Comments on: Why Her Pt. 2 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2 Promoting Positive Images of Marriage and Parenting Since 2007 Sun, 12 Feb 2012 07:03:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Marcus aka Mr. Keeps it real http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2/comment-page-1#comment-14265 Marcus aka Mr. Keeps it real Wed, 27 May 2009 14:27:21 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=4440#comment-14265 I'm almost embarassed...LOL...Almost...Here I am thinking I'm leaving my opinion. I had no idea the person to whom's story I was lending my opinion to would actually post a reply. These days I've just been dissapointed with the relations between black men and women, especially when it comes down to deciding if that particular person is "wifey" or "hubby" material. My wife and I are seperated and my experiences sometimes can make me come off as being too frank or just plain blunt. However, I feel communication is important, and that theres nothing wrong with letting your future partner know before hand what expectations you want out of a health marriage/relationship. This applies to male and females. Otherwise you may be left feeling like the love is being sucked out of you, until you're emotionally exhauseted from that individual. But to RE-iterate, don't let your past experiences determine your future, and yes men want a strong woman that can steer but one that knows to let her man be the driver. "but a man has no need for a woman who has no need for him." I’m almost embarassed…LOL…Almost…Here I am thinking I’m leaving my opinion. I had no idea the person to whom’s story I was lending my opinion to would actually post a reply. These days I’ve just been dissapointed with the relations between black men and women, especially when it comes down to deciding if that particular person is “wifey” or “hubby” material. My wife and I are seperated and my experiences sometimes can make me come off as being too frank or just plain blunt. However, I feel communication is important, and that theres nothing wrong with letting your future partner know before hand what expectations you want out of a health marriage/relationship. This applies to male and females. Otherwise you may be left feeling like the love is being sucked out of you, until you’re emotionally exhauseted from that individual. But to RE-iterate, don’t let your past experiences determine your future, and yes men want a strong woman that can steer but one that knows to let her man be the driver.

“but a man has no need for a woman who has no need for him.”

]]> By: Tanya http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2/comment-page-1#comment-14161 Tanya Thu, 21 May 2009 14:13:02 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=4440#comment-14161 Hello family. I am the sister who asked "Why Her?" This topic was something I needed to discuss and your responses have been thought provoking and very helpful. I pray that God blesses your families with good health, spiritual growth and blessed finances. Please read below. Harriet-I know "God" and love who I have become because of my trust and faith in him:-) Karyn-I love the cake analogy. Really cute. Everything you suggested is the way I am currently living my life. Being single is not a bad thing. It gives me an opportunity to figure out who I am and what I like. Every now and then I do desire companionship and for some reason, he seemed to keep my attention. Once I started feeling like he was a manipulator, "Madea" came out. KMH20s-I had therapy and attend church regularly. April 2000 is the year I started seeking "God" for help. Although he is the joy and strength of my life, I am still human and fall short sometimes. On another note, I do not to be DOMINANT over a man at all. Submitting to a man is the sexiest thing a woman can do in my opinion. He must be worthy first! CS-Thanks for your response. I had counseling in the natural and the word of God continues to counsel me. Pray for me. I am still a work in progress. MS MIKO-Thanks for your support of my feelings. I feel like you understand me. If you knew me, you'd know I am a wonderful person. Why should I change who I am just so I can say, "I's Married Now!" Kai Sanders-I love your response. The books you suggested I read must be added to my library. Nessa-I love your comments and agree 100% Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, "Where do I start?" I wish you knew me. I am not the bitter black woman that enjoys being combative or argumentive. My residence should be my sanctuary and I enjoy coming home to peace and love too. I am not the sister that feels like she doesn't need a man eithter. I love men and desire to be in a healthy wholesome relationship. The brother that chose to propose to another sister may have been slightly intimidated by me. Of course I couldn't post my entire life story on this comment bored. From the first day I met him, I exuded confidence and sass. I had been layed off from my job in advertising from The Chicago Tribune and was in school FT finishing up my accounting degree without a job. He told me he liked my swagger and the fact that I was a go getter and still able to maintain my bills without a job. We started dating and learning about each other. After a while, it seemed that he always wanted something for nothing. I took him lunch to his pt job 3x a week, pick his son up for football practice and drop him off. It started to seem like I was doing everything and was getting nothing in return. Everytime I griped about it he would say, "I'm too defiant and that men like women who do what their told and do not talk back. He also said I was too independent and it is going to be hard for a man to deal with me." I thought men wanted a strong independent woman who is independent. Am I wrong? I'm not trying to be SUPERWOMAN. Please believe me. I am tired! The man I want and need will allow me to take the "S" off my chest and be the woman God created me to be. Please reply soon. Hello family. I am the sister who asked “Why Her?” This topic was something I needed to discuss and your responses have been thought provoking and very helpful. I pray that God blesses your families with good health, spiritual growth and blessed finances. Please read below.

