Number of Unwed Mothers Still on The Rise

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by Lamar Tyler | on May 15th, 2009 | 23 comments

Heidy Gonzalez lives with her two children, including 5-year-old Marilyn Soto, and their father in Mount Rainier. Marriage isn't a priority, she says. (By Marvin Joseph — The Washington Post)

The number of children being born to unwed mothers is still on the rise. According to an article in yesterday’s post new numbers show that when in their 20s and 30s are driving those numbers. See excerpt below:

“I think this is the tipping point,” said Rosanna Hertz, a professor of sociology and women’s studies at Wellesley College. “This is becoming increasingly the norm. The old adage that ‘first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage’ just no longer holds true.”

The trend has unfolded despite decades of political and social hand-wringing over the issue, such as Vice President Dan Quayle’s attack on the unmarried television mother Murphy Brown, President Bill Clinton’s revamp of welfare and President George W. Bush’s focus on “family values.” President Obama has said that one of his priorities is reducing abortions, in part by helping women who become pregnant and want to keep their children.

“Women can have children on their own, and it’s not going to destroy your employment, and it’s not going to mean that you’ll be made a pariah by the community,” Hertz said. “It’s much more socially acceptable.”

But others said the trend is disturbing because children who grow up without stable, two-parent families tend not to fare as well in many ways.

“I look at this and say, maybe this trend is what young adults want or stumble into, but it’s not in the best interest of children,” said Sarah Brown, chief executive of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

About 1.7 million babies were born to unmarried women in 2007, a 26 percent rise from 1.4 million in 2002 and more than double the number in 1980, according to the new report. Unmarried women accounted for 39.7 percent of all U.S. births in 2007 — up from 34 percent in 2002 and more than double the percentage in 1980.

“If you see 10 babies in the room, four them were born to women who were not married,” Ventura said.

The rates increased for all races, but they remained highest and rose fastest for Hispanics and blacks. There were 106 births to every 1,000 unmarried Hispanic women in 2006, 72 per 1,000 blacks, 32 per 1,000 whites and 26 per 1,000 Asians, the report showed.

For the full article you can click here.

BMWK let’s talk about it? What are your thoughts?

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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http://theyoungmommylife.com Tara Pringle Jefferson

I wasn’t married when I had my first, but I have to say it’s not as acceptable as people make it seem. Just being at the hospital opened my eyes to that fact. Even though my then-boyfriend and I were engaged, it mattered little. The nurses would ask me who the father was and I’d say, “Um, the guy sitting right next to me holding his child?” Then the social worker came in and asked all these questions without him in the room, telling me about the statistics of single moms, etc. It’s insane!

While I suppose you could say this is becoming more of the norm, I honestly believe it is easier and more beneficial to the child to have both parents living at home. You can tell me all you want about appropriate father-figures and dads who still participate in their child’s life but don’t live in the home. It makes a HUGE difference in the life of a child if there are two parents who are there every day to make breakfast, to pick them up from school, to help with homework, etc. Just my two cents.

Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..Can kids survive on Cheerios alone?
http://www.urbanfrugalchic.com Khristal

There would probably be so many women without children if they waited on a man to marry them, that is how bad its gotten, people have totally lost their faith in marriage period!

Khristals last blog post..The ladies of UrbanFrugalChic- Yolanda,Cynthia & Khristal
http://www.blackwivesclub.wordpress.com Tiya

Tara, I am with you. I also was just engaged when I had my first child. By the time my second child came along we were official and I did personally feel much better knowing that I could say the babies’ father, my husband is right there. It makes a huge difference having both parents in the home. And I also agree with Khristal, because I have single friends that do want to meet a great man, but also want to become mother’s and they are saying it’s hard out here. It really is becoming the norm unfortunately to see mothers without husbands.

Tiyas last blog post..Why Marriage Is Sexy
Mhlia

My mother was an umarried single parent. I hate it when people (journalists) get all up in the business of telling us that single parents can’t raise kids to become productive, intelligent, educated, employed people. My personal feeling is a stable home (one parent, two parents, a parent and grandparent, whatever) is better than unstable and married. And no, that isn’t a contradiction.

Kmart29

Whew, you said a mouthful. The thing is not to jump into marriage just because. The fact is, that some may not know the truth behind why a woman is unmarried with children. It could be because of a rape, and she decided to keep the child and has grown emotionally and psychologically so that she can care for the child properly. It depends on if they are coming out of an abusive relationship and decided to just raise the kid(s) on there own. You have guys that will literally try to get you pregnant on purpose. You never know the story until you ask. But regardless of the story, if the child is brought up in a loving home, whether a single-parent or two-parent home, makes a world of difference.

http://www.blackwivesclub.wordpress.com Tiya

Mhlia,

I was also raised by a single mother, and she did a fabulous job, so I know single parents can do it. My dad is in my life but wasn’t in the home and not around as often as I would’ve liked.I do often wonder what it would’ve been like to grow up with both of them together. But you’re right, a single parent happy home is better than a married miserable one.

