The Reality of Foreclosure
Well, BMWK family, typically the articles I write are full of laughter and lightheartedness. This is going to be a drastic break from the norm.
Here’s the deal: I always wanted my name to be in the paper as a young girl. I’ve been in the paper for winning an academic contest, for earning first place in oratorical competitions, for having the most rebounds in basketball games and the most spikes in volleyball games. I can think of at least ten other times my name has been prominently displayed for my parents to post on the refrigerator with pride.
I never thought my name would be in the paper reflecting a foreclosure listing. In fact, it looked more like a wedding invitation, with my husband’s name and mine–all caps–in the classified section of our local paper. I cannot begin to describe how difficult it has been to fight the mental anguish that comes with financial failure. This kind of pressure is unique in its scope and potential to cause a person to totally lose focus on every project or purpose assigned to them.
How could two responsible adults allow this to happen? We are poster children of Lemony Snicket’s “Series of Unfortunate Events.” One emergency after another; one hospitalization after another; one ticket after another; one deviation from our budget after another; one missed payment after another…it all adds up.
Our marriage has been tried…I’ve threatened to leave on at least three occasions in the past because of financial mismanagement, the last time being eight or nine months ago. Could this be a showstopper for your marriage, as Tara wrote about? I don’t know…but I most certainly would understand. It seems like everything we worked hard for these past five years has slowly gone down the drain. It’s enough to make you want to pull your hair out…but not enough for me to give up on my marriage. It’s enough to make you want to holler, and throw up both your hands…but not enough for me to refuse to look beyond our current circumstances and seek out a feasible soluton, saturated with prayer and the perseverance to follow it through.
Ladies, gentlemen, once again, I am an after school special, chock full of cliches about how important it is to press in communication about finances; how essential it is to allow the person who is stronger in that area to be responsible for the budget and the books; how a plan is just a fleeting desire if not consistently acted upon.
I realize this article is a little cryptic…I’m still shell shocked and in pain; still racking my brains for a viable solution; still faced with the daunting possibility of having to pick up, move and start over again in someone else’s property, still repeled by the prospect of having to file bankruptcy in a last ditch effort to save our home.
I was recently informed (today, in fact) that our loan modification application was in the approval process, meaning an extra 45-60 days to formulate a successful plan, whether we stay in the house or not. This is definitely a light in the midst of darkness, but the harsh truth of the matter still needs to be addressed. If my husband and I don’t get our acts together and maintain our budget, we will lose our home. This has definitely been a huge wake up call, and perhaps our heads can now come together, since neither of them are buried in the sand any longer.
Pray for our family, BMWK.Times are hard, but God is faithful. We will get through this, and not only survive, but thrive. This time, we have a plan. Too bad it had to come to this, but hey…I’m all for lessons learned, even if they have to be learned the hard way.
God bless!
~ Harriet
BMWK Partners
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