Harriet-I know “God” and love who I have become because of my trust and faith in him:-)

Karyn-I love the cake analogy. Really cute. Everything you suggested is the way I am currently living my life. Being single is not a bad thing. It gives me an opportunity to figure out who I am and what I like. Every now and then I do desire companionship and for some reason, he seemed to keep my attention. Once I started feeling like he was a manipulator, “Madea” came out.

KMH20s-I had therapy and attend church regularly. April 2000 is the year I started seeking “God” for help. Although he is the joy and strength of my life, I am still human and fall short sometimes. On another note, I do not to be DOMINANT over a man at all. Submitting to a man is the sexiest thing a woman can do in my opinion. He must be worthy first!

CS-Thanks for your response. I had counseling in the natural and the word of God continues to counsel me. Pray for me. I am still a work in progress.

MS MIKO-Thanks for your support of my feelings. I feel like you understand me. If you knew me, you’d know I am a wonderful person. Why should I change who I am just so I can say, “I’s Married Now!”

Kai Sanders-I love your response. The books you suggested I read must be added to my library.

Nessa-I love your comments and agree 100%

Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, “Where do I start?” I wish you knew me. I am not the bitter black woman that enjoys being combative or argumentive. My residence should be my sanctuary and I enjoy coming home to peace and love too. I am not the sister that feels like she doesn’t need a man eithter. I love men and desire to be in a healthy wholesome relationship. The brother that chose to propose to another sister may have been slightly intimidated by me. Of course I couldn’t post my entire life story on this comment bored. From the first day I met him, I exuded confidence and sass. I had been layed off from my job in advertising from The Chicago Tribune and was in school FT finishing up my accounting degree without a job. He told me he liked my swagger and the fact that I was a go getter and still able to maintain my bills without a job. We started dating and learning about each other. After a while, it seemed that he always wanted something for nothing. I took him lunch to his pt job 3x a week, pick his son up for football practice and drop him off. It started to seem like I was doing everything and was getting nothing in return. Everytime I griped about it he would say, “I’m too defiant and that men like women who do what their told and do not talk back. He also said I was too independent and it is going to be hard for a man to deal with me.” I thought men wanted a strong independent woman who is independent. Am I wrong? I’m not trying to be SUPERWOMAN. Please believe me. I am tired! The man I want and need will allow me to take the “S” off my chest and be the woman God created me to be. Please reply soon.