Tiyas last blog post..Why Marriage Is Sexy
http://misseloquence.wordpress.com Allygyrl702

I also agree with Mhlia! I grew up with both of my parents in the home where it was all too obvious that the two just didn’t love each other. And from that I had some serious man issues. My older sister was a run- away, one brother never finished high school, and another brother was an over the top womanizer. I believe that all came about because my parents didn’t have love for each other that would serve as the bond to hold our family together. We all felt loved by our parents individually but yeah I remember grwoing up and wishing my parents would just split.
Happy parents make happy children whether together or not.
http://www.mochadad.com Mocha Dad

Uncanny. I just wrote a similar post on my blog.

Mocha Dads last blog post..Marriage is For White People
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com Lamar

I don’t think the issue they raise is that an unstable home with two parents is better than a stable one with a single parent. There are unstable single parents as well so that’s not the point. The reality is that it’s hard to raise a child for two people so it’s even harder for one.

Can it be done yes, my mother did it with myself and my two brothers but is that the ideal situation no. The importance of having two parents in the home can’t be understated and there are results and research to prove it.

Right now without my kids knowing it they are learning: how a man takes care of his family, how a husband and wife deal with conflict, how a man is supposed to love and cherish his woman and vice versa, how a man is supposed to take care of his children!!! All things that they may not otherwise be exposed to until they start dating themselves if they don’t have it right there in front of them.

Lamars last blog post..Study Shows Marriage Improves After Kids Leave Home
http://www.scritchandscratch.com/blog VEe!

Lamar, I agree with you all the way.
I think it really helps when you’re fortunate to have happy loving parents AND aunties, uncles and grandparents that can also provide additional guidance, love and support.

The number of single parents are also on the rise in the U.K. I seen reports of teenagers under 15 becoming parents. I don’t think the question has anything to do with ability but the overall best interest of the child when it comes to resources and stability.

Social acceptable? More and more. Amongst my friends and some associates I’m one of the few who grew up with both parents.

VEe!s last blog post..Draw Friday Morning Beauty
http://writerdad.com Writer Dad

Really sad. Am I foolish for feeling optimistic enough to believe the trend will one day reverse?

Writer Dads last blog post..The Classroom is Only a Baseline
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com Lamar

@WriterDad -I hope not or else we’ll both be fools.

Lamars last blog post..Study Shows Marriage Improves After Kids Leave Home
T. Rogers

Lamar is preaching on this one, seriously.

It is not about what parents can or cannot do regarding their children. It is about what the child needs. Children NEED fathers. And I say fathers because the majority of these single parent homes are female led. It is the height of ignorance to think parenting is a sustainable undertaking for one person. I know, I know people will talk about their extended families. However, in most cases, even family members draw a certain line with kids that are not theirs.

I am also the product of a single mother. And you know what? I don’t think my situation turned out as rosy as some others say theirs did. And make no mistake, my mother did a hell of a job. However, the job of parenthood is greater than one person. Single parenthood is costly. IMO, single parenthood caused my mother to age a lot faster than she should have. I am convinced the stress of single parenthood has negatively impacted her health. I believe many of the health issues associated with black women are caused or at least aggravated by the stress of single parenthood.

And as much as some would like to downplay it a lot of us products of single parent homes ended up with some major issues of our own. I know I did. Fortunately, I came across some good people in my twenties that really helped me work through a lot of my issues. However, many products of single parent homes are not as lucky as I was.

The nonchalant attitude regarding single parenthood in our country is amazing to me. For every single parent success story there are probably three disasters stories.
http://www.scritchandscratch.com/blog VEe

@Writer Dad, I’ll continue to be optimistic and pray.

@T. Rogers,
“Single parenthood is costly.”
Unfortunately I think people will slowly but surely eventually see how much it will cost society in the long run. Some people like to lay the blame of some societal ills on single parenthood but I’m not trying to go there at all. The cost will show up in how woman and men treat each other, more misogyny and misandry. Many will simply not know how to relate or have any frame of reference to rely upon. More and more what was once considered taboo, will be the norm as I’m sure many of us can bear witness to today. If the trend continues many social programs will be drained of their resources like Planned Parenthood and Administration for Children Services.*

I agree with you that the nonchalant attitude towards single parenthood is appalling but I do hope that single parents are not condemned. Life happens and everybody situation is different. And honestly, I’m really not mad at a child growing up with 2 parents of the same sex, or Angela Jolie adopting 5 more kids throughout the world. Kids need love however they can get it.

*My friend used to work for ACS and he would often tell me about some horror stories.

———
@Lamar, thanks for stopping by and checking out my site. This website is a much needed remedy for those that don’t believe in a sustainable relationship.

VEes last blog post..Colored Girls Rock!
MissJay

I am a product of both a single parent home and a home with both parents there. My parents divorced when I was 10 and my mom did a pretty good job. I personally looked at my parents when they were together and my grandparents, aunts and uncles who were married as a blueprint on what to do. I personally do not have any children but I don’t knock anyone who is a single parent now. It would be wonderful if the statistics would change for the better.
http://www.wisdomswork.com Donielle Michele

Wow I would have to agree with Lamar all the way. There’s not much else to say after that post….lol! My mother was both married and then a single parent so I know how both feel. While she definitely provided for us when she was single, she often worked three jobs to stay in the six figure income range to keep us all in private school. So, because she worked alot, my older sister had to step in and take me shopping for prom, get me ready for graduation and attend my “Mother Daughter Luncheon” in highschool. I know she did her best and sacrificed alot for us so I held onto that and came out ok…I think!
http://blackfamilyblog.com Lester Spence

I think there’s some useful information in the original article that folks are missing.

