Deal Breakers

Comments (9)

1. 

   Mom of 3 Tuesday - 28 / 04 / 2009 Reply

   I definately think that my pre-marriage list of deal breakers has changed post-marriage. I also used to say that I would not stay with a person who does not compliment me, however, that has changed. I think I read an article here on BMWK that said that just because your spouse doesn't compliment you everyday does not mean they don't notice that you look nice,etc. I try to remember that when my husband has not complimented me in a while.
2. 

   Tiya' Tuesday - 28 / 04 / 2009 Reply

   Tara, Yes, my list has changed. Before I got married and had the children, I was also quite sure that cheating would totally end everything. Now that I am married with kids, I won't be so quick to walk away. I know now that there will be some hard days and some tough times, but my marriage has to be forever. I can't believe I say that know with how adamant I was about it before. But my priorities have changed too, it's no longer just about me it's about the whole family.
3. 

   Harriet Tuesday - 28 / 04 / 2009 Reply

   My list has definitely changed. For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part...Lord, why did I get in front of all those people and make a commitment like that? If I leave because my credit score has gone from 798 to friggin' 520, then I told a great big lie. There were times I wanted to leave so badly, because I could have been doing bad by myself, but when it comes down to it, for richer or for poorer stopped me. This is a COVENANT, so even when it's not convenient or comfortable, I'm in it for the long haul. I don't think I could have said that before we got married. The only showstoppers I have now is abuse and pedophilia. Everything else can be prayed, pressed and worked through if both parties are willing to try. Even abuse can be worked through, but I'm not staying under the same roof while that process is taking place.
4. 

   Ms. Miko Tuesday - 28 / 04 / 2009 Reply

   Yep, I have to agree with everything that has been said so far. I definitely changed my love priorties, (if you can call it that). I wouldn't leave after an affair, but it a baby comes with this affair, I beleive I would leave. I can't live with that constant reminder. Abuse yeah I would leave, and what was that Ms. Harriet Pedophilia, I would prob be in jail, cause I would kill for that one. And I have to agree that all other things can be worked out ONLY through GOD, let me say that twice ONLY through GOD! Ms. Mikos last blog post..I really wanted to go to Church on Sunday!
5. 

   Ruby128 Tuesday - 28 / 04 / 2009 Reply

   Yes, I agree that my list has changed because I have changed, but only because I have grown and learned from certain mistakes and experiences (thank god). For me personally, the only thing that is not negotiable is abuse, because that's something you can slice and dice 8 ways to sunday and it's still wrong. But different things have different meanings to different people so our reactions and how we go forward are different.
6. 

   Tara Pringle Jefferson Tuesday - 28 / 04 / 2009 Reply

   @ Everyone - Yup, y'all found my dealbreaker. Abuse (verbal, sexual, mental, etc) of me or our children. That's it. I'm out. But that's pretty much it. It's funny how only the women responded! I wanted to hear from some men, who say they are in it for the long haul! Fellas, where ARE you? LOL. Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..Hiding the pooch
7. 

   Anna Tuesday - 28 / 04 / 2009 Reply

   I have always been one to "never say never". Of cousre some things are automatic grounds for divorce to me. I do know that I would be like Ms Miko and be in jail if I had a ped/perve that messed with my kids or even put their hands on my kids thinking they were disaplining them(whether he were the bio dad or not). There are some things I just don't have the time for the courts to get done quickly enough. I can't think of any deal or no deal breakers because in my marriage we were not 20 when we married and knew what we wanted and there have been no surprises we can't handle. Once you get respect, love and knowing you really enjoy being around each other the only thing left is maintaning your health and making sure enough money is put away in our nest egg for "our golden years". Now I can say that I know a few couples who are the bio parents to grown kids(30 yr old kids) who the moms allow to come back home and the husbands are leaving them all there, that would be an example of "my never saying never". I would want the kids to stay but probably run away with my hubby. I really hope I don't have to ever be in that situation.
8. 

   Mrs. Collins Wednesday - 06 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   My list has changed somewhat, but cheating and physical abuse are definitely still deal breakers.
9. 

   Mrs.Jones Wednesday - 06 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   Aside from abuse, I have one that is kinda funny--to the Jones family anyway. A couple of years ago we were watching 60 minutes or some show like that. They featured a couple where the man was going through a gender reassignment surgery, but wanted to stay married to his wife, and she was staying with him. I looked at my husband and told him that was a deal-breaker. He told me the same...