Would You Give a Donation To Octuplet Mom Nadya Suleman?

On the Web

by Lamar Tyler | on February 12th, 2009 | 82 comments

New Octuplet mommy Angelina Jolie Nadya Suleman has started her own website Thenadyasulemanfamily.com. On the site you have the ability to donate funds to the mother of 14. Here’s some info from CNN:

The Web site features pictures of a rainbow, child’s blocks and all eight of Suleman’s newborns. Also prominently displayed on the Web site is a prompt for visitors to make a donation, noting that the “proud mother of 14″ accepts Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover and PayPal.

Suleman, 33, had the octuplets through fertility treatments, despite already having six young children and no clear source of income.

In recent television interviews, Suleman has rejected suggestions that she might not be able to care adequately for all 14 of her children.

Suleman’s publicist did say that Suleman gets $490 every month in food stamps.

For more info click here and read the full story over at CNN. For those of you that have been around the site for a while you may remember comments from our favorite Canadian Media Kemi. Well Kemi is actually the PR rep for the first set of Octuplets, the Chukwu family. If you get tired of this foolishness you can check out the original Octuplets here.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

Harriet

you make some powerful points, mr. scott.

welcome to the site, by the way!
http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com TheDad

@Michael Scott- Welcome to the site. I personally wouldn’t donate to her but I do like your reasoning and explanations for doing so.
Dana

I am sitting here holding my nine month old and thinking how nice it would be to have the buttload of money nadya has, oh wait, no, she is using MY money to raise those kids. Every time my little ones need clothes and food I will surely thank this Nadya bitch for taking it out of their mouths. Don’t we have enough drags on society? Do we really need 8 more mouths to feed? If I wanted to feed 8 more mouths I would have 8 more kids. Irresponsible, selfish brat.

This is actually a very silly comment. The notion that you are taking care of Nadya Suleman’s children is absurd. Not one more penny of your money will be taken to may for Nadya’s children. Rather than think of her when your 9 months old needs something, I suggest you think of Isreal, a welfare state that gets a cool 10,000,000 a day from the United States.

Taxpayer money goes to pay for a lot of things- the least of which is Nadya Suleman’s 14 children.
Anna

Michael, your points are valid but isn’t our responsibility as married ppl/and or parents to update our financial portfolio(life insurance IRA 401K), each year accordingly with our money making potiential/future earnings if we live to be a certain age or die at a certain age? Nayda without thought IMO chose to have not just one child but 14 without a plan or was her plan to dupe the system and the sympathy of others. None of the kids were not conceived out of unprotected intercourse. She said that she has been celibate for 8 yrs. and will continue to be for the next 18 yrs. Nadya was not 12 when she had her first set of kids. She would have been over 25. I am the most emphathic person one will meet. I can put myself in someone shoes and feel their pain/grief and despair. I feel all of this for her but by my not donating to her fund does not change who I am. She is on tv and they keep saying she is not getting paid. Maybe the checks are not in her hand but in a trust for the kids. Noone with that many kids is not doing it for free, or not wanting some kind of attention. She just gave birth to 8 kids, and out in the rain trying to dodge tv cameras with a thin jacket on. She said that she does not want a reality show, “that would be exploiting her kids”, she also said that she is not a celebrity and she did not get plastic surgery to look like Angie and she is not a fan of any celebrity. She stated that she did not have a car, to correct her it is not a car but a minivan, ok it’s not a car that I see her driving. Is it her parents vehicle, a donated vehicle for all of the family to use before she had the last set of babies? Don’t think that she is not getting dollars donated. I am just not going to be one of the ppl to donate. I guess when you have a person who gets state money i. e. food stamps, medical insurance paid by the ppl of the state she does not consider that welfare. She gets almost 500 dollars a week in food stamps. Michael, if we donate to her fund will it bail out the state she lives in, will she use the money to pay back the state for the hospital bills or the food stamps and the money her first 6 kids have already received or think about the hospital bills sitll building up with the babies still in the hospital. I am only asking a question and not trying to run you away from this room. I guess my question is, do you think she deserves the donated money to pay back or to fatten her pockets or does it not matter at all because she is in a crisis?
Anonymous

