Herrara’s Last Day Alive

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by Lamar Tyler | on April 24th, 2009 | 14 comments

CNN has the sad story of Jaheem Harrera’s last day alive. Harrrerra is the young boy that commited suicide after being called names like Gay and virgin at school everyday. Here is an excerpt:

Eleven-year-old Jaheem Herrera woke up on April 16 acting strangely. He wasn’t hungry and he didn’t want to go to school.

But the outgoing fifth grader packed his bag and went to school at Dunaire Elementary School in DeKalb County, Georgia.

He came home much happier than when he left in the morning, smiling as he handed his mother, Masika Bermudez, a glowing report card full of A’s and B’s. She gave him a high-five and he went upstairs to his room as she prepared dinner.

A little later, when his younger sister called him to come down to eat, Jaheem didn’t answer.

So mother and daughter climbed the stairs to Jaheem’s room and opened the door.

Jaheem was hanging by his belt in the closet.

There’s more in the story. For the full version click here.

BMWK in this sad story what if anything could have been done differently? The mother complained to the school 7 or 8 times according to her account. Has your child experienced a bad case of bullying?

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

Harriet

I just read this story a few minutes ago before checking BMWK!

What could have been done differently? Well, first and foremost, besides this boy’s mama, the adults in this situation could have done a better job of taking his complaints seriously. Many times as adults, we have a tendency to look at a child’s complaints as petty, but we fail to realize in our adult minds that what may seem petty to us on our “grown” level is actually VERY serious to a young child.

Also, the school was touted as having one of the most stringent anti-bullying programs in the state. This is a tragic case of something looking good on paper to fulfill a mandatory requirement, but having no teeth to ensure their policies are enforced.

Unfortunately, it’s too late to follow up on the policy for this young man. I only hope his family will be able to move on in due time.

Jordanbattle

he was my frieand we chated online all the time but we didnt go to school together i still miss him alot they all ways called him gay stoped ugly but hee was now and of those things

Jordanbattle

i mean he wasnt any of thoses things ill always miss him

leitergirl

I sympathize with the family of this young man. How truly tragic. The school district seems to have a strong anti-bullying policy in place, yet this child still felt alone. He talked to his family, and despite their best efforts, he felt helpless. When a child is being bullied by their schoolmates, the offenders should be called out and held accountable publicly, by this I mean that the child being bullied should be able to SEE that something is being done, not just told. The parents of the students involved should be required to come in, some type of meeting with all involved held. The fact that something is being done, that the bullied child is being heard, will be something that he can believe and feel confident in because he SEES it. It may be too late for Jaheem, but if school districts do something like this, perhaps young people can be saved from such a sad and desperate act. God bless Jaheem and his family.Delete this site from your blog? or Delete review only
http://www.reservationsmagazine.com Kirstin (aka The Travelin Diva)

I agree with Harriet and Leitergirl totally. I also strongly believe in confronting the bully personally. Whenever my nephews confided in me that they were being teased or bullied, I as there aunt stepped up and went to the school before their parents could go. I personally know how it feels to be bullied and teased daily. I was throughout elementary school and to this day it affects my self esteem. So, as Tyrone & Justin’s aunt, I am simply not going to tolerate it. Trust me the bullying stopped after one conversation with the little bully and his parents. Friends have told me that I am wrong for confronting a child, but I am determined not to risk my nephews’ self esteem and most importantly their lives over bullying. It’s my personal tactic. My heart breaks for these two families. The school system failed them miserably.
Mrs. D

It is really sad that we now have to worry about the safety and well-being of our children when we send them off to school. There is an ongoing story here in the Houston area where a 6 year old girl was sexually assaulted by her classmates on the playground. She said that she yelled out for the teachers but they didn’t help her. The three little boys are back in school and the little girl is terrified to be there with them. The little boys are being protected by privacy laws. You can see the story at:

http://www.khou.com/news/local/stories/khou090423_mp_girl-assaulted-in-playground.10534e7f4.htmld.

