I Pray For You

Relationships

by Lamar Tyler | on June 8th, 2009 | 20 comments

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Some married friends of ours gave me and my husband matching books as a wedding gift. He received The Power of a Praying Husband and I received The Power of a Praying Wife. (Both books are by Stormie Omartian.) In each, she discusses how profound changes in a marriage can occur when one spouse makes it their duty to pray for the other.

When our marriage was particularly strained, I picked it up and read a few chapters and quickly put the book down. She was talking about praying for your spouse wholeheartedly and unselfishly; that if you were having troubles, pray that God will change YOU.

I admit I wasn’t ready for that. Here I am, busting my butt everyday to make this marriage work and I’m supposed to ask God to change ME? Nonsense.

But over the next couple days I couldn’t take the stress anymore so I began to pray. “Lord, please make me who I need to be to make this marriage work. You know I love him and I know he loves me, so please change me.”

I would read a chapter a day right before bed and say my nightly prayer before I went to sleep.

Slowly, I began to see changes. I wasn’t so tense anymore. I didn’t nag him about making the changes I so desperately wanted to see in his personality. And then…

My husband began to pick up those funky socks off the floor.

He came home early and cooked dinner so I could relax after work. He’d buy me flowers.

He’d give massages without asking.

He’d ask how my day was and actually LISTEN.

It was almost miraculous. When I focused on getting him to change, I got nowhere. When I focused on myself, things happened.

What about you? Do you frequently pray for your partner? Has prayer lifted you out of a particularly rough patch in your marriage?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

Mom of 3

My husband and I separated a month or so ago. Since we have been separated, I have found myself praying for him more. I have felt the anger I have had inside for him (and his mother) subsiding day by day. I was praying for him before, and asking God to change me so that I can better understand my husband, but I was not praying in faith and really believing that I needed to be changed but I was moreso believing that my husband needed to be changed. Now I am focusing on praying for my husband but also asking God to truly change me and that His will for my marriage be done.
Smooth

This is truly awesome, prayer does work and prayers does change things. We so often look for others to change or be what we want them to be but as stated we must work on ourselves. “Lord, Change Me” was the book that made a difference in my life. When others see the change in you, they will change also. Be Blessed!
DEDE

@smooth
do you remember who wrote the book ” lord change me” i would like to buy it.
God is still in the miracle working business, pray does work.
http://www.wisdomswork.com Donielle Michele

I pray for my husband and family all the time. We have never had any real rough patches in our marriage but prayer is something you do everyday not just when you feel you need Him.
Harriet

I’m over here laughing, because I think prayer is one of those spiritual exercises where you have license to fake it until you make it. LOL.

There have been so many times that I wanted to pray AGAINST my husband, but I knew that wasn’t the right thing to do. Nevertheless, that didn’t negate the fact that I wanted the Lord to teach him a harsh lesson and to put him in my shoes so he could see how he was hurting me with his words and actions.

I had to learn that if he loses, WE lose, and the same vice versa. I had to learn to press through and let the Lord kill some stuff in ME that made me want to wish my husband difficulty.

I faked it, but I told the Lord I was faking it, and the only reason I was doing it was because He wanted me to. Like a spoiled child, I sulked the whole time, rolling my eyes in my prayer closet and moving on to more selfish intercession.

But somewhere along the way, the bitterness melted and in its place came the desire that the Lord gave me to pray for his best with sincerity. This is a literal experience of submitting myself to the Lord, and Him giving me the desires of my heart. Not the selfish desires to get back at him, but the holy, righteous and loving desire to pray for him with all sincerity and genuineness.
Precious Diva

I am so blessed to have found this website. I was just thinking about how much I need to pray more for my husband and how I was faking it as well. We are still newlyweds and it seems like everything is being thrown at us. I am having surgery, our house was broken into, my car was broken into, I am not able to get pregnant just yet, and anything else you can think of. I am nagging and I guess its just so much stress.He is upset becasue he feels like he is being pulled into this and he is just a tired as me. But I will ask God to change me and stop trying to change me. I see that now…Thank you so much…
http://www.mrkingjames.blogspot.com King James

Harriet has SOO many issues!

anyway.. awww.. this made me all mushy inside.