H— NO!!!!!
Why should I no why should anyone be willing to help someone who is stupid to have have that many babys. You had 6 can’t provide for them living in a 3 bedroom house then your going to have plastic surgery stop thinking about yourself and think about the well being of the children. If you have the money for something like that then you have the money to provide for your 14 babies!!!!!!
Bret

Donate? No, she can use someone elses money to pay her plastic surgury bills. I don’t want to be responsible for those lips getting paid off while her kids are living off of food stamps.
Ron

OK Miss Chili and Wendy, I am a single parent, I have 2 small children and work my butt off for 7.90 an hour. Now I have tried to get help and have been turned down numerous of times. I DO PAY TAXES!!!! And no it isn’t there for people who need the help the most. So I disagree with you both. The babies are here and there is nothing else that can be done about that. I hope they are as healty as oxes, but no I don’t believe that she should have had so many more, when she knew that her income was not capable of properly taking care of them. I would like to see her prove me and everyone else wrong.
http://www.lovetospare.com Michael Scott

Hi Anna,

I should explain that I have lots of experience not caring about the mess other people get themselves into – that’s just not the type of experience I want for myself now. For me, it was much easier to give a small donation than to come up with reasons why I wouldn’t. Even if my $15 donation is misused, (for the reasons provided in my previous comment) it will have been worth the risk to me.
Mimi

Hope it’s okay that I’m a white person posting on your blog. You have a very nice website.

I agree with Jonesi. If this were a black woman with 6 young children at home then having 8 more, we would not see the attention that’s focused on Na-dummy-ya. A black woman wouldn’t get the attention of a PR firm and an instant web-site that accepts Pay-Pal and all other forms of payment. Geez!

I see all the Christians weighing in here. Not sure of the difference between a ‘judgement’ and an ‘opinion’. Last I checked, I’m still allowed to have an opinion – and mine is that she’s a selfish person and she makes me angry. (What I really think is that she is stupid, ignorant and a moron – but that sounds more judgemental doesn’t it?). I’m angry that she’s looking for a handout – but when she had extra money, she felt it best to spend it plumping up her lips, than helping someone in need.

So, I’ll will do unto her as she did onto others…NOTHING
Harriet

@ mimi,

welcome to the site! the title of it is only indicative of the demographic that created it, but it is most definitely all inclusive, as you will find from the versatility of the articles located here.

thanks for your input…i definitely agree with you. i am a Christian, and i don’t see a problem with expressing thoughts about certain situations. this one definitely garnered a lot of discussion. although those who answered in the affirmative gave good reasons as to why they would donate, my answer remains the same. NO, i would not donate to her.

i just think this is a publicity stunt gone terribly wrong. i really hate that 14 innocent lives were put on display so distastefully, though.
Mac

Sad, I hope the kidz will be alright
Jonesi

@MiMi…I can’t get past how bias this entire circus is. Let this have been Shaquanna from Brooklyn and the media would have blamed her for the real estate callapse and said SHE is the reason we need this bailout…I am so over the American media…and this is exactly why….this bs really does make me angry…as for Nadya…I’m sure she has enough to worry about because she is responsible for 14 children and could care less what we think because milking the public is her only concern right about now.
Michelle

So here I stumbled upon this “website” by mistake. I love to see that you blacks are allowed to have a “blacks only” website, when you know damn well that if there was a “whites only ” website you would have all the Civil Rights activists all over it! That being said, I will give my opinion about this story. Funny how Jonesi, you pointed out that she is white. Too bad you went jumping to conclusions about this woman. In fact she is NOT white. Her Mother is Mexican and her father is Russian. So is that what you consider white?? Her mothers last name is Gonzales. Oh, but just you comment is enough to back up what I think. You people have now lost your right to complain about race. You have the president now. Any black person can be just like him. But still I see a lot of you are still so quick to play the race card! This woman Ms. Suleman is trashy. Nobody should give her money. She made her bed, now she should sleep in it. Why is it MY problem now??? I am responsible, I pay for my children. Why should I pay for hers? Please keep this in mind: IF YOU CAN’T FEED THEM, DON’T BREED THEM!!!!!!!!!!
Michelle

