Women Gives Kidney To Fiance

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by Lamar Tyler | on February 16th, 2009 | 10 comments

From songs to poems to sayings on the side of coffee cups, everyone tries to define love in words.

But often, it’s the extraordinary actions we take in the name of love that really define it.

Liz Kelly’s fiance, Matt House, needed a kidney after he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.

In order to get him to the top of the donor list, Kelly signed up to donate hers. At first, she never dreamed she would actually be a match, but it turned out she was.

The Springfield, Massachusetts, couple (he’s 31, she’s 29) spoke with CNN’s Nicole Lapin about whether Kelly thought fate played a hand in finding him a donor match.

Another great story of regular foks doing great things for each other. What are your thoughs?

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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Comments (10)

TheDad Monday - 16 / 02 / 2009 Reply

I would have gotten married first. Am I wrong? lol
Harriet Monday - 16 / 02 / 2009 Reply

That's the first thing I thought when I saw the title of the article, TheDad. But then again, that's not always a guarantee, either. There was that doctor who sued his wife for the cost of the kidney he donated to her while they were still happily married. He was demanding that cost during the divorce proceedings. Sad. I pray it works out for them better than that doctor and his now ex-wife. LOL
NaturalOasis Tuesday - 17 / 02 / 2009 Reply

I am a 30 year old married female,mother of a 2 yr old son. I think when you are watching a loved one go thru the trails of trying to get better for their family while dealing with the harsh realties of the deminished physical strength that you are faced with something comes over you to want to help the situation. When my sister was placed on dialysis while 5 months pregnant I couldn't imagine what she must have been going thru but she was my younger sister (by 3 years). She ended up delivering her daughter at only 26 weeks. I immediately felt that if I were a match then I would do anything in my power to be certain that she got the kidney that she needed in order to see another day with her children. I must say that my husband wasn't thrilled about my choice and even tried to talk me out of it on numerous occasions but my mind was made up. I started my testing to see if I was a match in February of 2008 and we had the surgery on May 1, 2008 with no complications! Everyone always ask me how was it and I tell them that I went to sleep and woke up having known that I had done something for someone else but left me with the ultimate sense of pride! I am so proud that I was able to help my sisters quality of life for her and her children. We as black people need to get rid of all of the excuses that we carry in reference to why we won't donate our organs. If I die, why wouldn't I want someone else to continue on with an increased quality of life? There is no religion that states specifically that donating an organ upon your death is forbidden! If so please bring it to my attention. Alot of people hide behind religion but are not religious in respect to other parts of their life. I would just like to remind everone that African Americans/Blacks are the hardest organs to locate due to lack of donors. We really need to educate ourselves on organ donation and consider doing to your local Motor Vehicles Administration and signing up to be a donor!
TheDad Tuesday - 17 / 02 / 2009 Reply

@NaturalOasis - bravo to you for what you did. I actually changed my organ donor status after watching the movie John Q back when that came out believe it or not. It opened my eyes to some things I hadn't really thought about.
Harriet Tuesday - 17 / 02 / 2009 Reply

@ natural I agree, most definitely, and I salute you for what you did for your sister. However, I think there's a huge difference between a sister and a fiance. I don't know what the tenor of their relationship is, but I salute the young lady that donated her kidney, because there is no formal commitment without the actual piece of paper in the United States. Reading about what she did makes me marvel...I'm about to take it to church...about what Christ did for all of us. He DIED 1,977 years before I got here so I could enjoy the freedom and life that His sacrifice paid for. That's serious business. To see another human being do the same is both mind boggling and admirable.
Michael Scott Tuesday - 17 / 02 / 2009 Reply

Thanks for sharing. It's a beautiful story. The fact that she didn't get married first is part of what makes it an act of extraordinary love - no pre-conditions! BTW, this is my first visit to your site. I like it! Expect more comments from me in the future. Michael Scotts last blog post..Love is the Winning Argument
Anna Tuesday - 17 / 02 / 2009 Reply

Welcome Michael. I love reading comments, especially from a mans POV. NaturalOasis, what you did is amazing. I have been a organ registered donor with the DMV for as long as I can remember. When my kids got their drivers license they too are donors. (We also donate the dollar for 'the childrens vision fund'). The one thing that my kids insist on not donating is their face(s). They say they are sparing me the thought of seeing their face in a crowd of someone who did need it due to a fire or being mauled. I do understand their reasoning, lets just hope that decision never happens. Since we are also talking about the Black community and none to very few donate, blacks also are of the very few races who don't donate blood unless it is needed durning a crisis in their own family. My sister started a fire in our home when we were kids and my father (her stepfather, she was raised as his own) was a blood match to donate and give her the transfusion she needed to live. Is donating an organ or blood a religious things. I think some think so, not me. JW's don't believe in the transfusions of blood or organs if I remember my younger years of studying the religion. I heard there has been synthetic blood being used/offered now. I feel that it is easy to talk the talk and walk the walk on what one believes in, until you have kids. TheDad mentioned John Q, any parent will go to drastic measures to save their child.
Jonesi Wednesday - 18 / 02 / 2009 Reply

I really never thought about donating my organs. I guess it has been assumed in my family that we don't do that. I am interested in talking to my mother about how she feels about the issue...like I said this issue has never come up. If my fiance needed a kidney, there is no doubt I would donate if I could! I just found out a girl I went to high school with did the name noble thing...and I wonder if you can undergo the surgery and be fine, what reason would anyone choose not too? As far as a religious thing, I'm not sure...never heard anyone talk about this around me...now I am going to ask everyone I know how they feel about it....
Harriet Wednesday - 18 / 02 / 2009 Reply

@ Jonesi, Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I was going to donate a kidney to my father, but he opted not to have the surgery. I think his parental instinct kicked in as he did not want to jeopardize my military career...but i'd give up anything for him to have been able to live a few years longer. I'm a certified organ donor, though. I hope when I die, someone can benefit from any of my organs. I'm just not prone to go all "Seven Pounds" on anyone. LOL I will go John Q, though. If it comes to me living vs. my child dying, then I'll be like Bone Thugs..."see you at the crossroads...and i'm gonna miss everybody." ROFL
Anna Wednesday - 18 / 02 / 2009 Reply

My daughter just came home and said that one of her friends was killed in a auto accident today. Doctors do have to ask grieving parents for quick decisons about donating. I did not want that left up to my family to have to make that decision in all of their grief, that is why they know my wishes. We also talk about being in a vegatative state. I told them to pull the plug but we all knows kids don't want to do that because as long as they can come and visit you and know you are still with them they don't rationalize that you are not there and a fedding tube and life support is keeping you alive. My wish may not be granted so I will have to make sure I fill out my living will that has been in a folder for 8 yrs. Noone wants to think about death especially a sudden one. Unfortunately things do have to be planned and discussed. The only thing that we are guaranteed is death and taxes as the saying goes. My heart hurts for my daughters friend, her mother is in critical conditon. My prayers are with their family.