Original Author of “Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man” Says Steve Harvey is Using Her Original Title and Theme To Send a Distorted Message of Empowerment to Women.

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by Lamar Tyler | on April 9th, 2009 | 20 comments

Chicago, Ill. April 5, 2009 — Author Sharon P. Carson of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, says the Steve Harvey’s book of the same name is a misrepresented take on her original work. Carson, who is pursuing her rights under unfair competition laws, secured a copyright for the title in 2004, and then established www.actlikealadythinklikeaman.com.

Harvey’s book, published in January of this year, copies the title and theme of her work, says Carson, and takes some of her authentic thoughts and conclusions and contorts them into a detrimental message for women. Carson says his approach is a distorted view of her original vision.

Carson says her self-published book was written, “To encourage women to accept and appreciate who they are both inside and out and to respect themselves and demand respect from their male counter part.” She also felt women need to be as tough minded as men are in relationships, which is how she created the title, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.

Harvey has stated the title for his book came through an editor, but originally contained the word “girl” instead of “lady,” a substitution for which he takes credit.

An excerpt from Carson’s book discusses the unnecessary concept of women changing themselves physically for their partner: “Why should women become someone they hate in order to please someone they think they love? What if the relationship ends, will they have to change again to please the next man?”

An excerpt from Harvey’s book, on p. 207, mirrors Carson’s point: “But if you’re telling your man you want a nose job and he sees nothing wrong with the nose you already have then maybe you ought to think about leaving your nose alone. Why run the risk of something going wrong when your man is already happy with the way you look? Why lose the extra weight if your man is happy with you the way you are?”

In addition to reworking her original ideas, Carson objects to the anti-empowerment message of Harvey’s take on a successful woman, per p. 182: “If you’ve got your own money, your own car, your own house, a Brinks alarm system, a pistol and a guard dog and your practically shouting from the roof that you don’t need a man to provide for you or protect you, then we will see no need to keep coming around.”

Carson asks, “How does this message empower us as women? Should we prepare for success so that we can provide and protect ourselves or should we forgo that and wait for a man come along and do it for us?”

While Carson is looking into protecting her own rights as an author, she also is concerned about getting her message out there—that women are their own authority, they are complete with, or without, a man.

Fans of Carson’s book frequently react with praise and the desire to pass on the book’s message. One reader writes, “You were right ON point w/this book! I learned these things the hard way, but I am gonna give a copy to my daughters to read! And your insights really helped me build more effectively with my son! Thank you!”

For more information about Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, contact Sharon Carson or visit www.actlikealadythinklikeaman.com.

About Sharon P. Carson

Sharon P. Carson is a gifted author and poet, and has published four books in her lifetime, including the poetic volume Not By Bread Alone and Go Tell The Children. Carson, a State Certified Real Estate Appraiser, is the mother of two children, and lives in Chicago, Ill. With her husband of 41 years.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com Lamar

I can’t call it. I don’t honestly think the title and concept are that far out there to think that someone couldn’t have came up with the same thing. You know like sometimes you see something and think how did they come up with that.

Really there are a million books with the same theme as well. Now sometimes when celebs do work and especially when they have a team working with them this could be possible that someone sees something and throws it into the mix but I think it would be hard to prove.

I’m more of a business type than an creative type so for all of you creatives forgive me for saying this but having a book with the same title as a #1 best seller that’s been featured on every major talk show, website, radio station can only help sales. This has given Ms. Carson a national platform to discuss her book so hopefully things work out for her as well.

What do you all think?
kmh20s

i’m pretty sure that somebody at the publishing house is getting raked over the coals for not doing their due diligence. a simple google search would have turned up information on this lady’s book.

i don’t think that either book is a “gross distortion”, rather they are two interpretations of how women can prepare a solid life plan. as a woman i would say that the best course of action lies somewhere between these two books.
http://www.reservationsmagazine.com Kirstin (aka The Travelin Diva)

I agree with kmh20s, I think some basic common sense research could have avoided all of this. I also firmly believe that they should have gone with another title, then all of this could have been avoided. Her argument could have been thrown out immediately, if Steve’s book simply had another title. As Lamar stated there are a million books with the same theme. But to use the sista’s title verbatim is just out right arrogant! I am reading Steve’s book (got a free copy…LOL) now and the beginning of it doesn’t sound like Steve even wrote those chapters. Sad to say in the end, Steve’s book will out sell hers.
http://www.scritchandscratch.com/blog VEe!

The titles are a tad wee bit super-similar. I’m sure there are a couple of ways to express the same idea without creeping that close.

