A Soulful Relationship
(I go t this via email and thought I’d share. Not sure who the original author is.)
If you’re not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married,
share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it. An
African proverb states, “Before you get married, keep both eyes open,
and after you marry, close one eye.”
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don’t let
lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low
self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and
don’t fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as
faults are not really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws,
vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.
If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve,
you’ve got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing
bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations,
emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two
unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you
bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with
each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring
to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past
mistrust, past pain?
You can’t take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can’t make
someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem,
spiritual discernment, and “a life”, you won’t find yourself making
someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your
pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, deceitfulness, neediness, and
selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and
lasting relationship.
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in
a relationship.
Q. What keeps a relationship strong?
Answer: Communication, intimacy (not sex), trust, a sense of humor,
sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children
and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch,
a note), sharing common goals and interests. Leave a nice message on
their voice mail or send a nice email.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving
each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to
have outside interest. You can’t always be together. Give each other a
sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don’t try to control
one another.
Learn each others family situation. Respect his or her parents
regardless.
Don’t put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for
richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship
will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and
pain will replace the passion.
Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher
than you think.” The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the word of
God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8. Shall we make a new rule of life from
tonight?
Always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary. The difference
between ‘United’ and ‘Untied’ is where you put the ?I?. Life is not
measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take
our breath away.
BMWK, is any of this info true? Tell us what was on point and what you didn’t agre with.
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