Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

Talking To Your Kids About Sex

Parenting

by  |  on April 17th, 2009  |  6 comments

We ran across an online article that asks how do you talk to your kids about sex? If they ask  you about the origins of babies do you break out that nonsense about the stork? From the article:

Dr. Berman says kids today know a lot more about sex than we think they do. In fact, Dr. Berman says children are being forced to make sexual decisions by middle school, from receiving sexually explicit text messages—also called “sexting”—to feeling pressured to perform acts like oral sex.

What you need to do as a parent, Dr. Berman says, is arm them with knowledge that will guide them well into adulthood. “You want to start these conversations early with your kids—before they find themselves in the circumstances where they’re having to make those healthy sexual decisions.”

BMWK family what did you/will you tell your kids about sex and at what age?


About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.



Related Posts with Thumbnails

 
Add a comment

Comments (6)

  1. Tara Pringle Jefferson Friday - 17 / 04 / 2009 Reply
    You've got to have a continual conversation about it. You can't just sit down when they're 11 and think you're doing something. When they're like 1 or 2, explain the difference between boys and girls. As they get older, explain how no one should touch them on their private areas. Then explain that sometimes they like each other and might want to hug or kiss, etc. Thene explain how babies are made and tell them DON'T BRING NO BABIES HOME! LOL. But this isn't anything NEW. When I was in middle school (8th grade) there was all sorts of pressure to do things with boys. The only thing that's new is the cell phone aspect, but parents need to be checking that cell phone. The kids don't even have to know. Do they sleep with it? No? Then check it at night. Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..What’s my RealAge?
  2. Mom of 3 Friday - 17 / 04 / 2009 Reply
    This is something that I am struggling with now. I have a 10 year old son and when he was younger, and still now, we have talks about good touch and bad touch. Since he is 10, I know it is time to have the full out talk about sex. I encounter pregnant 12 year olds everyday at my job, so I know that I have to talk to my son like today. When I have tried to talk to him in the past, he gets really embarrassed--I think because I'm a woman. I'm glad to see this posted here today.
  3. CS Friday - 17 / 04 / 2009 Reply
    Tara I agree completely about checking the cell phone. I had no privacy growing up my mom would randomly inspect anything from my book bag to a desk drawer. I didn't mind it thought because my brother and I didn't really get into much and were honest and open with our parents. As we got older she felt she no longer needed to. My sister explained to my 6 year old niece since the age of 2 what her private parts were and how they were taboo for anyone to touch besides her mom and dad when they were washing her up. I think its important to start talking to your kids at a young age because that was how I was raised. Some kids start experimenting and noticing things early. My girlfriend dropped her son off at daycare and a five year old boy told her "she had a lot of junk in her trunk." CSs last blog post..Watch Where You Eat
  4. Anna Friday - 17 / 04 / 2009 Reply
    Talking to kids about sex: We all know you can't wait until they are 12, they will have their own family by then. LOL. It is a constant process. It does have to be age approiate and also the maturity of the child. Kids will ask questions at an early age it is up to us to make sure we are equiped to keep it simple and to the point. Sometimes parents give way to much info too soon and it only confuses the kid and the kid may not really be asking the question we thought they were. I can say that I did not have any nicknames for my kids private parts and we do have to tell them about bad touches and to tell if they were touched. If you start them young it makes it much more easier to have the "big talk" with them later. It is not impossible to have a conversation with your own kids. It just makes it easier if you make it a point to allow your kids to come to you when they have anything to talk to you about. When my kids sat me down (not at the same time) and said "mommy I am ready for birth control I of course made sure that they knew the emotions and significance of making love. I think I was more joyed that they said "mommy you need to sit down", I have something to ask you. LOL. My son does know that I told him to never ever trust a woman who says she is on the pill or was told that she can't have kids. I told him to always wear a condom, AIDS does not pick and choose. My daughter is on the pill I sill tell her to have him wear a condom. Some parents only want to protect their children from a unplanned pregnancy but lack the information to speak to their kids about sexual diseases. I am not that kind of parent. Yes my kids do call me "mommy". They did not "sit me down" when they were 10, 12 or 14 to ask for birth control. Being a parent is hard. But I would never want my kids to have 3 kids by the age of 22 as I did. I do not regret for one moment having my kids. I just want them to plan, plan and plan. I know there are curves in the road that steer differently, but at the end of the day I am still "their mommy", who will never steer them wrong. Once again another long post and I apoligize. I am a mom and being a mom is my passion.
  5. Dad4Live Monday - 20 / 04 / 2009 Reply
    This is perfect timing for me. I am having these conversations with my 9 and 10 year old son’s right now. Before we started the dialogs I asked myself and my wife if it was too early to start and we both agreed it was the right time. They see us rubbing and touching all the time so it wasn’t hard to explain how they got here from a scientific perspective and I immediately moved into GOD’s intention for sex as a gift. And we’ve continued the dialog when we have time away from my wife and our 2 daughters. The boys are very receptive and want to save themselves for marriage and I thank GOD for that. They both know I didn’t and wish I had and so far they are learning from my experience.