The Two Most Powerful Words In Your Relationship
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter founder of Life Editing and the Black Wives’ Club. Administrator for Stilldatingmyspouse.com
I know what you’re thinking; you’ve narrowed them down to love and honesty or respect and trust. True, those are all very necessary in building a healthy relationship. But, there are a couple of other words that we take for granted or just simply ignore that are very powerful and can honestly make or break your relationship. Intentions and Motives. Everything we do and say stem from some type of motive or another. What most of us don’t realize is that we have the ultimate control over how we respond and what actions we take based on those motives. It’s about making the right decision at the right time, every time.
Sometimes we really want to feed those negative intentions; we want to hurt because we feel we’ve been purposely wronged. We feel that our mate’s intentions and motives were to really hurt us. Here’s what is interesting about that, when you really think about it, you just may come to the conclusion that their motives weren’t malicious at all. And even if they were, we can easily turn things around by doing the right thing. If both partners in a relationship paid more attention to their own intentions and motives our marriages could really grow beyond pettiness. Let’s stop pretending that we can’t do better or be better. Like we don’t have power over our choices. If you desire to upset, disturb, wound or destroy your spouse’s spirit or their ego, then your actions will align with that motive. But, what if instead, your plan of action was to please, satisfy, bring joy and peace, then you would use your words to reflect that intention.
My suggestion is that before we lash out or say something that will cause irreparable damage, always quickly review your intentions. Ask yourself “what is my primary purpose for using the words I’m about to use in the tone I’m about to use them?” If your response is not favorable, consider taking a different approach. By choosing peace and joy for your marriage, every action you take will be motivated by that choice. Remember, what you don’t do sometimes is more important than what you do.
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