I wonder if word will eventually get to Oprah? I’m actually kind of surprised with the number of authors pulling the wool over Oprah’s eyes recently, did they think to do a simple search online? Will Oprah allow her to express her differences and issues with Steve Harvey’s book. After all, I’ve heard Steve Harvey’s take on successful women since I was in high school. It sounds like something Al Bundy would say, but is it empowering? Is it something you would tell your daughter, niece, young sister or neighbor?

Hmmm . . . Lamar, I don’t know, “Harvey has stated the title for his book came through an editor.” There’s a strong possibility of foul play. Maybe not intentionally on Harvey’s part but when celebrities are writing books, there are usually editors involved.

I’m not sure if it will help her sales because it will probably be hard to compete against Harvey’s celebrity status + HarperCollins. If both books have very similar messages, Harvey’s book can and will eat into her potential profits and opportunities. I think if she should continue to pursue some legal action . . . and try her best to get Oprah’s attention.

VEe!s last blog post..Quick Sketching Fun
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What do you expect from Steve Harvey?
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com TheDad

@VEe! – It can’t hurt sales. The book has been out since 2004 and basically this is a discussion we wouldn’t be having today if Steve hadn’t released his book… right? Thanks to Steve she’s getting free publicity all over the web and he talked about it on his nationally syndicated radio show as well.

Someone once said, “All publicity is good publicity” and I’m sure someone is buying the book to see how similar they are or to hear a woman’s take on it.

I wish Ms. Carson the best of luck.

TheDads last blog post..Invitation for Black Moms and Dads to Participate in Research
http://www.scritchandscratch.com/blog VEe!

Lamar,
There was a couple of times when two similar songs were out. While they both had publicity but one was commerically successful. Example: see Chill Rob G. I Have The Power vs. Snap’s The Power. Or better yet, see Aaron Hall doing Aaron Hall vs. R. Kelly doing Aaron Hall.

Nowadays publicity or a wide audience awareness does not necessarily equate successful point of purchase. Do you remember the film Snakes On A Plane? Highly publicized film that underperformed at the box office.

Just a thought.

VEe!s last blog post..Quick Sketching Fun
LaToya R.

From the information I have read above I agree with Carson in saying that it is a distorted message conveyed by Harvey with some of his comments.
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com Lamar

@VEe!- I know what you’re trying to say but again I ask would we be discussing this today if not for Steve Harvey’s book or had you heard of the original book prior to this release? Do you think she’s sold any extra books due to the attention?

@LaToya- When Carson asks, “How does this message empower us as women? Should we prepare for success so that we can provide and protect ourselves or should we forgo that and wait for a man come along and do it for us?”

I don’t think that’s what he’s saying. I hear men talk about this often and I often hear some women refuse to receive what is actually being said. I didn’t expect for my wife to “wait for me to come along and do it for her” before we met. She was successfully living her own life and once I entered the picture I didn’t expect her to be dependent on me.

What we have developed is an interdependence on each other. We both lived two good individual lives but we didn’t tell each other I don’t need a man, or I don’t need a woman or any of that nonsense that some people say all of the time because we were independently successful. Being interdependent with my wife takes nothing away from me or my ability to exist alone it only adds to what I already have and I would assume she would say the same.

IMO anyone that feels like they need to keep telling people that they don’t need a man probably won’t have one. Why would anyone be with someone that lets you know they don’t need you?

Lamars last blog post..Invitation for Black Moms and Dads to Participate in Research
MissJay

What I gather from the article and what I’ve heard about both books, they are similar but told from different perspectives. I don’t think Steve’s book is made to empower women to be successful independent women. It’s supposed to empower women to choose their relationships wisely by haveing insight into what a man means when he says “xyz” or does “abc”. It looks like Sharon’s book is to empower women from a totally different perspective. To empower us to be successful with or without a man. It’s really nice to have a man who loves me and I love him. But I don’t NEED him to be a successful person. He compliments me, not completes me. I was a whole person before him and will be if we (God forbid) happen to break up aside from til death do us part. That’s just my opinion of the matter.
Anna

Being I never knew about the “original book”, I don’t see the harm in it. As one of the comments stated he said the books title came from his editor. I know for me as a woman I do want to hear a mans perspective. Did he copy the whole book or just the title? I will remind everyone that when this/his book first was brought to my attention I laughed. “What can a man who has been married and divorced many times be able to tell me about me and relationships”. My answer is, he can tell me something to think and tell about and share. I have not taken the time to read either book, but appreciate the message.
http://stellarsassysocial.blogspot.com .elle denise.

