Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

30-Day Challenge – Update!!!

Relationships

by  |  on March 2nd, 2009  |  33 comments

What did you do yesterday for your spouse?

For the entire month of March, I’m going to complete a challenge that was outlined in the book, The Love Dare. Each day for 30 days I’m going to make an effort to do something nice for my husband. I tried this before and fell short a little bit. This next attempt is going to be interesting, since we will be smack dab in the midst of a move and the “busy season” at both our jobs. The stress is going to be high so being nice is going to be that much harder.

There’s only two rules (that I just made up):

1.       Cooking dinner doesn’t count. I do that every day anyway, so that’s a cop-out.

2.       Because it benefits both of us, sex doesn’t count.

What about you all? Care to do this challenge with me? (Please?)


About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.



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Comments (33)

  1. TheDad Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Count the both of us in!
  2. Harriet Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    I'm in, too! I watched that movie "Fireproof" and was blown away. Let's do it!
  3. Sasha Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    What a wonderful idea...I love the way you are always looking to grow the love and grow your relationship!!
  4. Tiya Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Count me in. I have the Love Dare book. It is really a great book.
  5. Ms Miko Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    I have done this before, I don't know if it's the same one you're speaking of, this one was a spritual one, but I'm all in why not, since I do love him..lol
  6. Blackpresence Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    What a fantastic idea. I am certainly going to try to implement this plan..I should have thought of it a long time ago. Blackpresences last blog post..Black Soldiers in the British Army - John Ellis
  7. Michael Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Great idea! I'm in too. Michaels last blog post..The Next Big Thing
  8. Tara Pringle Jefferson Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Oooh, good! We can all hold each other accountable. Let me just say, it's day two, and I'm failing in a major way. LOL. I'm working on it though! Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..Ask the YoungMommy readers: When to start discipline?
  9. Shawnta Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Tara, Count me in. My husband and I actually just started The Love Dare book and challenge yesterday with our married couples Sunday School class at church. We're watching the movie Fireproof next week in our couples' small group.
  10. D Michele Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    I like this idea....I do small things for my husband everyday so it will be hard to think of new things but I'm definitely all in! Can someone fill me in on "Fireproof" and The Love Dare book?
  11. Jonesi Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Great idea Tara! I'm going to try and the boo has agreed to also :-) I will admit this is going to be challenging lol
  12. TheDad Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    I'll be asking for an update tomorrow then at least once a week to hold everyone accountable :-) I'll keep this topic in our featured section as a reminder to everyone.
  13. Mom of 3 Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    I watched the movie Fireproof a couple of weeks ago with my husband. I am currently on Day 3 of the Love Dare book. My challenge today is to buy something for my spouse. I thought it would be easy to just buy something, but it isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I'm still trying to come up with something to buy before the end of the day. I think the challenge is great. My husband and I are having some problems right now. In the few days that I have been reading this book (and listening to my pastor) I have realized that my enemy is the inner me--not him.
  14. Harriet Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    @ D Michele "Fireproof" is a movie that recently came out on DVD about this couple whose marriage was on the rocks. The husband went to his father and was asking for counsel. Long story short, his father sent him a copy of the "Love Dare" booklet and journal he had done with his own wife. It revolutionized their marriage. The "Love Dare" is a book and journal that outlines 40 days. The first day is a commitment to say only nice things to your spouse, and if you cannot do that, then don't say anything. Then the next day is an act of kindness, etc. etc. for 40 days. For it to be such a simple concept, it really has changed many marriage for the better, even those on the verge of divorce.
  15. Georgiapeche@yahoo.com Monday - 02 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Does anyone know the author for the love dare book because I saw the movie Fireproof, and it's powerful, and for those of you, which seems to me to be all, are Christian having faith can be powerful in a marriage. It has helped mine, but I didn't know the book was real, so now I want to find it.
  16. NaturalOasis Tuesday - 03 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    I just ordered the book and movie from Amazon.com for under $20.00. I can't wait to get started on this exercise/life change. After listening to all of the positive feedback I felt it worth my time to see what positive memories me and my mister can create! ;)
  17. Michael Tuesday - 03 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Re: What did you do yesterday for your spouse? I gave her a back massage. Michaels last blog post..A Life Full of Gratitude
  18. Tara Pringle Jefferson Tuesday - 03 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Re: What did you do yesterday for your spouse? I took him out to lunch, told him to order anything he wanted and I gladly picked up the check! Go me! LOL. Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..In Good Company: Lauren Luke