My heart and prayers goes out to Jaheem’s family.
Staycee2

First and foremost I would like to express my condolences to this child’s family. I have an 11 year old daughter and a 3 year old son, every evening I ask my children how was school today and from there we talk about EVERYTHING! I love my kids dearly and will go to the supreme court for them!!!! Ain’t no way in the world I’m going to allow my kids to be taunted at school by a bully! If the school can’t get anything resolved after my 1st request, then I’m taking matters into my own hands. Meaning if I have to take off of work and walk home with this bully to get to his parents. Then if that fails, I will then have to make out a police report against this kid & his family.. This is the second child in a month. I know our president has bigger fish to fry at the present moment, but I’m from Chicago and Arnie Duncan whom Barack appointed as the head of the School System needs to intervene at this point to help out with this situation that is plaguing the nations schools.. God Bless both of these families!
http://www.blackwivesclub.wordpress.com Tiya

This is awful, my heart goes out to her and I will be praying for this mom and her family. I just wrote about this on my blog. My 5 year old was being hit by a couple of kids at her school. After telling her several times just make sure you tell the teacher, I think we are now at the point where we want to say hit back and harder. But what did work for me with one of the bullies, was that the teacher pulled him aside with me and my daughter and told him, this is her mother and her mother is not pleased that you’ve been putting your hands on her everyday, and then she gave me the opportunity to speak to him, and I further explained to him that he has no right to touch her, and how upset it made me and I asked him to promise that it won’t happen again and he promised and it hasn’t happeneded again, that’s been a few months now. I know it may have worked because they are only 5. But I think being a parent that’s always there when there is a problem. I mean being in everyone’s face. Talking the teachers as many times as it takes, calling the other child’s parents as many times as is necessary. Talking to the children themselves all may help.

Tiyas last blog post..The Bully
Anna

This is sad. This should not be happening and is something that should always be addressed in the home and in our schools. I have always been one for intergrated classromms. Kids with challenges should be in the same rooms with “normal kids”, so that “acceptance” is taught at an early age. My BFF called me last night, she is an officer that works in the schools. There was this kid who has been “bullying” another kid for awhile. He picked the wrong kid, he got a beat down and his mamma and auntie came up to the school to complain. (Those same kind of paretns who can’t come to a PTA or Parent Teacher Conference) but will defend their kid to the end). (This kid has been enrolled in 7 different schools). Just fill in the blanks and I will say that it’s easy to understand why the kid “bullying” is the way he is.
What this family is going through is horrible. I am so hurt and saddend that the only way out for him was to kill himself. I know he will not have died in vain and parents will really sit down with their kids and “communicate”. Sorry to say but I hope the parents sue the pants off all who ignored their concerns and build a foundation in honor of Herrara’s journey and make a safe haven for kids that go through this each day. Are kids should never have to suffer alone.
Anna

“Our”*
Shawnta

This is such an awful & sad story. I saw this on CNN.com earlier today and not too long ago watched a report on Anderson Cooper 360 about another little boy who also committed suicide because he was being bullied at school and called gay. Here’s the link to that story… http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/story?id=7328091&page=1
http://www.msmikosplaceontheweb.blogspot.com/ Ms. Miko

I’m just lost for words, I can only imagine. I just hope this family can heal from this

Ms. Mikos last blog post..I really wanted to go to Church on Sunday!
http://awomans-worth.blogspot.com Arlice Nichole

This has got to stop! I read about the little boy from Massachusettes on Essence.com. and have thought about it heavily since. Now this. I was bullied as a child, so I know how it feels, and now my son is bullied. It’s not because they think he is gay. I think it’s cause he is easy to pick on. He sees a speech therapist, is ADHD, has a behavioral therapist and counselor at school. I once heard a boy tell my daughter, “your brother is retarded.” Sigh. He’s been through a lot for seven years, and he still manages to be the sweetest little boy wanting to make others happy. Sigh. Babies minds are that heavy that they think of suicide and suceed at it! I’m getting involved. I know about bullyfreeschools.com. If anyone knows or comes across anything else, let a fellow concerned mommy know!

Arlice Nicholes last blog post..Single Ma Was Called Out On Her Lavish Living!
http://www.mybrownbaby.blogspot.com Denene@MyBrownBaby

I have to cosign the comments that insist parents STAY in the teacher’s/school administrators faces when it comes to bullying. “Kids will be kids” is NOT an acceptable way to deal with situations in which one (or a group) of children are causing harm to others, and these schools need to have their feet held to the fire on it. There’s NO excuse for a mother running up to a school seven and eight times to complain, and nothing happens. Who cares if there’s an “anti-bullying policy” if the little bullies don’t feel any repercussions from it? It’s like giving an abused woman a restraining order, knowing full well that that little piece of paper can’t stop her abuser from administering another beat down. The PARENTS of the bully need to be stepped to, the bullies need to be stepped to, and the school needs to suffer repercussions if they don’t stop the madness. I feel so bad for these children–for their families. We would really honor these boys by being more vigilant and involved in our schools, so that this doesn’t happen again. I only hope and pray that Jaheem and Carl’s deaths move all of us to action in stopping the abuse of our babies.

Denene@MyBrownBabys last blog post..Bullying 101: How We Parents Can Better Protect Our Children (In Memory of Jaheem and Carl)

Herrara’s Last Day Alive

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