Fireproof Discussion: The Movie

Relationships

by Lamar Tyler | on March 23rd, 2009 | 7 comments

All week we’re going to break down and talk about different parts of the movie, “Fireproof” here on BMWK. Click the video above to view the trailer, hear us discuss what we thought about the movie in general and to hear our first three questions for today.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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Comments (7)

Mom of 3 Monday - 23 / 03 / 2009 Reply

Here are my answers to your 3 questions. My husband and I watched the Fireproof movie together as soon as it came out on DVD. I think we watched it as a "last resort" effort to work on our marriage. (1) I really liked the movie, I thought it addressed a lot of problems that marriages go through. After watching the movie, I bought the book the Love Dare that is referenced in the movie. I have not worked through the book as diligently as I should, but I am getting there. (2)The movie did have a direct impact on me and made me want to work on my marriage more and be more dedicated to my spouse. As you mentioned in the video, a marriage is a covenant, not a contract but it is often treated like a bad contract that you can get out of whenever you want to. (3) I would like to think that this movie could have an effect on my marriage--however, in my particular circumstance, I don't think it did on both ends. Meaning, I think my husband just viewed it as a movie and not anything more. I thought it was an opportunity to open up a discussion.
Harriet Monday - 23 / 03 / 2009 Reply

1. What did you think about the movie? I absolutely LOVED this movie! I've watched it three times thus far, and each time I get something different about it. I especially loved the fact that it wasn't esoteric...this movie can be related to any couple, not just a couple that's saved. I love the fact that it didn't demonize any particular group of people, but it showed that whether saved or unsaved, Jew or Gentile (LOL), marriage is going to take a lot of work, but it can be heaven on earth if you work it. 2. Did it have a direct impact on you? Yes, it did. It forced me to look at myself and some of the things I do that have the tendency to cause friction and disagreement to take place. No, we don't have any of the issues outlined in the movie specifically, but the "Love Dare" really got me to thinking: how often to I speak negativity to my husband? Is it more than I affirm him? Is it more than I encourage him? I hate to admit that the answer to both is yes. So since I've seen the movie, I've been consciously changing the way I communicate with him. 3. Can this movie affect your marriage? It can, and it has. My husband didn't really have a lot of comments on how it affected him...I think he thought it was corny. But for me, it really pushed me to change the way I relate to him.
TP2 Monday - 23 / 03 / 2009 Reply

1. I thought the movie was great. It definitely touched on many of the issues that marriages face today. 2. It did have an impact on me. Not only did my wife and I take the 40 Day Dare, but it opened the avenue for communicating about those "touchy" topics that can cause either party to potentially take offense to. 3. The movie definitely affected my marriage. But, I had to go in with an open mind. I've spoken with other couples, and if one or both spouses are trying to get nuggets from the movie about how their spouse can do better, nothing will be accomplished. You have to want to change yourself in order to change the overall marriage! I'm definitely looking forward to this series! It's more and more motivation to step my game up and get this marriage counseling project off the ground. Keep it up guys!
Lamar Monday - 23 / 03 / 2009 Reply

@TP2- you're exactly right about going into it with an open mind. Otherwise you definitely won't walk away with anything. And your thought pattern definitely needs to be on improving yourself. If you're watching to see things your spouse does wrong or hoping they see themselves you're missing the boat again Lamars last blog post..Money Monday: Real Estate
Anna Monday - 23 / 03 / 2009 Reply

Aside from the mediocre acting the movie was great. I bought the movie Saturday and we popped it in the DVD player after all the NCAA games were over. After watching it for 25 minutes hubby said he saw the movie already(he watched it with his mom). He still sat down to watch it with me. I found myself being so mad at his wife. He was trying so hard and she was to busy flirting. I was mad because she wanted to be married when it was convienent for her. Her friends convinced her that her husband was being nice to keep more money in his pocket in the divorce. This is a great example of why you don't let/allow ppl in your business. Go to your spouse and ask for yourself. Durning the course of the movie I wondered how a doctor was not married? I watch to many movies because when she thanked the doc for buying the bed and the chair for her mom I knew right then and there that he did not buy them and he was slime. It was a good movie and I am going to let my Pastor know about it. Maybe she can show it at church. I liked how the movie did not throw church in your face but the presence of GOD. I made a list of ppl I want to pass the movie around to. We do have to respect our spouse, learn to forgive and not look at marriage as a contract but an extension of our commitment. Laughing at Ronnie and Lamar for mentioning that they found things about each that they could improve in their already great marriage. Lamar we know you are a "Saint" and can do no wrong. LOL. Hubby kept asking me why I wanted to watch this movie. I think he really took it personal. I told him that I want to watch the movie so I can discuss it on BMWK. I think he thinks I am trying to make him change. I know through Harriet that the only person I can change is me and if you want to ride the change train that's on you. It was a great movie to share with a spouse. The last movie hubby really let me pick out was "The Titanic". As much as he loved the movie once was enough for him. I bought the movie when it came out on DVD. My kids can watch it over and over again. I will watch "Fireproof" with my kids and get their take on it.
Ronnie Monday - 23 / 03 / 2009 Reply

This movie actually brought me to tears and our seven year old daughter said: “Mommy you are sooo emotional.” But I couldn’t help but cry during the scene where Caleb applogies to his wife. It was sooo touching. Kirk Cameron did an excellent job in his role as Caleb (I forgot all about Growing Pains) This was a great movie with a powerful message for everyone (whether you have a troubled marriage or not.) It’s obviously a faith based movie. However, even if you are not a Christian your marriage can benefit from the message. This movie did impact me because it made me want to make some improvements in mysel.
Tiya Tuesday - 24 / 03 / 2009 Reply

I cried also, the part where he got the divorce papers and he cried, I just felt his pain, cause he was doing everything right at that point. My husband and I watched the movie with other couples at church and we were all in agreement on how good it was. (Anna my husband said the same thing, aside from the acting it was really good) I thought it was an honest reflection of some of the struggles people have in marriages. It was just good to see that no matter how far or how tough things are there is a solution, it doesn't have to just end, if you don't want it to. The movie did have an impact on me, it really did make me want to give more love, time and energy to my marriage. Not just always thinking of myself first.