King Jamess last blog post..U Right Dad
Harriet

I’ve got subscriptions, KJ…but God has me, so even with all of it, I’m still good. P

I’m like my man Bernie Mac: I just say what you’re thinking but are too scared and politically correct to utter. LOL
Shawnta`

I agree; The Power of a Praying Wife & The Power of a Praying Husband are excellent books. Our married couples care group (small group) did these books. I really like the prayers in the book.
busybodyk

Wonderful post. I believe prayer works and our marriages need it more than others.
Karyn

I purchased those books for both my husband and myself. What lessons! I think every couple who plans to marry needs to read those. It is an honest eye-opener for sure.
Yolanda (The Queen)

I’ve heard so many times during sermons about deliverance from being a “self-centered jerk.” Many times, I would visualize others fitting into this category…rather than myself. I am a witness that praying for your spouse is powerful. You have to allow God to truly come into your life and take over all the “filthiness” within your self…nagging, selfishness, finger pointing, “get back”, etc. When you allow God to fix you, through his word, everything else will fall into place. Thanks for sharing these books with us. I plan to add them to our collection.
LaNeitria

Wow! This is great stuff! The anointing is all over this topic. Even though I am not married, I believe this advise applies to all kinds of relationships.
Mack

I was told about the book “The Power of a Praying Husband” by my girlfriend (now my fience’), who had purchased and read “The Power of a Praying Wife”. She mentioned it in conversation, and I bought it. Once I picked it up, I couldn’t put it down. Having been married before, and not worked, I never really paid attention to how TRULY important prayer was in a marriage. My fience’ and I worked on building our relationship with God as part of its foundation and continue to do so. I prayed for certain things about her as discussed in the book, but I also prayed for things about me. Our relationship and now engagement has been one to testify about. I would encourge not only people who are currently married, or going through problems in their marriage to read the books, but also those who are in a relationship and working towards something longterm. Its a wonderful read, and will truly open your eyes to some wonderful things. God Bless.
http://babyheaddiary.blogspot.com/ Knwill

My husband and I were close to separating a few months back, I mean close as in separation papers printed out ready to be signed and notarized. I didn’t want to leave or my husband to leave, but it seemed like we were at an impasse in our relationship. Here we were married for 3 years and with a 2 year old son and ready to throw it all away. I bought the book the The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage by the same author as the aforementioned books and it really helped to make a change in me. I believe that change has helped to secure our marriage and make us grow closer together. My husband has not read the book yet, but he’s said he will and I believe that when he does it will help us to grow even closer together. Oh yeah, the separation has been called off and we celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary last month!
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com Lamar

@Knwill- Congratulations on your anniversary, there was truly a reason to celebrate and I commend you and your husband on putting in the work and not giving up!

Lamars last blog post..Website Wednesday: 1 Stop Mom
prayerwarrior

Amen Pray For Israel & Jews… & Pray For USA

In God We Trust

God Bless USA

God Bless USA Men’s, & Women’s Troops

Exo.15:26 I am the Lord that healeth thee

Pray For Our Youth & Young Adults. In The Name Of Jesus Christ
A family that prays together stays together.

Be Blessed &

Please Pray for Street Bullies In The Name Of Jesus Christ & Pray For School Pray For The Family Live Be side me & Around me. Bless There Home & Work & School. Bless There health to, & The One’s who do not know Jesus As There Saver Salvation will Get Saved In the Blood Of Jesus.

Prayer of a Mother whose children are no longer at home. In The Name Of Jesus Christ

In God We Trust

God Bless USA

God Bless USA Men’s, & Women’s Troops
Prays for President Obama and Wife, & Children’s and his new administration. Your efforts will work powerfully in our nation. In The Name of Jesus Christ
Pray For Israel & Jews… Pray For Mother In Israel. “Brethren, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they may be saved” Romans 10:1
Pray For USA Mothers, & russians women, Pray For Muslim Women To, Please. Pray For Working Mothers, Pray For Single Mothers, & Single Great Grain. Will Have Peace in There Heart. Mothers Who Do Not Know U As There Saver Salvation Will Get Saved In the Blood Of Jesus Christ