Please don’t comment back that I am a racist, as you would be incorrect! In fact I am not a racist. I believe that everyone needs to pull their own weight in this country. We are all very blessed to be here. When you have bums that take and take and take, that’s what brings down an economy. Could you imagine if everyone thought like Ms. Suleman? Bu in fact so many do. It really has nothing to do with race, but it does have to do with class, and the way you present yourself. Ms. Suleman has been and will be taking your hard earned money for the next 18 years. Does that sit well with you? EVERYONE the is born in this country has the same potential! People are just lazy and don’t believe in birth control, this crosses all races! This lady should not have even one child, as she seems mentally unfit to be a parent!!!
King James

Michelle, … thanks for sharing… Made me smile too.
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com TheDad

OK, if one more clown comes on this website saying it’s blacks only I’m gonna go off. Our regular readers know that I normally keep a low profile but my patience is starting to wear thin. When you find where the site says it’s black only let me know.

Guess what I am… Black and married with kids so that’s the name of the site when I turn white I’ll change the name and send you a memo. I would further explain the need for a site like this that allows folks who are BMWK to share our common experiences and for anyone else to become a part of our community whether you’re black or white, married or single and have one child or octuplets, but something deep down inside tells me you wouldn’t understand so I won’t waste my time or my typing skills.

TheDads last blog post..Sick To My Stomach – Botched Abortion
Michelle

I would try to understand but you also have to understand where I am comming from. Do you seriously think that if I started a website called “White and Married With Kids”, that people wouldn’t be all over it? I just don’t understand that for so many years now, since the horrible days of the slaves, I feel as though black people feel like we owe them something. That is my opionion, you do not have to like it. I think what happened was a horrific, embarassing part of history. Something that should have NEVER happened and I understand why people are still upset. But there comes a point that you just have to move on. Most of all, people call us names and I am thrown into a catergory in which I have never belonged. I did not do any of these horrific acts, so why do I owe anything to anyone? Although this is way off the topic of Ms. Suleman, it does all tie in. I don’t care if your black, white, yellow,brown, this lady is why people call Americans stupid! Lazy people should have no rights at all! If she wanted 14 children she should have got an education and a husband to help her at times when just herself is not going to be good enough! I want to know why she felt comfortable enough to do this. She had to have known she could never make enough money to support them. Even her own mother said that she hasn’t ever paid rent or helped with the food. Now the news has said that her home is in default with no mortgage paid since April ’08. Now Obama is going to “bail her out”???? Whats in it for all of the people that made sure they could afford a family and a house before getting pregnant or signing mortgage paperwork.
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com TheDad

I don’t know about black people in general but nobody owes me anything and I’ve never taken a handout from anybody. That’s exactly why I started this site. Mainstream parenting and relationship blogs don’t cover some of the stories or articles that directly speak to me so instead of standing there complaining about it I made my own site with my wife.

Media always talks about how black people don’t get married so I made my own site for all of the black folks that are married who know that’s not the case. Why beg someone else to include you on their site when you can make your own?

My questions is have you voiced displeasure with Telemundo and Univision for providing programming aimed at the latino and hispanic cultures? They should be more inclusive right?

Have you written to the publishers of the Korean newspapers and magazines and told them their pubications weren’t necessary?

Do you go to gay and lesbian websites and give them the same advice that no one owes them anything and their site is excluding heterosexuals?

Minorities don’t make up the dominant culture or race in the United States hence the clasification of minorities. Media, major websites and other outlets cater to the largest group of people who in this country happen to be white. I don’t take offense with that, that’s just the way it is. As long as that’s the case there will be a need for sites like mine and outlets like those mentioned above where people can find the information that is important in their cultural community.