]]> By: Nessa http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2/comment-page-1#comment-14099 Nessa Mon, 18 May 2009 17:25:22 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=4440#comment-14099 I can understand the individual’s pain that posted the question. Yes, there is a balance. Sometimes you will have to be aggressive and other times submissive. 1. Everyone does not deserve submission. Submission is earned not given. The definition of submission also needs to be discussed. Submission does not mean I say and you do and there is no discussion. Submission means that the selected leader makes the final decision after all options have been discuss. For example if a man come home and say bring me the paper now and you do not bring the paper that is not the definition of submission. An example of the definition of submission is that the final decision about moving to another is left up to the husband and he decided to move and you did not want to move, but you support him in the decision to move. Being submissive will allow his to have the final say so about the move and you support his decision. Personally I have been in a couple of relationship and my submission varied. One individual could not manage his own household , I was not going to trust him to manage mine and make all the final decision(no way) .So with this individual I was not submissive. The other individual I was very submissive, because he made sound decisions. I was able to trust him with making the final decisions and knowing that he made the best possible decision for us and not just him. When a man loose a job that is the real test. On how is he going to handle things? Will he be able to function or will he expect for you to do everything. Please do not mistake what I am saying for that you should not be there for him. Any woman would be there for man and help, but not carry. No man should expect for a woman to pay his bills under any distances .I understand if there is assistance needed with small things such as food, clothes, house hold things, mentally, and emotionally. Even if you decided to help him with this thing he should allow you to offer and not ask. If you guys are married that is different, because the bills belong to you as a whole (meaning the whole family) any leader should have a backup plan if things fail. His backup plan should not be you or any woman. 2. Please be glad that he asks the other lady and not you. Just by that short explanation you wrote I was able to see a lot of red flags. If you cannot make a decision about a woman how are you going to make a decision about more important items? For one he cannot make a decision. It does not take three years to find out who or what you like. I hate to say it but both of you were default women. Normally after about 6 months to a yr a man knows what he want. If you are the one a man can be dating 100 women at one time and will drop them all to be with you, if he was filling you or the other woman. I am all for casually dating to find that individual that you want to spend time with. Once again it does not take 3 yrs. He cannot manage his own finances. I understand things happen, but you should always have a plan B .It sounds like he did not have a plan B until the other girl paid his car note .What would happen if he lost his job while you guys were together? Does he have children? If so what kind of example is he showing for them? That is very important, and more importantly what is going to be the example to your children. The only good thing is that he was honest with you (most men are not). 3. Unfortunately we do not have his point of view so we can only assume what is meant by she always did what he said. No man actually want a woman that is weak minded, unless he is weak minded .Most men welcome a challenge because it keep them on their toes. Plenty of men have said that they want a women who have a strong mind and challenge him from time to time, he just do not want everything to be a challenge or to be reminded that a woman is independent every day. Did you argue about everything? Was there a particular subject that you argue? Did you guys argue in front of the kids? Did you not agree with him because he was not making sound decision nor did you just have to have the final say so? Was he making decision that was best for every one or just him? To be honest I do not think you have a problem with being submissive, my personal experience with the men who say I did not listen to them or I challenge what they did, I did that because they did not make sound decisions. I understand having to be the head of your house hold and making all the decisions for such a long time. It makes you a little hesitant to allow another person to have the lead. I was in the same situation just think that a man has not showed you that he is worth the submission. 4. There is a balance and you have to find it. When you are outside of your home that is the time to display your aggression. Places such as work, church, and other places outside the home. Your man will and has to understand that you are a force to be reckoned with, and most like it that way. Most men love to see the aggressive women outside of the home, but when she is inside the house to be able to tone it down. This is where the balance comes in to play. I understand that you’re past have a lot to do with your present. I advise that you take some time out for you get someone to talk to (professionally) and then date again. I can understand the individual’s pain that posted the question. Yes, there is a balance. Sometimes you will have to be aggressive and other times submissive.
