Steve Harvey on Oprah – 5 Questions All Single Women Should Ask

Relationships

by Ronnie Tyler | on March 24th, 2009 | 19 comments

Steve Harvey’s list of 5 questions all single women need to ask. He also added that you should be able to ask the first few questions up front, no need to wait.

1. What are your short-term goals?
2. What are your long-term goals?
3. What are your views on relationships?
4. What do you think about me?
5. What do you feel about me?

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and their latest documentary Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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Comments (19)

elle denise Tuesday - 24 / 03 / 2009 Reply

I was anxious to watch this on DVR yesterday. I knew it would be a hit, since his 1st appearance did so well... I'm hoping to finish the book asap... elle denises last blog post..Wordle!
Jo Ann Tuesday - 24 / 03 / 2009 Reply

Steve Harvey your book is off the chain.
terry Tuesday - 24 / 03 / 2009 Reply

I saw part of this episode. I was a little disappointed that so many of the women didn't seem to appreciate the fact that a man wouldn't be drawn to a woman sending the message that she doesn't need a man. Yes, it's empowering and all that, but unless they want to end up alone, it's time to ditch the "I am woman, hear me roar" mantra. I was glad that Steve set the record straight on that and didn't let the sisters off the hook. terrys last blog post..Flipping Through One Of My Old Journals...
andyclyde Tuesday - 24 / 03 / 2009 Reply

I liked it AndyClyde
Daisy Tuesday - 24 / 03 / 2009 Reply

@Terry NOT one woman on that show said that or acted like that. The women from NY were living their lives and asked should they change who they were to get a man. They wouldnt have been on the show if they didnt want a man. I dont understand why women have to dumb down or down play their success just to attract a man and this is coming from somebody who is so far from being a fashionista and what not. However if a woman loves LV, Gucci, Prada, 1st class or anything else they can afford with the salary they make why should they have to change it up to get a man to look their way? No matter what Gayle has on everybody knows she has $$ and is paid there is no getting around that. So what is she supposed to do in order to get a new man?
Daisy Tuesday - 24 / 03 / 2009 Reply

I did enjoy the show and he was on Tyra today promoting his book. I agree with about 90% of what Steve says when it comes to men and relationships the other 10 I either disagree with or im on the fence about and feels it depends on the men. Just like all women arent the same neither are men.
Anna Tuesday - 24 / 03 / 2009 Reply

I have more respect for Steve for keeping it real. I feel like Daisy does. We don't have to agree with him 100% but there is nothing wrong with him trying to teach those willing to take his advice.
LaKeyshaF Thursday - 26 / 03 / 2009 Reply

I actually understand what Steve meant about men not being attracted to woman who say they dont need a man. Being an Independant woman especially for black women has been a necessity since slavery. But it also does not work for relationships. Co-dependance is necessary. In successful relationships there IS vulnerability. Each person NEEDS the other. My husband explained this to me. Men crave respect. A lot of that repsect comes from them working and being able to provide a decent life for their families. So when they feel as though they are expendable appendages then that deflates their self-esteem. Just like we women love to hear re-affirmations of our beauty and their love for us, they love to feel respected. I try to use this philosophy concerning being independant/needing a man. "Honey...I can survive without you...but I cannot thrive without you."
Rock City Roots Thursday - 26 / 03 / 2009 Reply

LaKeyshaF..........You make a great point. I would say it is a very pointy point. I did not see the show I had to work, but being a black male I could see yes she can do it on her own but together more can be acomplished. Dasiy...Its not that they have to change their lifestyle. Why would I be with a woman if she is potraying she doesn't need me. My wife and I we work together yes I know she could do it without me because she was before we met. However, we share goals and build for the family. It is an interdependence.
Daisy Saturday - 28 / 03 / 2009 Reply

That is my POINT the women did NOT say they did NOT need a man. Oprah and Steve said thats how they come off cause they have it going on and im like so now women cant have it going on. The women even said they did not going around saying I have xzy/abc and Oprah said you dont have to men can see that for themselves. They were ALL on the show trying to find out how to get and keep a man for crying out loud!
Mikala Monday - 30 / 03 / 2009 Reply

The show was amusing. I was surprised to find so many women who are so desperate to find a man. Steve Harvey does have a different and funny approach, but keep in mind, he is on his third marriage. He is not a psychologist, he is a comedian. He understands women so well that he refused to pay alimony or child support for his son. Gayle doesn't have a man because she's too busy following Oprah around. These women need to wake up. One woman wanted a millionaire, but does she usually socialize with millionaires? I don't think so. That list needs to be revised and you ladies need to take a step back and get your priorities straight. Don't try to be something that you're not, and stop wishing for that perfect knight in shining armor to rescue you. He rode off with the woman who had a much shorter wish list!
StephanieInCA Monday - 30 / 03 / 2009 Reply

