but can you cover up some and make it a semi-private event? My coworker said he experienced a similar thing on a subway train before. No cover up or nothing.

BMWK am I wrong for thinking there should be a blanket, shirt or something to cover up a breastfeeding? Do black women whip it out like this in public also? Let me know.


About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.



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Comments (30)

  1. TheMom Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I am just blushing looking at that picture. I never breastfed in public (that I can recall.) But I don't mind as long as it is done tastefully. If the mother has something draped over her so that you can not see her, I really don't see what the problem is. TheMoms last blog post..Voletta Wallace (Biggie’s Mom) Interview With Essence
  2. West Xylophone Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    About a hundred years ago White male doctors decided that women were icky. Babies got born in hospitals, breasts were not used for nursing. Mama, were they wrong. Nursing a baby's gotta be the most human thing we can do. I have no problem with mothers being human in public. :)
  3. Harriet Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I'm not going to be able to do it. I guess for the same reason I don't wear blouses that expose my midriff or pants that call attention to my ba-donkey-donk. LOL It's my personal preference, but all those parts don't belong to just me...they also belong to my husband, and I don't think he'd be very appreciative of me making them a public spectacle like that.
  4. Nicole Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I'm all for breastfeeding, but not in public with no cover. I think that's just a lil too much. I plan on breastfeeding my baby but I'll take some bottles when I go out. I live outside Seattle, and around here they've even started putting little signs in the front window of stores letting woman know that it's okay to breast feed without covering up in the store.
  5. Jonesi Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I am totally against full exposure. It's just unnecessary and unfortunate for those that don't want to see it. It's in the same category as PDA to me...there is a time and place for everything....and it's better done in private. I really get bothered when some woman feels the need to flash me while attempting to feed her child. It's not about women being "icky", it's about respect and I really am not interested in seeing random breast while I'm out and about :-) And on another note...I don't have children but I was around when my mother breast fed my sisters (and eventually had to resort to the brest pump) but is there a law about the appropriate age to discontinue this process? I mean, I've seen woman feeding big, grown talking babies and that just doens't seem...um...appropriate.
  6. Tara Pringle Jefferson Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    @Jonesi - Last year I watched a British documentary about breastfeeding moms who believe in EXTENDED BREASTFEEDING. Like, these kids were 8 and 9 years old, still fussing because they wanted Mommy's boob! I wish I still had the link because it was the weirdest thing I ever saw. Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..9 Things Every Young Mom Must Do Before She Turns 30
  7. Jonesi Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    Hey Tara!!! I think that is very very suspect lol...8 and 9?!? WTH? I saw a kid that was like 4 or 5 and that creeped me out...8 or 9...there def needs to be a law against that....and um yea please spare me the link. I can't even watch anything like that....
  8. Tara Pringle Jefferson Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    @Jonesi - YES! I think I was seriously scarred for life after watching that. The mom wasn't even allowed to wear a bra, because her daughters would go ballistic! Even her husband got in on the action and had a little taste every once in a while. It was like a car wreck, I couldn't look away! Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..9 Things Every Young Mom Must Do Before She Turns 30
  9. LaKeysha Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I think its agreed that breastfeeding is the best nutrition for the baby but I also agree that women should be modest when doing this. Lets face it, breasts are for feeding and for pleasure. (If you're Christian look in the Song of Solomon and you will see where a woman's breast are also for her and her husbands pleasure). They are accepted as private parts in America and I think that they should be covered as such. Because even though a mother may think nothing of it, the sight may tempting/distracting someone else whose not looking because its such a wholesome nurturing sight. I have friends who are still breastfeeding and I would not be comfortable with them just whipping it out when my husbands around.
  10. Anna Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I don't have a problem with it. I did it and it should be covered up to not freak out others. About the mother nursing her kid at 8 or 9, it was on 20/20 a few weeks ago it was pathatic to me. The mother was nursing a kid who could barely lie across the love seat because he was so big. There should be a cut off limit for nursing. You can't say when the kids cuts a tooth because kids cut teeth at 4 months. I have a girlfriend who nursed her kids past age 2. I was done at 12 months. The older kids in the story must of caught hell when they went back to school. It is not normal to nurse grown kids. If they are potty trained they don't need the boob. If the mother finds the need to continue breast milk for the nutrition, express it and put it in a "sippy cup".
  11. Ms Miko Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    When I was breastfeeding my daugther, I would never whip it out in public, but I did breast feed her in public, I always wore those shawl thingys, those are the best for breasfeeding in public and when I was home I used a blanket, for one my son was 13 when my daughter was born, and also I didn't want her to get use to feeding out in the open and have a fit on me in the mall when she was under the shawl.
  12. doris Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    The breast is a lovely creation from God, designed for the nourshiment of our children, how ever too many women use it as a way to bring attention to themselves. Why can't a woman use the breast to bond and nourish her child in a peaceful and private way. Today women want to breastfeed at the food court. Unfortunately it's t double paradox. All the breast augmentation ectera is not about the bonding between mother and child. Today the breast are used to further careers and promote porn, so when men and small children see women publicly breatfeeding they don't know what it's really about and as long as women let themselves and their breast be exploited the confusion and stigama of showing your breast will remain.