TheDads last blog post..Sick To My Stomach – Botched Abortion
BLACK & GIFTED

I must say that ” The Dad ” made some very valid points and I am very interested in hearing Michelle’s response. Also I would like to add a few items. Number one when people of the ” Caucasian Persuasion ” say ” YOU PEOPLE ” when referring to African Americans it is very offensive. Number two Michelle you stated earlier that if a website was name ” White and Married with Kids ” that people would be all over that. Well how about a TV show named ” Married with Children ” does that sound familiar. Seems you already had your time to shine a long time of ago but that is the norm so of course nobody complained. If my memory serves me right don’t remember seeing to many black faces on that show. Also if a show , website , or magazine is not named Black, Latin, Asian or etc., is is always a “White” venue. So it is somewhat strange to hear this type of complaint coming from a group that dominates the Web, Airwaves, and TV. Everywhere you look are “White” images so I don’t see anything wrong with other groups identifying with their likeness and being excited and proud about it. Now to address your comment about ” You black people ” not having the right to complain about race anymore “. I would just like to say one has nothing to do with the other. First of all President Barack Obama was not elected into office as part of a Reparations Deal for Black Americans. He was elected by America because he is an intelligent, competent, diplomatic MAN that has a vision to fix the nation which agreed with a large majority of Americans ideals of all racial backgrounds. If all it took was the electing of a man from a certain racial group then I guess Caucasians should never, ever, ever complain being that the first 43 Presidents were from that group. Which it sounds like you were complaining that you thought the site was just for “Blacks Only” ( Hmmm something to think about. )

Please excuse my lengthy digression, but I felt that was important and neccessary…… those items needed to be addressed. Now as far as the subject at hand I feel I agree with a couple of other comments already stated. I believe as a mature adult you are responsible for your actions. If this woman has decided to play God and wants to have a litter she should be responsible and take care of her children. Because she already knew that she was not in a financial position to take care of more children, being she wasn’t taking care of her first six children. I feel like she is playing with the children’s lives just for attention and to gain her 5 minutes of fame. She comes across an unstable person that needs help and all we can do at this point is pray for the well being of the children. I agree with another comment made earlier that she doesn’t illustrate any type of responsible behavior and would probably just use the donations for further items for herself and continue to provide for the children through social services. Hopefully in the future this type of behavior will be illegal.

Peace

B&G
Michelle

Dear Black and Gifted,
Let me start that I apoligize for offending anyone for addressing any black person as “you black people”. Just so you know it was not intended to be hurtful, rather a bad combination of words. I apoligize.

Second, “Married With Children”…. That’s kinda funny because Al Bundy’s BEST FRIEND “Griffin” was black (The guy that worked at the shoe store) What about the Cosby show, A Team, Family Matters, The Jefferson’s,Different Strokes, A Different World,Richard Pryor Show,Good Times, Sanford and Son. With music, our culture is obsessed with hip hop and rap, for some reason it really isn’t the good stuff (The Roots, QTip, Common) that people are obsessed with. Rather people love the stuff that refers women as “bitchs” and tals about selling drugs, doing drugs, and killing people. So your comment about that is incorrect. My argument is that blacks worked so hard to be “equal”. Now it seems that blacks are the ones segragating themselves! Black people now have their own websites, magazines, you name it. And you say that you see “white images ” everywhere…. Where do you live? I live in Los Angeles and see billboards with black, white, mexican, and all other races. Go to GapKids.com and take a look at who won the “cute kids contest”.

There is no question that Obama is an intelligent man. I believe that his heart is in the right place, but his “bail out” is not going to work. People that bought their homes with no money down, with an A.R.M. should NOT be able to keep their houses if they are falling into foreclosure. What’s the incentive to pay your mortgage when the government will pay it for you? Subprime mortgages are the cause of this entire mess, now law abiding citizens like myself (and my children) will be payig for this mess for a long long time!! If a black man from my party (Rep) would have won, I would have been very happy to know that the black race has come such a long way to win that victory.

I just feel as though blacks are as equal as whites now but black people in some ways want to keep seperate from us. For instance, the whole New York Post thing, with the monkey. How many times was G.B. comparred to a monkey?? Google this: George Bush monkey. But why is that alright? You never saw anyone complain about that. The paridy was about congress, not Obama. A joke, but now all the Civil Right Activists are all over it.
Jonesi

Wow, blacks are equal as whites NOW?!? All because Obama, who happens to be an intelligent black man (according to a constitution written for and by your people) is President? BS! President Obama is one man who happens to be the leader of a country that still continues to suppress people of color. I, for one, hate discussing race because I live it. Because you have no idea what it is to live a “double life” (mistakeingly research W.E.B DuBois, “The Sould of Black Folk” while your at it), your comments are nothing more than affirmation that this country STILL has so much farther to go. Truth be told, Obama is not “OUR” savior but a testament that the blood and tears of the slaves that built this country were not in vain.

