Marriage Essentials

by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter

Have you ever written a list for anything? A grocery list, a what-to-pack for vacation list or a what I want in a partner list? The purpose of writing a list is so you won’t forget the important things. But what about a list for what you want in a marriage? A list that details the important qualities you feel a healthy marriage should include, especially yours. Let me share with you my list of marriage essentials. It includes what I feel is necessary in my relationship. And it goes a little something like this:

Love: Is really all you need, I know. But not just any old kind of love. I mean love that loves no matter what. Unconditional, tried and true. A love that loves me when I’m happy and feeling good as well as when I’m sick or down and out. The love shouldn’t change.

Trust: Not only trusting my spouse not to cheat, but trusting him to do what’s right by me and our family. Trusting him to be the head of our household and that he will make decisions that are best for all of us. Trusting him to be honest with me and always keep it real.

Support: Yes financial support is nice, but I need support of me. I want to feel that my goals and dreams matter to my husband. I need him in my corner. It is a confident feeling knowing that there is someone who believes that I can do anything.

Space: I need space to be me. I need my me time. Sometimes I just want to be able to retreat to a quiet part of the house and relax. Or if I prefer, hang out with girlfriends. I appreciate having my space.

Communication: It helps when you know what is going on with your spouse and that’s where good communication comes in. In your relationship you should be able to discuss any and everything. Whether it’s about the sky being blue or that you want to try something new in the bedroom, no conversation should be off the table. That’s what true friendships are made of anyway.

I use this simple list of marriage essentials as a reminder of what’s important. What I want and what I should also be willing to give.

What is on your list of marriage essentials?

By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter a certified Relationship Coach with Life Editing, Creator of the Black Wives’ Club and an Administrator with Still Dating My Spouse.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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