Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

Just Like Mom

Parenting

by  |  on May 25th, 2009  |  6 comments

by Tara Pringle Jefferson

I don’t need to look into the mirror to realize I’m turning into my mother. I say the exact same things, have the same facial expressions, use the same finger-wagging motion when I want to put emphasis on something I’m saying.

I also have the same “Keep those kids quiet at all costs” mentality my mom has and when these kids ask for something, the words are barely out of their mouths before I’m shoving whatever they asked for in their hands. I’m also really cuddly like my mom and give them more hugs and kisses than they like, I’m sure.

I also take on some of my dad’s traits as well. I stress consequences with my kids and let know they have to think decisions through. While I used to tease my dad because he has never hid his view that he and his kids were better than everyone else, I find myself feeling the exact same way, that my kids are God’s gift to the world.

How much do your parents influence the way you raise your kids? Do you strive to be the same kind of parent your parents were, or do you use their example as what NOT to do?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her keen observations about life, motherhood and love.


About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.



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Comments (6)

  1. Anna Monday - 25 / 05 / 2009 Reply
    Good post. I never want to say the words of my parents, "because I said so". I do have reasons behind it so I don't sound like them. We are our parents children and their words, wisdom and sayings does linger into our parenting our own children and our parents grand children. To sum it up, yes we get older and "turn into our parents". It's not a bad thing if you were raised right. LOL. I am the kind of mom to remind my kids that they will turn into their parents, they cringe and say "no I won't". I laugh so hard. It is what it is. My first born looks like both me and her dad and is bossy and stubborn at the same time(that's a parent(s) trait. Our son looks just like his dad and our last is a mini me but still looks like her siblings. You really do get what you get.
  2. Khristal Monday - 25 / 05 / 2009 Reply
    I am truly a spitting image of my mother, we are just alike. I totally came out okay and when I look back now I think she did a wonderful job although while being younger I didnt agree with everything....lol I raise my children wonderfully because of her. Khristals last blog post..Wecome to Urban Frugal Chic!!!!!!! On this Blog we encourage comments
  3. Lamar Monday - 25 / 05 / 2009 Reply
    Ronnie is just like her mama whether she admits it or not. My mother raised us alone and I often see traits of her in my own parenting so I'll go along with it. Lamars last blog post..Happily Ever After: BMWK Movie Update
  4. Marcus aka Mr. Keeps it real Wednesday - 27 / 05 / 2009 Reply
    Actually I parent differently from my parents. I'm not saying that my parents rasied me wrong or disciplined me wrong, but my mother raised boys and my father raised me as well with my other brother at one point in my life. Now I'm 25 and have a 2 year old...GIRL! So I can't really apply how I was raised to my little girl. I'm completely different when it comes to her upbringing. I show my daughter a lot more attention and patience than my mother and father may have shown me. I don't spank. But I do try to get her to pay attention. She's one to have this glazed over look as she tries to tune you out when you speak to her. I have to be a lot more nurturing than my mother and father as well. However, the more general conducts like making sure she does good in school, eat healthy, has manners, listens, behaves herself is a direct reflection of my parents. Either way I think my parents did a decent job, and I'm not doing too bad myself.
  5. Courtney Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply
    As I was reading this post, i began to think of the millions of ways I am like my mama when it comes to parenting. I have incorporated the great, good, bad, and ugly ways she parented into my parenting style. My parents had completely different ways of parenting. My mother was a keep quiet, stay out of my things, hands and feet of the furniture, ask before doing anything type parent. My father was and still is I will give my opinion, which is really an order, but do what you want as long as you're not mad at me, and if you tell me how special I am to you, nothing else matters type parent. What's even funnier is that my husband and I are completely different. His has one motto, "If no one is bleeding, everything is fine!" Courtneys last blog post..Show Me!