1. Everyone does not deserve submission. Submission is earned not given. The definition of submission also needs to be discussed. Submission does not mean I say and you do and there is no discussion. Submission means that the selected leader makes the final decision after all options have been discuss. For example if a man come home and say bring me the paper now and you do not bring the paper that is not the definition of submission. An example of the definition of submission is that the final decision about moving to another is left up to the husband and he decided to move and you did not want to move, but you support him in the decision to move. Being submissive will allow his to have the final say so about the move and you support his decision. Personally I have been in a couple of relationship and my submission varied. One individual could not manage his own household , I was not going to trust him to manage mine and make all the final decision(no way) .So with this individual I was not submissive. The other individual I was very submissive, because he made sound decisions. I was able to trust him with making the final decisions and knowing that he made the best possible decision for us and not just him. When a man loose a job that is the real test. On how is he going to handle things? Will he be able to function or will he expect for you to do everything. Please do not mistake what I am saying for that you should not be there for him. Any woman would be there for man and help, but not carry. No man should expect for a woman to pay his bills under any distances .I understand if there is assistance needed with small things such as food, clothes, house hold things, mentally, and emotionally. Even if you decided to help him with this thing he should allow you to offer and not ask. If you guys are married that is different, because the bills belong to you as a whole (meaning the whole family) any leader should have a backup plan if things fail. His backup plan should not be you or any woman.
2. Please be glad that he asks the other lady and not you. Just by that short explanation you wrote I was able to see a lot of red flags. If you cannot make a decision about a woman how are you going to make a decision about more important items? For one he cannot make a decision. It does not take three years to find out who or what you like. I hate to say it but both of you were default women. Normally after about 6 months to a yr a man knows what he want. If you are the one a man can be dating 100 women at one time and will drop them all to be with you, if he was filling you or the other woman. I am all for casually dating to find that individual that you want to spend time with. Once again it does not take 3 yrs. He cannot manage his own finances. I understand things happen, but you should always have a plan B .It sounds like he did not have a plan B until the other girl paid his car note .What would happen if he lost his job while you guys were together? Does he have children? If so what kind of example is he showing for them? That is very important, and more importantly what is going to be the example to your children. The only good thing is that he was honest with you (most men are not).
3. Unfortunately we do not have his point of view so we can only assume what is meant by she always did what he said. No man actually want a woman that is weak minded, unless he is weak minded .Most men welcome a challenge because it keep them on their toes. Plenty of men have said that they want a women who have a strong mind and challenge him from time to time, he just do not want everything to be a challenge or to be reminded that a woman is independent every day. Did you argue about everything? Was there a particular subject that you argue? Did you guys argue in front of the kids? Did you not agree with him because he was not making sound decision nor did you just have to have the final say so? Was he making decision that was best for every one or just him? To be honest I do not think you have a problem with being submissive, my personal experience with the men who say I did not listen to them or I challenge what they did, I did that because they did not make sound decisions. I understand having to be the head of your house hold and making all the decisions for such a long time. It makes you a little hesitant to allow another person to have the lead. I was in the same situation just think that a man has not showed you that he is worth the submission.
4. There is a balance and you have to find it. When you are outside of your home that is the time to display your aggression. Places such as work, church, and other places outside the home. Your man will and has to understand that you are a force to be reckoned with, and most like it that way. Most men love to see the aggressive women outside of the home, but when she is inside the house to be able to tone it down. This is where the balance comes in to play. I understand that you’re past have a lot to do with your present. I advise that you take some time out for you get someone to talk to (professionally) and then date again.