Oops Nadya isn’t white. So what…had she been black, the media’s coverage would STILL have been entirely different and in a much more negative manner. As stated before, anything without a label pretty much IS white. No need to state it.

So next time you buy “The Knot”, “Brides”, “Modern Bride”, “Elegant Bride”, hell even “Cosmo” be offended that you have an entire magazine that caters to YOU….without the label
Michelle

Jonesi,
Why do you point out the fact that everything is for the white people? You see, why are you trying to separate us from you? Why does it matter anymore? The coverage of Nadya is bad. Everyone has pointed out that she is a welfare collecting, unstable mental case, that is living off our (taxpayers) money. She is not fit to be a mother. With this case, we can only look at the facts, which would not change even if she were a black woman. The facts are this:
1. She’s in her early 30′s and has 14 kids
2. Her mortgage is behind $20,000 and she is going into foreclosure
3. She is not married
4. She collects over $500/ month in foodstamps
3. 3 out of her 14 kis recieve disability payments
How would these facts differ is she were black?
Jonesi

Do I need to remind you that you wandered unto this website and felt the need to voice how offended you were by the title…hmmm and in my book referring to “us” as You PEOPLE is pretty separatist language. I realize I’ve come across quite hostile, but really I’m just passionate about my opinions. I stand by everything I’ve said and maybe, hopefully you will continue to visit this site and become a productive, contributing member
Have a great day. I’m done for today…
Mimi

Yikes, sorry to envoke a race debate! Last year I spent 3 months in Hong Kong for work – real eye opener for this Cracker. I’m from Florida so I’m allowed to call myself a Cracker – the term originated from white men who herded/moved wild cattle across the state of Florida to the port of Tampa – all the while cracking their whips (just a little history there). Anyway, for the first time in my white life I felt what it’s like to be a minority. It was wierd to always be the ‘different’ one. Got back to U.S. and couldn’t believe how many white people there were! Dear God, we’re everywhere. Started to look around and realized how darn near everything is geared to white people! It’s just wrong.

When I was a kid we had a black maid, Maudy. Lord, I loved that woman like family. One day when we were learning about nationalities in school, I came home and asked her what her nationality was. I’ll never forget, she looked down and quietly said “I’m a Negro.” I told her that wasn’t right, she had to be from a place, a country. She insisted she wasn’t from a country, just that she was a negro! OMG – poor Maudy!

That was 40 years ago – but man, 40 years isn’t that long ago! How awful that Maudy didn’t feel validated enough by society to claim her ethnicity. Maudy died 20 years ago and I deeply wish that she was here to see the leaps that have been made!!

From my perspective, I didn’t “get it” until I was the minority. My personal opinion is that most white people don’t get it because GENERALLY we’ve been the majority. Maybe they’ve taken a vacation to Jamaica, so they think lived life among blacks. I hope you know what I mean – I know Jonesi gets it.

Anyway, look where we are today. Finally our country is moving forward. Maybe slowly, but still moving forward, where anybody can visit wonderful places like Black and Married With Kids! We’re allowed to see life from all sides (which I how I came to visit this site) or allowed to find it offensive. The great news is that if Michelle wants to, she CAN start a web-site with “White” in the title (though she may get negative feedback from a black person…oh, just like she is doing here). Really guys – how cool is this? SO many countries don’t have this freedom. YOU GO DAD!! Please don’t be discouraged and keep up your fantastic site. It’s a privledge to be granted access to wonderful places like yours. Keep the faith Dad, I think you rock!

p.s. Getting back on topic, Na-dum-ya is still trailer-park trash – just saw her and her puffy lips on ANOTHER magazine cover. We must not be donating enough since she is forced to do so many photo shoots!
No Name