Look, these are great questions to ask if you are a single woman LOOKING TO GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP. I'm frankly bothered by the assumption here that every woman is. As a single woman who is decidedly NOT looking for a relationship, my five questions are a little different: Do you treat me with respect? Is safe sex important to you? Do you have a criminal record? Do I feel safe with you? Can we do it again? More: Steve Harvey wishes you weren't such a slut
kpsmove Sunday - 05 / 04 / 2009 Reply

I agree that many black women are so preoccupied with what they don't need that they have trouble accepting what they do need. Dating some sisters is like working for a boss that says hey you can leave anytime you feel like the company can run without you. So one day a new company comes calling and they say they need you and respect your talent not to mention they have great legs lol. Why not go where you think you can be appreciated? The crux of this story is that if some women applied the same sense in relationships they do in business they would understand Everybody needs talented people in their lives and if your attitude is I dont need you I will still be standing on my own the problem is not if you are still standing but have you progressed. Anyone can ride a tandem bicycle alone but even a crippled couple can ride it faster than you.
Donna Monday - 06 / 04 / 2009 Reply

Make that money Steve!! I mean, let's be real, selling books is the main goal here. If Steve wasn't a comedian, I would find this really sad. A man who admits to mentally and emotionally abusing women his entire adult life, now thinks he is in a position to give advice on relationships. Ladies, let's think about some of the comments being posted. Do we really want men who are so insecure that they donn't understand two checks are better than one? That a woman's desire to advance and be independent can only help make his life easier, and that of their children? So, now we're telling our daughters that in order to get a man, you can't be smart or successful. Learn your history in America. For years black women had children and fathers left!! So, single uneducated mothers were forced to raise their children in projects and extreme poverty. Black men knew they were NEEDED then! Yet, it was still hard to find a good man.
to harriet from lilkunta Thursday - 09 / 07 / 2009 Reply

THANK YOU DONNA! I am so disappointed that O had this prick on his show. He cheated on both his wives Marcia & Mary. Now he is with marjorie, will he be faithful?
Ashley Tuesday - 22 / 12 / 2009 Reply

I am kind off dationg some guy. he promised all the good things in life even ask my parents to date me. He is much older then me and I have never dated an older guy. I fell inlove with him and today I love him dearly I want to get out of the relationship I cant really call it a relationship. I never see him we never go out together or do anything together. He has 2 kids and I have accepted it. But he told me he need time to clear his head and in that time he moved to stay with another woman and still see me on the side line. I love him and kind off went along with it. I will always be the second woman. I have ask him to tell me he dont want to be with me but he cant do that either i am thinking of moving away from the town where we stay in but I have responsibilities here and dont want to run away from my problems. I want to have children with him but he dont want the same thing. I have never seen myself in something like I am now in. Being with someone whos heart is in 2 places. he is devorce and I made peace with that. I jsut wan tto know cant men realise how they hurt us woman by not being honest and they only think about themselves.
Phyllis Thursday - 07 / 01 / 2010 Reply

Mr. Harvery saw you on the Dr. Phil show just the other day,as always you have a great and a most wonderful smile. I don't normally watch because i dont really care for him but i watched because of you. I getting ready to purchase your new books and can't wait to read it. I'm hoping that it will help in this new enduver that im about to launch with someone. Peace out and have a great New Year Phyllis
Colette Thursday - 07 / 01 / 2010 Reply

Steve Harvey's questions are a little weak. Men and women are lying to each other much more easily these days. Any man that wants the woman's 'goodies', money, etc. Will be able to answer these questions to the liking of the woman that asks. I'm a little rusty but if I were still out there, I'd want his full name and an email. I'd run a background check on him and google his name. Then, if we're at that point - a visit to the Dr I want to see the results of all disease testing. Too many sketchy hits and I'd keep moving. I want to know past girlfriends, wives and some insight into the breakups. I'd want to visit his house, it's gotta be clean and orderly and I'd prefer he didn't have too many guy friends that will possibly compete with my time. When he picks me up he's gotta care enough to clean his car and he has to be on time. I'm just not a fan of this Steve Harvey, go tell some jokes Steve but leave the relationship stuff to people that actually have proved to be.....oohhh just saw a Will Smith article....and I'm off. Now that is a man that should write a book ( :
Jacquline Buckley Saturday - 11 / 09 / 2010 Reply

Jacquline Buckley age 51 Have me to find a reltionship I have tried 3 Year Help? men donot date anymore