Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

Comments (16)

1. 

   Smooth Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   I learned the hard way, the paying of bills should be a joint effort because when only one person handles it, they soon become tired of all that responsibility on their shoulders, and it makes both of you more aware about spending. Money can bring a lot of uncesary debates within a household.....don't let it happen to your happy home.
2. 

   CartersMom Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   I handle all the bills and finances in our our home. My husband is really irresponsible with money and from the moment we got married I took control of all of our finances, it seems to work for us, but right now we are have major issues becaue I am trying to save and reduce our credit card balances and he continues to use them. We are having a good old talk about it tonigh. Wish me luck
3. 

   Lamar Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   @CartersMom - Good luck, I hope it turns out well and something gets accomplished. Lamars last blog post..BMWK Editor’s VLOG
4. 

   Donielle Michele Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   For the most part, I handle the bills. However, my husband is well aware of our financial obligations. We talk about them all the time and I make sure he is up to date with what needs to be handled every month. As far as financial woes affecting our marriage, I don't think they ever will. My husband and I used to live in a basement apartment, with two full time jobs making minimum wage(taking the bus), and going to school full time (both of us at the same time). So, we were used to hustling and making due with what we had. We love each other past the money so it doesn't cause a problem. We were broke together and we will be millionaires together. That's how a marriage should be.
5. 

   Mom of 3 Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   My husband used to handle all of the bills and manage the money in our house. We recently separated and I am now trying to figure out all the finances. This situation has made me realize that I should have paid more attention to the finances and not allow my husband to handle all of it. Thankfully, he is beyond cheap, so there was no mismanagement of the money, I am just trying to figure out who to pay and when it is due.
6. 

   Jonesi Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   Honestly I rather not have any part in the finances BUT once I get married I will make an effort to become involved in the process. I will admit I am very irresponsible when it comes to money but I want to change that. I come from a single-parent home where I don't remember too many instances where I didn't get what I wanted. That said, that eventually took a major, detrimental tole on my mother's financial situation and I want to take that experience as a lesson to do better with my own family and children. My fiance is a guru when it comes to fiscal responsibility now (in the past not so much) and I admire his ability to set a budget and stick to it. With the cost of having a decent wedding, I know we will have to spend the first couple years of our marriage learning how to collectively manage our finances....basically I need to learn how to not spend so much! But knowing he will be in control is a blessing because I know he will always make sure we are ok :-) (I just want to know for myself as well which is why I will be planning monthly financial meetings so we will always be on the same page).
7. 

   Tara Pringle Jefferson Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   @ Jonesi - I tried that whole monthly financial meetings thing with my hubby and he just wasn't interested. I want to start it back up - thanks for sharing! :) Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..Ask the Young Mommy readers: advice to a mommy-to-be (one day)
8. 

   Jonesi Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   @Tara - What about it made him uninterested? Because I want to be sure not to do that (lol). Come to think of it, he seems to have a fiscal mentality like mine so I KNOW why he was uninterested, but maybe since I am initiating my interest to take part in something I rather not, then I think my fiance will appreciate that. I just gotta make sure I'm really paying attention in the meeting lol. *oh yea I got your message on fb, the wedding is Oct. 24th...it DOES seem like forever lol*
9. 

   Harriet Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

   Your question almost made me cuss, Tara. LOL I gotta stay saved up in here, though. Technically, I'm responsible for the finances, but planning and budgeting don't mean much if every time we get paid, the money goes towards something that's not in our plan or budget. Whether it's an emergency or a ticket or whatever, I lost control long ago. Everything looks great on paper, but the rest isn't adding up. Lately, my husband has realized the bind this has put us in, but right now, it's too little too late. We're praying for a miracle. For a time, it was what CartersMom said. Then is just spiraled out of control to the point that we have more month than money. But anyway...when we come out of it, the plan and budget will be followed to a tee, and we'll have something left over for the times we want to let our hair hang out or for emergencies.
10. 

    Tara Pringle Jefferson Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

    @ Jonesi - Okay, so don't laugh. I tried to do this whole "Romance over finance" date night thing, where we would either cook a meal or order takeout, sit on the floor or at the table with our food and bank statements and stuff and just see how much we had left over after bills and whatnot. I thought it would be a fun way of handling the money and talking about our future, but he just wanted the romance bit. Granted, we're nowhere near broke but I want to keep it that way. I did get a little anal when he didn't tell me the exact amount he got paid every month - he kept rounding up. Like sir, I need to know down to the penny how much comes in this house! You don't make ABOUT $3,000 a month - you make $2,956. (Not the real amount by the way.) The bank doesn't look at that 2$2,956 and say, "Oh, close enough to $3,000 - let's just give them the extra $44." I wish! LOL. Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..Ask the Young Mommy readers: advice to a mommy-to-be (one day)
11. 