As a friend of mine would say: “no idea original”…

.elle denise.s last blog post..FREE/Dirt Cheap Stuff: Bargain Blast! (News4 Today)
Mikala

What Steve Harvey did is called plagiarism, whether he knew it or not. He put a comical spin on someone else’s ideas, and the talk shows just ran with it. It doesn’t matter whether Ms. Carson’s book sold as many as Steve’s did. It was not his to sell. The publisher, along with Steve Harvey, just needs to have a meeting with Ms. Carson. I’m sure Mr. Harvey would like to avoid all of the publicity that will no doubt arise from this. My advice to you Steve, is to be a “Real Man”, and acknowledge what you did. Oh, and be sure to bring your checkbook to the meeting.
http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com Lamar

I would think other than the name it would be hard to prove anything. The concept is not original, it’s been around since before I was born and people have been telling women this forever and vice versa. I’ve heard people tell men they need to know how women think and it will help them with their relationships and I’m sure someone has written a book about that too.

If I were Ms. Carson I’d do the same thing though and pursue it as far as it will go while in the meantime making my case and promoting my book. Kudos to her.

I heard somewhere that you can’t copyright titles, not sure just what I heard.
http://joeblessing.wordpress.com joe blessing

[While Carson is looking into protecting her own rights as an author, she also is concerned about getting her message out there—that women are their own authority, they are complete with, or without, a man.]

This notion has done more to ruin good relationships, and cause more lonliness for women than I can think of. Let me be blunt. Carson is being foolish. A woman needs a man. A man needs a woman. That’s the way we were made, and so that’s the way it is. You might as well tell a fish, they don’t need water. This gets in my craw soo bad, because it keeps people from really working on a relationship. They just go, “I don’t need you anyway.” Until they are older, wiser, and far more lonely. Go talk to a elderly person that has been single all thier life, and are now in nursing homes alone, and I bet you’ll get a different story. In fact, I know you will. I’m gonna have to send this author an email.

joe blessings last blog post..Opinions Needed
Catdogg

Steve didnt copy anything…titles just happen to be the same on 2 totally different books, with different messages…If you read both books you will see they are nothing alike….Steve give women the perspective on how men think so women can understand why their man does what he does and says what he says…the lady author cant ever give that perspective bcuz she’s not a man!!
Onion

It seems to me that the issue is what’s called Fair Use. Under that doctrine, one can use a reasonable portion of another’s idea, concept, etc…, and still not violate copyright law. If Mr. Harvey violated the Fair Use doctrine, then he should be forced to recompense Ms Carson fairly. That will be left for a judge to decide when and if both sides get opportunity to present their cases. I hope she does for two reasons.

We live in America, and Mr. Harvey, as an entertainer himself, knows better than to bite off someone else’s apple and not show gratitude. If someone ‘borrowed’ comic material he created he wouldn’t just sit by while that person made a mint from it. Second, I don’t like his views on relationships anyway. I saw him on Oprah and Regis and I was underwhelmed to say the least. Why does a woman need a man to ‘give’ her a title? To say that if a man loves you enough he’ll put a ring on your finger may sells records and books, but it’s totally romantic and unrealistic. Buy your own ring, get your own title that way no one can take it away from you. Approach a man as an equal and recognize his right to approach you the same way. That way you start out on equal footing, and if need be you can part on equal footing as well. But that’s just me.
Patra

Wow…I didn’t know about the first book, and I hope what is being said about SH isn’t true…because frankly, I read his book and loved it!

And, whether we like it or not, this is true…

“If you’ve got your own money, your own car, your own house, a Brinks alarm system, a pistol and a guard dog and your practically shouting from the roof that you don’t need a man to provide for you or protect you, then we will see no need to keep coming around.”
Patra

Onion said:
To say that if a man loves you enough he’ll put a ring on your finger may sells records and books, but it’s totally romantic and unrealistic.

Onion, I agree with Steve Harvey…I’m married now, but I remember the two brothas during my pre-marital days, claiming to “love” me so much, that they wanted to “live” with me – translation: move into my crib, lay up on my couch, and reap all the benefits of a wife…someone to cook, clean, possibly have a baby or two with, in house sex – without making the full commitment. When I suggested to the second brotha that we get married in lieu of shacking up, he told me he wasn’t ready for a commitment. Needless to say he was kicked to the curb.
Messiahdem

Harper Collins Rep: I have an idea, lets get Steve Harvey who talks about male and female relationships every day on his nationally syndicated radio show to do a book on the stuff he talks about.

Steve Harvey rep: Sounds good, tell me more.

Harper Collins Rep: I have an unknown author with a catchy book title talking about something completely different, lets use her title and spin it in our own words.

Steve Harvey rep: Ok, but I think we would face lawsuits because of the similarities.

Harper Collins Rep: Dont worry about that, we are willing to put our reputation as well as Steve’s on the line even though we know all we have to do is change the title and this author remains obscure.

Steve Harvey rep: Ok lets risk Steve’s integrity and go with this plan, even though Steve has reached the pinnacle of success, lets risk all we have on this.

Me: you know this sounds stupid.