Fireproof: Caleb's Apology

BY: - 26 Mar '09 | Relationships

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HER VIEW:

This was my favorite part of the movie, perhaps because it hit home for me.   I cried when Caleb apologized to his wife and asked for her forgiveness.   He had to truly humble his self to do that (even though he had no idea how Catherine would respond.)   That spoke to me because Lamar says I have issues with apologizing (and don’t tell him I said this”....but I think he is kind of right.)     I definitely need to have more humility and apologize when I am wrong.

HIS VIEW:

I liked it when she said that this wasn’t normal and Caleb said, “This is the new normal”. That goes to show you that just because things have been a certain way for the last however many years in your relationship there is always possibility of change. I also liked how Caleb’s apology was selfless, it was all about humbling himself and asking his wife for forgiveness. Some of us would have asked and when she truthfully said she needed time we would have went off.

“I need a decision right now, I can’t wait, you’re lucky that I’m still here or doing all of this after I found you cheating”. Know what I’m saying? He could have done all of that but that was not his point, his point was that he was all in (poker term) when it came to getting his wife and marriage back.

QUESTIONS:

1. How has God shown forgiveness to you?

2. Describe a time when you received undeserved forgiveness from someone close to you.

3. Why is forgiveness so important in a marriage relationship?

4. What are the dangers involved in not resolving an area of unforgiveness in a relationship?

5. Is there an area of unforgiveness in your life? How do you plan to deal with it?

About the author

Lamar Tyler wrote 2197 articles on this blog.

Lamar Tyler is co-creator BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. He also is the co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing.

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5 WordPress comments on “Fireproof: Caleb's Apology

  1. Tiya

    I also liked this part of the movie.

    GOD has definitely shown me forgiveness, cause I know where I could’ve been based on some of the decisions I’ve made, but GOD has me in a great place, that’s how I know HE has forgiven me.

    I’m thinking on this one, I’m sure there was a time with my husband, and I was the one wrong, but he was the one to initiate the making up.

    If you can’t forgive and are still holding to things, your marriage will not grow, it will stay stuck, and then when it is time to discuss things, it will blow up and be more than it has to be because we are still carrying around resentment and unforgiveness

    I can work on areas of unforgiveness in my life, by either talking about it with the person I have the problem with or by looking at the situation a different way, it may not be all that big of a deal for me to be holding on to the resentment anyway, then I can make the decision to let it go. I am learning that everything doesn’t have to be a battle, somethings are just not that serious, so I try not to hold on to a lot of stuff

    Reply
  2. C.Dark

    Tiya-
    You are right when you state that we have to learn to let things go because they are really not the serious. The problem that I have with forgiveness is that it is easy for me to forgive those who are not close to me. For those who are very close to me, I have a hard time forgiving and I think its because its hard for me to think that they have wronged me because I trust them wholeheartly. Its easy for me to preach forgiveness but its so hard when its someone close to me. I will tell them that I forgive them, but in my mind I am not sure that I really do. I was once told that in order to forgive others, you have to first forgive yourself. This is something that I struggle with daily especially in my relationship.

    Reply
  3. Harriet

    If a person ever needs practice in the art of forgiveness, they should get married! It’s a daily task for a married couple, I promise! LOL

    There’s no way I can repay God for all He has forgiven me for. I literally should have been dead.

    As far as forgiveness from someone close to me, when my husband and I first got married, there was very little that he valued in terms of physical possessions. But he was close to his grandfather, who had died a few years before we met. This grandaddy left him an old guitar in its case that he was determined to learn how to play.

    Well, one day, during the first three months we were married, he made me SO angry, and then left our apartment and locked me in! I went BONKERS, you hear me? Everything he moved into our place I threw at the door. Obviously that wasn’t going to appease that angry beast that I was. So I grabbed that treasured guitar, and with all my might, I jumped up and down on it until both the case and the guitar were destroyed.

    It accomplished what I wanted at that moment–to hurt him as much as he’d hurt me–but that moment didn’t last more than two hours. When I realized how much I’d hurt him the next day, I was so apologetic, but the damage was done and couldn’t be undone (6’1″, 190 lbs, muscular build…that poor guitar didn’t stand a chance).

    Yet my husband forgave me for that…it didn’t even take him a long time, either. That astounded me. If he had done something like that to me, I probably would have held onto it for at least a month!

    Reply
  4. Tiya

    Oooh Harriet, your husband is a really great person, that would’ve been very hard for me to forgive. But that is so great that you two have that type of relationship. C.Dark, forgiving is easier said than done, especially when it’s someone close to you, I think we just expect more from those people. So when they let us down, it really hurts. When it is someone close to me that has hurt me, I have to think about their intentions, and I ask myself if I really believe that person’s intentions were to cause me pain, and 9 times out of 10 I come to the conclusion (especially if it is someone that loves me) that they probably did not set out to hurt me on purpose and that always helps me to forgive a little quicker.

    Reply
  5. Anna

    I need to get my movie back. I loaned it out and I did not shead one tear while watching it. It may be because my hubby and I watched it together. I did read the reviews of ppl who saw the moive and they said “get your tissues out”. My husband and I can watch a scary movie and make it funny. I guess I did not tear up watching the movie because I was too mad at the wife from day one through day 43 of his 40 day journey. Maybe it only means that I have a good marriage and “if it aint broke don’t fix it”. I still tear up watching “The Titanic”.

    Reply
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