1. the rate of change in black single motherhood is actually the LOWEST among all racial groups.

The number of black single mothers increased 9% compared to last year, while the number for whites increased 14%, and Latinos increased 20%. Our number is still high, but it’s pretty much at a ceiling–it’ll probably go higher but not by much.

2. This trend is not just a black trend, not just an American trend. This is a GLOBAL trend.

This dynamic is happening all over the world. Too big to blame it either on black folk particularly or even on “culture”.

3. This isn’t a matter of kids having kids, but rather of adults making choices.

Compared to previous years the number of teens having kids have dropped, among all racial groups. But the number of women in their twenties, thirties, and forties even, having kids have increased. Many of them are making conscious decisions.

4. Cohabitating is increasing.

Some of these sisters are deciding to have kids and raise them on their own. But many of them are doing so with their partners, but they are deciding not to get married.

Now what do we do with this information?

The route that most of us take is the handwringing route. “This is so horrible.” “We’re going to hell in a handbasket.” “We’ve got to do better.” Focusing solely on black folk. The Washington Post story on how marriage is for white folk (not anymore!) hits this tone.

This route is understandable. But I’d argue that the focus is wrong. Rather than look at what is (increasing single motherhood, increasing cohabitation), and trying to make it what we want to be (increasing married motherhood), we should think about what is and figure out how to make that work. European nations with high single parenthood rates seem to be able to pull that off without ANY of the problems that WE associate with single motherhood. No high crime rates, no high abuse rates, no high poverty rates, no high dropout rates.

What are they doing that we can borrow from?

Lester Spences last blog post..Black Family Karaoke
Marcus aka Mr. Keeps it Real

This is such a broad discussion. Theres so much that needs to be done within our communities to promote getting married before having children. I’m almost afraid to ask what percentage of that statistic are single black mothers. I only hope that the single mothers, though not married, are still reiterrating to their children that marriage is still the best way to go. And this is not to lecture your children in vain. This is something that is factual. A child’s complete demeanor is more positive when with two parents who are happily married.
T. Rogers

@Lester

Cohabitating couples rarely marry, and rarely stay together for the duration of a child’s childhood. Also, cohabitating couples who do marry divorce at higher rates than those who did not live together prior to marriage. Why? I have no idea. But this has been studied pretty thoroughly. Also, from what I have read, non-custodial fathers’ involvement in their children’s lives decreases with time. No, I don’t have studies to reference on hand. These are things I have read repeatedly over the last decade.

Comparing the US to Europe when it comes to child rearing is an apples to oranges comparison. Also, I don’t think we should be happy the rate of change of black single parenthood was the smallest. Single parents as a percentage of our population was already the highest of all ethnic groups.

For this thread everyone needs to read Lamar’s post again and really think about what he is saying.
http://blackfamilyblog.com Lester Spence

@T Rogers, I’ve read Lamar’s post. Lamar’s ideas are the norm both among African Americans and in general.

I’m suggesting we rethink that norm.

“Comparing the US to Europe when it comes to child rearing is an apples to oranges comparison.”

Why?

Lester Spences last blog post..He’s not Malcolm X (but shares his birthday)
Anna

Number of Unwed Mothers Still on The Rise
~~~~~~~~
This may be true but the stats are real. Some are too young to marry, some women want a baby and not a man and marriage. The rate of teen pregnancy has risen but teens don’t go to sperm banks to get pregnant. Some women do get married and later divorce or while married the husband dies. The list only continues. Young kids able to reproduce have babies every day. Am I to have a shot gun wedding to boost the stats of my grandchild(to be) so we have one less unwed mother? I know unwed moms who adopt multiple kids that are not their grandkids, but kids in need. I know where this post was going but I had to add my $.44 cents worth. lol. Sorry for my venting. for those who don’t know, my son is almost 22 and I am going to be a grandma this fall. “to have a shot gun wedding or not is my question?”. I think not. I am a great mom and I do know my grandchid will be in “good hands” with me, him or the childs mom and of course other family. My sign off has been “Never Say Never” and I am so glad they picked out a name for my grand baby that I can say and spell. lol.
Meg_WGBH

2010 marks the 45th anniversary of the publication of The Moynihan Report, a controversial document analyzing the conditions of black families in America. The goal of the report was to communicate ways in which our nation can achieve “the establishment of a stable Negro family structure.” In light of this blog, how have we accomplished or failed to accomplish better conditions and resources for black families? How have changing beliefs about marriage contributed to the state of the black family today?

Tonight on Basic Black, our panelists will examine the state of black families over the past nearly half-century since The Moynihan Report. Join us tonight at 7:30 on WGBH (Channel 2) or online at http://www.basicblack.org, where you can also tell us your thoughts on our live chat.