Pray for Your Brothers and Sisters in Jesus Christ:
The Apostle Paul gives us two prayer examples of what to pray for regarding the Body of Christ in Ephesians 1:15-23 and 3:14-21. Pray these prayers for your Church Leaders, your Brothers and Sisters in Christ, and for yourself.
God promised Abraham He will bless those who blessed him and curse those who curse him. This promise was not only for Abraham, but for all of his covenant descendants – the Jewish people. Pray that our leaders will make the correct decisions to make our country a blessing to Israel. Also, Christians need to pray that the nation of Israel will recognize the Lord Jesus Christ as their Messiah and Savior, that they will have peace and success, and that they will possesses the land that God has promised them. (Genesis 12:2-3, 15:18-21, 17:8, 17:21, 22:15-18, Deuteronomy 30:2-5)
Pray For World Homeless Families. & Please Pray For Homeless Women to… In The Name of Jesus Christ & all There health Problem In The Name Of Jesus Christ

Pray For In The Name Of Jesus Christ

Prays for President Obama and Wife, & Children’s and his new administration. Your efforts will work powerfully in our nation.
Attorney General
—Eric Holder
Secretary of State
—Hillary Clinton
Chief of Staff
—Rahm Emanuel
Chair, Council of Economic Advisers
—Christina Romer
President: George W. Bush
Vice-President: Richard Cheney
Secretary of State: Colin L. Powell
Secretary of Treasury: Paul O’Neill
Secretary of Defense: Donald Rumsfeld
Attorney General: John Ashcroft
Secretary of the Interior: Gale Norton
Secretary of Agriculture: Ann Veneman
Secretary of Commerce: Donald L. Evans
Secretary of Labor: Elaine Chao
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Tommy Thompson
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Mel Martinez
Secretary of Transportation: Norman Mineta
Secretary of Energy: Bill Richardson
Secretary of Education: Rod Paige
Secretary of Veteran Affairs: Anthony Principi

Supreme Court Justices:
William H. Rehnquist (Chief Justice)
David Souter
Sandra Day-O’Connor
Clarence Thomas
Anthony Kennedy
Antonin Scalia
Steven Breyer
John P. Stevens
Ruth Bader Ginsberg

If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” (NIV)

In The Name Of Jesus Christ I Pray Amen

“BUT MY GOD SHALL SUPPLY ALL YOUR NEED

ACORDING TO HIS RICHES IN GLORY

BY CHRIST JESUS PHILIPPIANS 4:19

HE SUPPLIES WHAT WE BELIEVE HIM FOR

NOT WHAT WE WISH FOR

HAVE FAITH IN GOD

HE IS ABLE
Married2Cage

I feel so much better. I cant believe how much I prayed for God to change my husband when the whole time I needed to pray for Him to change me! My husband and I have been married for almost two years and we have reconciled since our separation. Since then so many mouths and ears have been open and I dont know if I should trust my husband. I really want to though, I just have trouble believing that people will go so far to make trouble in other’s homes.I love my husband and now I refuse to be so self centered and angry.We love our son and we are now realizing that we are worth fighting for! Pray for us yall, Im yet praying for all of you!!!
OMOLARA KIM

it is well with you Married2Cage.

It cant be easy being married eventhough I used to think it was(until God opened my eyes).

All of a sudden I find myself praying for married couples..the ones I know and do not know.

It is a real challenge which I know God will see everyone through.

Though not married myself, I still pray and sow seeds for my marriage and children. PRAYER IS KEY.

I pray God will never stop listening and answering our prayers. I pray the world will come to know his love, mercy, forgiveness is real. THANK U JESUS for interceding for us daily. IT IS BY Your Grace.
OMOLARA KIM

it is well with you Married2Cage.

It cant be easy being married eventhough I used to think it was(until God opened my eyes).

All of a sudden I find myself praying for married couples..the ones I know and do not know.

It is a real challenge which I know God will see everyone through.

Though not married myself, I still pray and sow seeds for my marriage and children. PRAYER IS KEY.

I pray God will never stop listening and answering our prayers. I pray the world will come to know his love, mercy, forgiveness is real. THANK U JESUS for interceding for us daily. IT IS BY Your Grace.

I Pray For You

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