    Lamar Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

    We kind of split up the bills along the lines of who pays what then we each handle that. I'm aware of what bills she pays and vice versa. I think we both have a rough idea of the costs of those bills but are still trying to make sure we're handling this the best way so that everything gets taken care of in the best manner without someone feeling stressed by doing it all like Smooth mentioned above. BTW... we have a Dear BMWK post that I'm sure everyone will want to sink their teeth into tomorrow so be sure to check back early in the AM. One of our female readers is reaching out for advice and we're going to toss it up for the group. Lamars last blog post..BMWK Editor’s VLOG
12. 

    Unique Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

    OH!!! This is a SORE subject in our household. My husband and I have been together for 22-years and he was in the U.S. Navy for 20 of them. During that time, I've been the one left home alone 6-months at a time to take care of 2-3 children which includes all the bills. It was ruff during the early years when the kids were little with daycare, clothing, etc..., so my husband really didn't know what it takes to raise a family because I did it ALL. When he retired from the Navy and return to work as a Civil Servant, I felt as though he should pay all of the bills i.e., mortgage, taxes, utilities, car payment, car insurance, car maintenance, etc...after all he gets both a retirement check and a nice paycheck every 2-weeks. My responsibility is the medical insurances, medical expenses, food, clothing, and not to mention the needs of our 3-kids. However, he wants me to take over the car insurance, cell phone, home phone, cable, internet service and home security bills as well. He makes enough money that he doesn't have to touch his retirement check every month. He can save it and me on the other hand is struggling from paycheck to paycheck because we have a daughter who is a Senior in high school and we all know how expensive a Senior year is especially for a girl. We've had MANY fights about finances over the years, and we both made mistakes in the past in regards to them, but I wanted to put the past behind us and start fresh especially when we moved into our new home. I wanted us to combine 2/3 of our pay each payday and pay all the bills together, and still save his retirement check for college and emergency funds. However, he wouldn't do that and keeps all of his money to himself. I'm just venting because he doesn't have a CLUE when it comes to taking care of a household not to mention children because I've done it all including the clothes he wears on his back. While he gets to save money in the hundreds, I can't seem to save a dollar. With our oldest starting college in the Fall, I've decided to let him take the lead with her college expenses. Whenever the kids need something, I make them go ask their father for the money because I'm tired of being BROKE each payday! Forgive me, but I get a little HEATED when it comes to this subject. I personally feel it's a CONTROL issue for my husband!
13. 

    T. Rogers Thursday - 28 / 05 / 2009 Reply

    We basically divide the duties. I am better a planning and strategizing. She is much better with day to day details. So basically I create the budget and many of our financial goals and she holds us too it. This works best for us. At one point I tried to handle the details of when bills were do and how much needed to paid,etc. It didn't work out well. When she took over that part things started moving a lot smoother. @Harriet, I wish you the best. We went through a really rough patch financially a few years ago. It WILL get better. Just be patient.
14. 

    Grumpy Groom Friday - 29 / 05 / 2009 Reply

    My friends give me grief for living sparsely. As my groomsman likes to say (sarcastically), "Nothing says success like a studio apartment." But in these lean times, I'm VERY happy that I know how to be frugal. My Bride to Be appreciates it, too. It helps make the recession more manageable for us both. We don't argue about money nearly as much as we used to, but "Mo' Money, Mo' Meltdowns" stil happens once in a while in our relationship! I generally pay the bills but we do share a "wedding" credit card.
15. 

    Imee Tuesday - 02 / 06 / 2009 Reply

    Wow, I think we have a similar childhood! I'm not married or living with anyone, but if I were I'd take my finances seriously with the guy. We all have to be responsible with our money, not just one person per household.
16. 

    ruffyy Tuesday - 02 / 06 / 2009 Reply

    I believe that our kids suffer from generational, progressional, affluential syndrome. This is when each generation gains a little more wealth and prestige. I remember I started being good in July thinking about Christmas. In September I started watching what the hot toys were going to be, decide by October and put my requests in and my mother was able to hold it over me like the sword of Damecles. Today with my own kids everyday is that Christmas day exerience. What my mom sweated for I just pull out of my pocket. But I'm a professional shopper. I can wait for the right price or know when and where to buy. But my kids ask me for money everyday and not just five dollars either. I have to remind them I don't cram a debit card where the sun don't shine and just pull out decades of dollars. I believe they they have no concept of what money is or where it comes from. But they are enabled because of my scarred impoverished past.