]]> By: Harriet http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2/comment-page-1#comment-14048 Harriet Sat, 16 May 2009 13:58:48 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=4440#comment-14048 @ Raven, Thanks! @ LaKeysha, Marcus and T. Rogers...Hi 5! You hit the nail on the head. @ Raven,

Thanks!

@ LaKeysha, Marcus and T. Rogers…Hi 5! You hit the nail on the head.

]]> By: T. Rogers http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2/comment-page-1#comment-14032 T. Rogers Fri, 15 May 2009 20:41:41 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=4440#comment-14032 @Lamar Thanks Bro! The little ones have had a brother busy! @Lamar

Thanks Bro! The little ones have had a brother busy!

]]> By: Lamar http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2/comment-page-1#comment-14029 Lamar Fri, 15 May 2009 19:28:59 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=4440#comment-14029 @LaKeysha -good comment @T. Rogers- meant to tell you yesterday welcome back to the comment section bruh <abbr><em>Lamars last blog post..<a href="http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/15/study-shows-marriage-improves-after-kids-leave-home/" rel="nofollow">Study Shows Marriage Improves After Kids Leave Home</a></abbr></em> @LaKeysha -good comment

@T. Rogers- meant to tell you yesterday welcome back to the comment section bruh

Lamars last blog post..Study Shows Marriage Improves After Kids Leave Home

]]> By: T. Rogers http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2/comment-page-1#comment-14020 T. Rogers Fri, 15 May 2009 17:05:39 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=4440#comment-14020 "And if you think that you won’t have to change ANY of yourself in a marriage then you’re not ready to make that commitment." ^^This comment bears repeating. Anyway, the sister in the article obviously has some issues she is trying to work out. And she needs support to work those things out. However, supporting her (or someone in a similar situation) should never become validation of the behavior those issues give rise to. In that regard I can see where Marcus is coming from. The woman does not need to be torn down because she has some issues. But make no mistake: The behavior those issues produce ARE holding her back from a healthy relationship. Also, let's be careful with this whole "real man" thing. Women often use that term to represent the fantasy guy who will accept her EXACTLY that way she is, but at the same be willing to “adjust” who he is for her sake. Sorry, that guy doesn't exist. Well, he does but you really don’t want that kind of man. Men often use the “real man” term to represent a man (presumably himself) who has it all together and women need to step up their game if they want to be considered. That is misleading, also. It implies the man doesn’t need to work on himself. "Real" people are honest people. They are aware people. They are aware of their shortcomings and issues. They understand that ANY person they end up with will bring issues to the table. Real people are honest about those issues with their potential mate. Real people are actively working on their issues. In the end people decide what they are willing to put up with. Most men are big on respect and loyalty with respect being number one. Let me say that again: Respect is number one. In the minds of most men an argumentative woman is a disrespectful woman. It just doesn’t fly. I would take a woman who is a horrible cook over a woman who mouths off any day. And love doesn’t change that. In fact, most men see a direct connection between love and respect. You don’t love me if you don’t respect me. To the sister in the article I hope things come together for you. Take your time and work on yourself. In time things will get better. “And if you think that you won’t have to change ANY of yourself in a marriage then you’re not ready to make that commitment.”

^^This comment bears repeating.

Anyway, the sister in the article obviously has some issues she is trying to work out. And she needs support to work those things out. However, supporting her (or someone in a similar situation) should never become validation of the behavior those issues give rise to. In that regard I can see where Marcus is coming from. The woman does not need to be torn down because she has some issues. But make no mistake: The behavior those issues produce ARE holding her back from a healthy relationship.

Also, let’s be careful with this whole “real man” thing. Women often use that term to represent the fantasy guy who will accept her EXACTLY that way she is, but at the same be willing to “adjust” who he is for her sake. Sorry, that guy doesn’t exist. Well, he does but you really don’t want that kind of man. Men often use the “real man” term to represent a man (presumably himself) who has it all together and women need to step up their game if they want to be considered. That is misleading, also. It implies the man doesn’t need to work on himself.

“Real” people are honest people. They are aware people. They are aware of their shortcomings and issues. They understand that ANY person they end up with will bring issues to the table. Real people are honest about those issues with their potential mate. Real people are actively working on their issues.

In the end people decide what they are willing to put up with. Most men are big on respect and loyalty with respect being number one. Let me say that again: Respect is number one. In the minds of most men an argumentative woman is a disrespectful woman. It just doesn’t fly. I would take a woman who is a horrible cook over a woman who mouths off any day. And love doesn’t change that. In fact, most men see a direct connection between love and respect. You don’t love me if you don’t respect me.

To the sister in the article I hope things come together for you. Take your time and work on yourself. In time things will get better.

]]> By: LaKeysha http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2/comment-page-1#comment-13964 LaKeysha Thu, 14 May 2009 13:17:21 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=4440#comment-13964 Just to through this out there...The Bible tells the Husband to love his wife...and it tells the wife to be submissive to her husband. Personally I have grown up with a single mom who taught me to be independant and take care of business. But as I grow in my marriage I have had to revamp some of my actions and tendancies because they were not condusive to my marriage. (And if you think that you wont have to change ANY of yourself in a marriage then you're not ready to make that committment). I can admit that even for me the word "submissive" can trigger instant attitude but God has established the man as the head of the household and I have to accept that. Now hopefully, as the Bible also says, the husband is not a dictator but deals with his wife with love and wisdom. But I strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman...she was awesome!!!! She combined loyalty, ingenuity, leadership, responsibility, assertiveness and submissiveness to be the epitome of a woman. I'm trying to get there. I just think that the circumstances that have forced us to be independant can also work against us when we need to be co-dependant. Just to through this out there…The Bible tells the Husband to love his wife…and it tells the wife to be submissive to her husband.

