This is Who I Am…I’m Not Going To Ever Change!
There was a funny dialog between TheDad and another reader a few weeks ago on BMWK. TheDad jokingly discussed what he did while his wife was away in terms of taking care of the kids and cleaning up. On BMWK TV, he proceeded to put the baby in a toolbox for a bed and feed the baby (a doll, by the way) barbeque flavored fritos. I thought the video was hilarious, but one particular reader did not. Here is how the conversation went:
She said:
“Was that supposed to be funny? Not to be a kill joy but shouldn’t dudes want to make their wives lives easier? I know Men are from Mars but how about a video that really promotes the meaning of marriage which is partnership — not the man trying to be barely engaged. I’m disappointed…”
Then, TheDad said:
“It was just a joke. Loosen up and take it easy. Being married or a man doesn’t mean you can’t joke right? If someone watches and takes it seriously they have bigger problems than something that can be handled in a web video.”
This last comment gave me pause, though. She came back and said:
“I still don’t think it’s funny. My hubbie always says I’m too serious but oh well, that’s how I roll and we both love it. Keep on keeping on!”
Wow…
This led me to ponder how many times I’ve said, “This is who I am…I’m not going to ever change! If you don’t like it, then whatever,” to my husband. Now, true indeed, there are some things that I am not going to change about myself. I’m going to serve Christ, be faithful, use integrity in my communication and fulfill my vows until my casket drops. There is no compromise on those points.
Yet there were some parts of my personality that I had to compromise in order to be a person that my husband was able to live with. I had to stop taking issues so seriously, like the young lady in the above dialog did. There’s nothing wrong with a sense of humor, and I would posit that it is a prerequisite to getting married. You have to be able to laugh at yourself…I can guarantee your spouse does!
I also had to chill with the “my way or the highway” attitude. Yes, I was an authority figure outside my home, but the drill sergeant thing rarely worked when I got home. I had to learn how to realize that just because things are not done my way doesn’t mean they are wrong…they are just different. I load the dishwasher a certain way that makes it easier for me to put the dishes away. My husband doesn’t load it my way, but wonder of wonders, the dishes still get clean!
The young lady commenting expressed that her husband always said she takes too many things seriously, yet in the same sentence, she stated that they both loved it. I would beg to differ. If he always said it, then chances are, it bothers him. Otherwise he wouldn’t have to always say it.
Here’s the bottom line. When we are married, we change. There are immature characteristics that have to die in order for our marriages to live. We don’t have to change the crux of our personalities, but there are some attitudes we must let go of in order to live, laugh with and love one another.
What about you, BMWK? What kinds of attitudes did you let go of in order to make your marriage more peaceful and fun? Was it difficult, or was it just a maturing process? Tell us about it!
God bless!
~ Harriet
Harriet is a hilariously joyful married woman who resides in northeast Louisiana with her husband who is a restaurant manager. She works for a local University and along with her husband is the proud parent of a 3 year old son and a 10 year old stepson (who lives in NC).
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