Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

Is Parenting Harder For Us Than it Was For Our Parents?

Parenting

by  |  on March 12th, 2009  |  11 comments

No big long winded post today, just something I’ve been wondering about.

With all of the parenting magazines, books, blogs, podcasts, products, websites, classes, etc., are parents of today just … wimps? Is parenting that much harder these days that we need all this support to help us make it through parenthood?

Or could it be that parenting back in the day only seemed easier because there really wasn’t anyone to complain to? There wasn’t any Internet, no Facebook, no AIM. No such thing as having a blog and people you didn’t even know would leave comments telling you they knew exactly how you feel.

Or did we help each other out more back then? I know we lived across the street from my grandmother and she would watch us when my parents went to work. When they got home, we would walk across the street to go home. But now you can’t really do that because people don’t retire like they used to and couple that with people having babies earlier (that’s me), then grandparents aren’t able to help with the kids as much anymore.

BMWK readers, let us know what you think? Is parenting harder or easier than it was back in the day? (And by back in the day, we mean the generation older than you – the grandparents of today.)

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer from Ohio, where she lives with her husband and two kids. Visit her blog, TheYoungMommyLife.com, for daily musings about the issues young moms face.


About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.



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Comments (11)

  1. Smooth Thursday - 12 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Yes its harder today. I would contribute technology as only one part of todays problem. Kids 15 and under should not have cell phones unless they are checking with their parents only. After school activities and homework should be enough time to talk on the phone and that way parents can monitor who and what they are talking about. Seems like to many mothers want to be friends with ther daughters and some fathers encourage the mothers activities of manicures and pedicures at the salon. What happen to mother and daughter time together at home doing this, what a memory. What happens when this recession hits your pocketbook, maybe then, these two issues will be turned around and the luxuries that kids have today will be not a luxury and then...then can spend quality time home with Mom and Dad.
  2. LaKeysha Thursday - 12 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    I think it is harder now... 1. Kids have much easier access to things w/out parents knowledge (internet, sexting, guns, drugs etc. ) and a lot less oversight if the parent(s) work. 2. They are doing things much earlier, mainly having sex. I think the average age that african american youth start having sex is 13! (national average is 17.3). We all know that sex brings about tons of problems (teenage pregnancy, STD's, a false sense of maturity etc.) 3. We no longer have the village helping to raise the children. When my mom was growing up there was a plethora of people who had permission to discipline her (teachers, neighobrs, church members, other family members). I can't count how many parents I've had go off on me in front of their kids because I dared to give a bad report. 4. We have many more homes that are headed by single women. This leads to more poverty. Back in the day you had more men marrying and supporting their families. And because of the way the economy was set up it was much more possible for a man to support his family on just his income no matter his education level, thereby allowing the mother to stay home and raise the children. 5. We have many more of our black men in jail today, thus leading to absent fathers, unstable relationships, unfit role models, DL brothers who may spread HIV-AIDS to black women (who are the #1 contractors of this disease), a mass of unskilled workers, and a much greater liklihood of continuing a life of crime. I think nowadays we are dealing with very differnt environments that contribute to the difficulty we have raising our children today.
  3. EnTLove Thursday - 12 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    I have often thought about this same question. I am in my mid 30's with three children aged: 15-boy, 7, & 5-both girls (two fathers, neither is my husband). It definitely seems difficult to raise children nowadays. I don't know how much I can really comment because I thought with a childs mind then. BUT...I do know one thing. Family values were definitely more mainstream then than now. So many parents have drastically different views of what is acceptable from a child. Also, with that same childs mind that I thought with, our children think with. So you have "children" (no matter the age) that function in adult situations with a childs mind. We have adults that allow their children should be allowed to make their own decisions instead of being guided into adulthood the way alot of us were.
  4. Just sayin... Thursday - 12 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    ...with government assistance and all - there should be no complaints. Just sayin...
  5. Cana Saturday - 14 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    Different generation has different challenge, at different kid's growing stages, the challenge of parenting varies as well. Learn and enjoy parenting, because it is the most valuable thing in one's life. Let's try to be a good parent!
  6. Anna Tuesday - 17 / 03 / 2009 Reply
    If parenting were easy we would get an "Olympic Gold Medal" by the time they are 5 just for G P. Parenting is harder because parents buy into the hype of the latest fashions. Some women would rather have a man in the home than the kids that that labored. Parenting is hard because we have insufficent teachers and ppl who have kids that get to be called "parents". Kids having kids and the parent is 15 and the grandmom is 30 and the great grandma is 45. It is hard for some to be a parent when they are a "kid" themselves. JMO. You can't hang out with your kids in a club. I loved to hang out with my kids at home playing board games. Those were the "good ole days". My kids grew up, but I still like to play board games. I just play them online.
  7. Rachel Saturday - 31 / 12 / 2011 Reply
    The challenges are different but no harder or easier.
  8. Patrick Gerorge1 Saturday - 31 / 12 / 2011 Reply
    It is harder, but we have to come with it... be 1,2 steps ahead, and remember when we were children. Prayer for me is the key that helps me parent my 2 teenagers.... I'm no fool & they know it..LOL