Personally I have grown up with a single mom who taught me to be independant and take care of business. But as I grow in my marriage I have had to revamp some of my actions and tendancies because they were not condusive to my marriage. (And if you think that you wont have to change ANY of yourself in a marriage then you’re not ready to make that committment).

I can admit that even for me the word “submissive” can trigger instant attitude but God has established the man as the head of the household and I have to accept that. Now hopefully, as the Bible also says, the husband is not a dictator but deals with his wife with love and wisdom. But I strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman…she was awesome!!!! She combined loyalty, ingenuity, leadership, responsibility, assertiveness and submissiveness to be the epitome of a woman. I’m trying to get there.

I just think that the circumstances that have forced us to be independant can also work against us when we need to be co-dependant.

]]> By: Joyce http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2/comment-page-1#comment-13961 Joyce Thu, 14 May 2009 11:50:20 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=4440#comment-13961 In the infamous words of Dr. Phil "And how's that working for you?" If who you are TODAY is working for you, keep on keepin' on. If it's not...the first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is owning it and doing something about it. If this is the first time that you have heard that you have a quick tongue, argumentative and controlling - then throw that out. If it's not, examine other areas of your life and see how they intersect regarding this issue and make a decision about what to do about it. At some point in our lives we all have to take stock and make minor or major adjustments. Just like we always want an upgrade on our cell phones, operating systems, iPod's or etc...a better version of ourselves doesn't hurt either. Just for the record - I'm working on Joyce 8.0 :) In the infamous words of Dr. Phil “And how’s that working for you?” If who you are TODAY is working for you, keep on keepin’ on. If it’s not…the first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is owning it and doing something about it.

If this is the first time that you have heard that you have a quick tongue, argumentative and controlling – then throw that out. If it’s not, examine other areas of your life and see how they intersect regarding this issue and make a decision about what to do about it. At some point in our lives we all have to take stock and make minor or major adjustments. Just like we always want an upgrade on our cell phones, operating systems, iPod’s or etc…a better version of ourselves doesn’t hurt either. Just for the record – I’m working on Joyce 8.0 :)

]]> By: Yardman http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/05/13/why-her-pt-2/comment-page-1#comment-13954 Yardman Thu, 14 May 2009 01:58:12 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=4440#comment-13954 Great discussion! My oppinion is we as a community need to stop trying to live a fantasy life. You want to keep it real then do just that. A couple is a pair. A pair is more usefull together. One hand washes the other. A couple in a relationship needs to do for each other. When in an intimate relationship you would tend to treat the other individual like they are precious (atleast I do to my wife and children). If you love something you would do what is needed to be done to maintain it. A few years ago when I met my wife I dated a few other young ladies. I mean date not slept with. Me and my wife grew closer because we shared almost everything with each other. Be it time, space, food, conversation. Anyone who knows me and my family would tell you my wife speaks her mind. I feel she is a strong woman, but I don't leave her dominate or demean me. Further more she doesn't try. We don't agree on everything but we try to find what would be best for the given situation. All man do not prefer a docile woman. We all have different personalities and as individuals we find different things attractive. When you live for self you end up alone, when you live selfless and for others you live for god. Great discussion!

My oppinion is we as a community need to stop trying to live a fantasy life. You want to keep it real then do just that. A couple is a pair. A pair is more usefull together. One hand washes the other. A couple in a relationship needs to do for each other. When in an intimate relationship you would tend to treat the other individual like they are precious (atleast I do to my wife and children). If you love something you would do what is needed to be done to maintain it.

A few years ago when I met my wife I dated a few other young ladies. I mean date not slept with. Me and my wife grew closer because we shared almost everything with each other. Be it time, space, food, conversation. Anyone who knows me and my family would tell you my wife speaks her mind. I feel she is a strong woman, but I don’t leave her dominate or demean me. Further more she doesn’t try. We don’t agree on everything but we try to find what would be best for the given situation. All man do not prefer a docile woman. We all have different personalities and as individuals we find different things attractive.

When you live for self you end up alone, when you live selfless and for others you live for god.

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