  13. Juan T. B Monday - 12 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I'll be forty this year and my wonderful wife insist on breastfeeding in public or In private but It will be don with taste and respect. It's the best thing I've witness a healthy women nurtur the future leaders. Mind body an soul. Do your thing ladies.
  14. AChamp Tuesday - 13 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    The pic ALONE made me pause. I remember nursing my daughter in a Chinese restaurant with a blanket over both of us, and the folks at the next table STILL asked the waitress to tell me to nurse her in the BATHROOM! I told her to tell them that THEY don't eat in the restroom, while should my BABY?!?!?!?! There is STILL a doulble standard in this country. I can see butt "cleavage", celebrities frontal nether-regions, navels, back tattoos, and bottom breast cleavage, but the mere THOUGHT that a woman next to you might be nursing her child and all H3!! breaks loose! No nipples should not be in public or butt "cleavage" either!?!
  15. Jonesti Tuesday - 13 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    @AChamp - Ha great point! Can't even argue against this one. I guess for me it's the intimate act of breast feeding that I don't want to witness. But I also don't want to see people kissing in public either OR butt cleavage haha...if I was at a restaurant and the mother covered herself I would be fine but some of these renegade breatsfeeders just whip it out and I'm like WTH...lady what are you thinking?!?
  16. Harriet Tuesday - 13 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I treated breastfeeding like I treated taking a dump...if I have no other choice, I'll do it in public (with a blanket covering me). Otherwise, I'd rather be in the comfort of my own home, in a rocking chair or on the bed. I even got to the point where I got my son used to the bottle, so if he got hungry, I'd go to the restroom, manually express some milk into a bottle, and give it to him like that. On another note, a woman's capability to provide food for her small child according to his/her appetite is amazing to me!
  17. Dee Wednesday - 14 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I have breastfed all three of my children in public. On airplanes, subways, islands, at a football game, wherever. I had one negative response in that entire time. The needs of my baby were and are more important to me than the comfort of those who find it offensive. And I found most people were accommodating and helpful wherever they could be. If the mama is comfortable, then I'm comfortable with whatever she's doing. I also extended nursed all three of mine. I personally felt that trying to hide nursing made me feel more stressed out and called more attention to us. I wasn't trying to give folks a show, but I certainly wasn't going to pretend the milk was coming from some secret compartment somewhere. A child eating and being fed is certainly not comparable to "taking a dump". Dees last blog post..Hi blog!
  18. Harriet Wednesday - 14 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    Wooo-sah @ Dee Hey, if you like it, I love it. Certainly I was not saying that defecation was synonymous to breastfeeding; however, I understand why you would read it that way after taking another look at my comment. I simply meant that there are some things I prefer to do at home...defecating and breastfeeding are included in those sacred activities to me. As long as your husband and child are cool with it, do what you like. As for me, I prefer a little more anonymity and discretion. Neither of us are wrong...we just have different individual preferences. And to be a tad bit more rugged than I was in the "taking a dump" comment, my husband has papers on me, just like I have papers on him. These breasts don't just belong to me, they belong to him as well. As such, if he's not cool with me baring them in public, then I'm going to respect that. Whether he was cool with it or not, I just wasn't doing it, but that's my thing. It doesn't have to be yours. Feed on, Dee...feed on. LOL!
  19. Dee Wednesday - 14 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    Woo-sah...hehehe. I understand what you mean. You're not comfortable conducting intimate activities out in public. Nothing wrong with that. Like I said, if the mom and baby are comfortable, so am I. Dees last blog post..Hi blog!
  20. AChamp Wednesday - 14 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    Why is it that people always want to tell you when to stop nursing your child? IT'S NOT THEIR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO tired of family members and friends trying to tell me that my children have teeth, so I should stop OR they are crawling, so I should stop OR they are walking so I should stop OR they are talking, so I should stop. I want to tell them, "NOOOOOOOOO, YOU SHOULD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Just wanted to rant. We are planning our next child, and I want to prepare myself for the onset of criticisms BEFORE they even start. Wait, why is it that others want to tell you how many children to have? Since when do working adults need the uninvited input of others about reproductive matters? Just wondering......
  21. Harriet Wednesday - 14 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    @ AChamp, Looks like you need a "woo-sah," too! ROFL I've learned to chew the meat and spit the bones out. Most of the time, people mean well, even though they're nosy and small minded enough to think that what works for them would work for EVERYONE. Although it takes strong community and solidarity to raise our children these days, some people find it difficult to differentiate between trying to be helpful and being too intrusive. I just draw the line when people's tones go from being helpful to being judgmental.