No way Jose… She’s a devil… brought lives to the world to suffer…She needs to see a psychologist asap and DCF needs to step in to protect these innocent souls… plz. She has no rights to say anything that might suggest her care for the children because she would not care and might even endanger them… when she has to wake up from her million dollar babies dream, she might pass her anger and do harm to her babies since she has already started walking the road of insane when she made this plot for money making… and I hope she won’t get what she wanted because she spread a wrong message to motherhood. Mother is great because she gives unconditionally (not verbally like her, but in action), not trying to squeeze money out of it…
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com TheMom

I don’t think it would be wise for anyone to give her money. But if you want to give groceries or pampers or donate a van or pay for medical services for a certain period of time for those kids..then that would be great. As long as she has those kids, they will need help because something is not right about that woman. I hope social services monitors those kids closely.

TheMoms last blog post..Things People With Kids Like To Do: Live Black History
Michelle

Mimi, your from Florida…. of course their are white people everywhere. I’m from Los Angeles, where white people are the minority. We are minorities compared to Mexican’s. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, I’m married to one!!!!! Our close friends are froms Gainsville and they have told us how different it is down there. That is not how it is here.
Anna

I missed a heated debate. I guess that’s what happens when you step away from the computer.
She collects over $500/ month in foodstamps
~~~~~~~~
It has been reported that she gets that amount per week.
The question is: Is is for all kids or the first six kids and her while pregnant?
Yolanda

No I would not. I know it is not the children’s fault but if she cannot financially support them she should give them up for adoption. She was not thinking or behaving rationally when she decided to have the eggs implanted. She should have stopped long before the octuplets when she knew she had no means of supporting more than one or two. I am married and have 2 children and in this economy it is more than enough to take care of them. I pray for the children and for her sanity.
LaKeysha

People, People…
many of the statements on here made me so sad. How many of us would pass the test of consistantly smart decisions if our lives were held up to the spotlight? I may not agree with her surgeries in the past etc. and having a lot of kids but she is NOW a person in need.

I truly believe that when the Bible talks about “In as much as you have done unto the least of these you have done to me” (paraphrase) it is not talking about just the least who we think deserve it! There is no qualifier on how you become “the least” and you don’t get out of it if you think “the least” will mismanage the money.

And lets really be real here. There is NO way that she could have afforded her surgeries off of government checks! Period! And $500 in food stamps is not too much. I spend about 200 on my 3 person family.

Realize that we have a government where we have a safetynet for those in need. THis is a GOOD thing. The way we do this is through taxes and other government revenues. And guess what…we all benefit from them. We may not have found ourselves in a situation where we needed to use the free medical care (emergency rooms and clinics), or the section 8 housing, or even food stamps. But it is a necessary part of being responsible citizens.

If you don’t feel moved to do it, don’t give to her website, but dont hate. If you dont think the money will be well spent, send items (diapers, wipes, clothing etc.). She is being criticized for getting government assistance and also being criticized for trying to take care of her kids beyond the government assistance…

As a social worker I can tell you that more often then not kids are much better off in the home with their parents than in the system. If we’re talking about our hard-earned tax dollars, it is WAY more expensive to support 14 kids in the foster care system then it is to give the mom food stamps and a few hundred dollars a month.

And yes…in fertility treatments they do usually put in multiple fertilized eggs and it is only a rarity that you produce that many multiples.

Lets have a little mercy..and that doesnt mean you have to agree with her decisions.
Jennifer

It comes to two words, “Common Sense”. Ms. Suleman has to step up to the plate and be responsible. As for donating, it would have to be a trust account. I don’t want the money going for plastic surgery. She can do her nails we all approve that. lol. Being small minded is not good either here. She is responsible, we are not.
But we are her neighbors. She got $165,000 dollars for insurance malpractice. She did not give one dime to support her first six children. She give it to the doctor $100,000. and the rest went probably plastic surgery. She did not give her mother a dime to
support those first children. Something is not right about her.
I am sorry.
http://awomans-worth.blogspot.com Arlice Nichole

Sigh, yes. I must say, as soon as I saw those babies, she had me. She wins.

Arlice Nicholes last blog post..Today’s Top Tip: No Therapy In Retail Store Credit Cards