  19. Harriet Tuesday - 03 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Re: What did you do yesterday for your spouse? I picked all his clothes up off the floor in our bedroom, and instead of piling them up in his studio (where his closet is) for him to hang up, I hung all of them up. Then I got his shoes and did the same. Then I got his socks and did the same. Normally, while trying to stay saved and pondering why a grown man insists on walking out of his clothes, I rant and rave while picking his stuff up, toss the pile at the door of the studio and stomp off. This time, I took painstaking effort to ensure everything was hung up and in the right place. *singing* Jesus, keep me near the cross... LOL
  20. TheDad Tuesday - 03 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Harriet - "*singing* Jesus, keep me near the cross" You're crazy... lol. I think you and Pete have a funniest comment competition going on.
  21. TheDad Tuesday - 03 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    BTW I was supposed to go into work yesterday but instead I stayed home to watch the kiddies so TheMom could get in a full days work which actually went longer than a full day. For her part she made me a deluxe country breakfast before she went to work to fill a brothers stomach up. Actually this just reminded me I haven't done anything today yet.
  22. Yolanda Wednesday - 04 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    We already did this dare but we will do it again. It works wonders.
  23. Harriet Wednesday - 04 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    TheDad...that was supposed to be our little secret. You can't be telling all of cyberspace that i'm not in my right mind! LOL I have Pete beat on quantity, but that brother has made me spit out food, made water come through my nose, i've had to give myself the doggone heimlich maneuver from almost choking to death reading his stuff. the man is hee-larry-us!
  24. Harriet Wednesday - 04 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    mannnnnn, i messed up this morning, y'all! first, let me tell you what i did nice last night: he really wanted some cereal, but we didn't have any milk, i'd left my atm card in my desk at work, and his bank card is not a debit card, so you have to go get cash first, then go purchase what you want. after church, we got cash, and he was so tired that i said i would go in the store, get the milk (the biggest one they had), and i even got him some ice cream to eat for later (the man has a MASSIVE sweet tooth). he was very appreciative. but every morning, we get on each others' nerves. my job is to fix our son's lunch and snacks, pick his clothes out, fix everyone breakfast, then get myself ready. his job is to get out of the bed, iron the clothes, dress our son and drop us both off to school and work, respectively. but every SINGLE morning, he wants to sleep in until 7:30...keep in mind, school starts at 8, and i have to be at work by 8:30-9. School is clear on one side of town, and work is clear on the other side of town. *now i'm singing AND tapping my feet to "Jesus Keep Me Near The Cross," rocking back and forth* anyway, like a vitamin, i bug him each and every morning to wake up. i nag him and bother him and piss him off until he gets his tail out of the bed. this morning we really had it out. SO...i'm going to do a preemptive strike. tomorrow morning, i'm going to say...NOTHING. if he doesn't get up in time, i'm going to do all my tasks AND get the baby ready. i already have my alarm set for an hour earlier than usual just to get it done. Just for tomorrow morning, though.
  25. keisha Wednesday - 04 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    OMG!!! This is gonna be hard for me, but I'm up for the challenge. My husband and I have been arguing for the past two months. We have the Love Dare book and went to see the movie. I tried to do the challenge but every time I try he does or says something that makes me want to give up. I will try it again.
  26. Ms Miko Wednesday - 04 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    well I ran his bath water, and ironed his work uniforms for the week. a
  27. Tara Pringle Jefferson Wednesday - 04 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    I've been messing up left and right! LOL. But yesterday I got sick and lost my voice, which he will probably count as my "nice thing" for the whole week! LOL. Now I can't yell at him. (Seriously, when I talk, it comes out like a squeak.) Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..Young mothers mean young grandmothers too
  28. Harriet Wednesday - 04 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    @ Tara, is your husband looking to the heavens thanking God you lost your voice? is that the nice thing the Lord did for him this week? ROFL! the movie did a good job of showing the challenges associated with carrying such a dare out, but until you die within and step out there and do it yourself, you never know how difficult it is. keep your head up @ keisha. we're going to make it through this together!
  29. PinkLady Monday - 09 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    This is great!!! I am all in.
  30. NaturalDiva Tuesday - 10 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    This is truly a challenge. I have been stuck on day 3, because my husband keeps pushing all the wrong buttons. I am so trying. I am going to get through this challenge. Just in these couple of days, I have realize that we really have some issues to work on. I am sticking to this challenge!
  31. CartersMom Tuesday - 10 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Hello everyone I am reading all your comments and advice everyday, and I decided to join. You are all so hilarious and wonderful in your own ways. Regarding the challenge, I really want to try because I was told I was not being a good wife by my husband and friends. The issue that I have with the challenge is that my husband and I work opposite shifts so somedays I don't even see him. How do I do the challenge if we we don't see each other?