  22. Sasha Wednesday - 14 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I think breast feeding is a beautiful, sacred, incredible gift of God, and I always feel blessed when I happen upon it in public. It somehow washes me with a spiritual cleansing, of sorts, and leaves me with an amazed, astonished inner smile, as I reflect how beautiful the bond is between a mother and her child. (I also am left feeling the same way when I see a dad taking care of his child, or murmuring lovingly to them when they don't think anyone is watching...) I also think that anything and everything should be done with respect; respect to yourself, respect to your mate, your environment, and those around you. If you don't want to breastfeed in public, don't do it, if you don't want to see it, why not just look away instead of pushing for laws that restrict something that is a beautiful, natural thing. God bless all of the mothers, whether they breastfeed in public or choose not to.
  23. Jonesi Wednesday - 14 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    @AChamp - I am just interested in why you choose to breastfeed for so long? Just a question NOT a judgment. I don't have children yet so I am interested....As stated before I have very strong opinions about breadfeeding babies that are no longer babies...so I am open to another perspective from someone who is actually doing it :-)
  24. AChamp Wednesday - 14 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    Well, I nursed both for 1 year and 6 months (almost to the day). At one year, neither they nor I was ready to stop. My daughter suffered from eczema (a form of allergies). The doctor said that I was actually doing the best thing for her by continuing. Also nursing helps children to strengthen their jaw muscles, thus, my children speak drastically more clearly than others where I live (the Mississippi Delta). People ALWAYS ask, "Where you guys from?" Your children sound SO intelligent!" (My daughter just turned 6 and my son, 3). Also, longer you nurse them, the more immunity they get from you. As sickly as I was as a child, I did not want my children to suffer through that....the INSANE allergies, hayfever, asthma, chronic bronchitis, .....and on and on. Added bonus, I am not proud of this, but I didnt work out or go on a diet. However, I got to eat MORE (2500 calories a day!)and lost ALL the weight (plus some) with each baby! Now, that's a LAZY diet for you. Nursing protects against heart disease, breast cancer, high blood pressure, drastic hormones, ovulation (YEAH ME!), depression, and certain female cancers. Pediatricians usually recommend nursing longer than a year anyway for as long as both parties are happy with it. Go to LeLeche League International; this website will list all benefits. Oh yeah, have you guys read that breastfeed babies are better behaved? I can vouch for that one...:) Happy Nursing!
  25. Tara Pringle Jefferson Wednesday - 14 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    @AChamp - I'm glad you were able to lose weight while breastfeeding. I found it to be quite the opposite! My son (who would nurse for 40 minutes every hour and a half) drained me. I kept eating because I felt like I was never getting full. It was insane! I could kick the person who told me I would lose weight more easily if I breastfed my babies. But I'm glad I did it anyway. Tara http://theyoungmommylife.com Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..Fat, not pregnant
  26. Arlice Nichole Wednesday - 14 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    I breastfeed in public. When you're breastfeeding and you're out and about, you have no choice. You could do bottles but what about engorgment? Sometimes those breast pads soak shortly after putting them on, and you don't feel it until it's too late. So it's easier on me to breastfeed wherever, whenever. I always make sure that I'm fully covered. I will say that I do feel a bit uncomfortable because I'm always thinking someone is watching and thinks it's disgusting. But that does not stop me. Arlice Nicholes last blog post..Today's Top Tip: Careful What You Throw Away
  27. Marcus Friday - 16 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    LOL. This is holarious. I'm going to sound ignorant saying this, but I swear everytime I see a mom breastfeeding, I'm like trying to look away. It's almost like softcore porn. Like look lady! Put those things away, do that at home! lol I'm sorry, it's a crazy world, and though this may be a natural thing, theres just too many creepy people in this world to just breast feed out in the open like that.
  28. blackrose Tuesday - 27 / 01 / 2009 Reply
    well my daughter is four months and during this last month i have been really going out in public. i breastfeed my daughter whenever she is hungry, i just make sure that i am coverd properly and most of the time my husband is with me when i go out, but if somebody is staring at me i well ask them do they need any assisstances because why neclect you child because some imature people may not like it? i am very comfortable with feeding my baby anywhere. oakland ca
  29. alexis Thursday - 23 / 04 / 2009 Reply
    I believe if you feel comfortable about doing it fully exposed in public that more power to you. When I first had my daughter I was really scared to go out in public alone because I was breastfeeding her. When I finally couldn't drag my husband with me everywhere I had no choice. At first I only had a receiving blanket then i purchased a breastfeeding cloth. My daughter is four months now and there isn't a place I haven't breastfeed her. I tried bottles but she wouldn't drink the whole bottle in public and want the breast. I finally said forget it. I try to conceil myself as best as I can. I've breastfeed in stores, malls and on the train. If she can't wait why should I have to. It's sad that some people feel uncomfortable with our decision to breastfeed. After all we went through the nine months, gained the weight and went into lador. You'd think people would give us a break. Now that my daughter is older she wants to see everything so sometimes a nipple is flashed but you know what I don't care. No one shouldn't be looking that hard if they saw.