Big Pimpin’ (Steve McNair)

lauren, he was cheating on kazemi with another girl, and yea it is his fault partly, he’d be alive if he wasn’t cheating on his wife.

This is such an interesting discussion….but, I’m respectfully asking, what’s the ’cause’here? Because he cheated (we still don’t know if he was separated from his wife) or because he chose to date someone with a mental illness/unstable personality?

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I also Agree with Lamar.

If it was a random guy who was seen about town with a woman who wasnt his wife, vacationed with said woman who wasnt his wife, constantly at the home of said woman, and got a car in his name for said woman who was not his wife this would be a no-brainer. The man was cheating!

I totally get you Harriet. We all do things that are wrong and we need to reflect on and turn aways from those things because you never know what consequences will occur. This unfortunate murder-suicide stemmed from the sin of adultery. The Bible says you reap what you sow, the world says karma is a *****! And as mentioned before…this situation would not have occured if he had been home with his family.

And just for clarification. The Bible mentions judging a lot. But it never said to not call right right and wrong wrong. It says not to judge, meaning condemn someone to their final destination or beyond any help or redemption because of their actions. God sits in the judgement seat, he decides when you’re at the end of your rope. That doesnt mean that a Christian cannot say that adultery is wrong. As a matter of fact we have a duty to stand up for righteousness. The requirement for this stand is that we make sure that the log is out of our own eye before we point out the speck in someone else’s.(MAtthew 7) I.E. dont be hypocritical and castigate someone for adultery when you are also guilty of it.

I am a big fan of football and I did enjoy McNair. But as with anyone we should learn from their mistakes lest we fall.

My prayers and condolances go out to the family. It must be extremely painful to lose a spouse but to have to deal with the betrayal and public knowledge of that betrayal must provoke very conflicting feelings of sorrow, anger and guilt.

Lets all let this make us better people.

Beautiful this was and is a great article, you spoke the truth without compromising words and you spoke from your heart. Your words were Holy Ghost inspired and I congratulate you for doing that. Alot of people are upset you spoke truth, but they will get over it. Yes he messing around with this 20 year old did cause his death. He created a soul tie with this young girl and she couldn’t handle it.

@LilKunta

Get your head out of the clouds, pimping is the best word for it, whether seperated or not. Marriage wasn’t created for you to try out to see if you want this wife/husband or not, it is a convenant ordained by God. So yes it’s still pimping to be seperated and be with another woman. Yes there are some issues where seperation and divorce are in need. Now if a woman is getting her head bashed to the white meat, then yea divorce, run, skip, or jump up out of the marriage. Or if there is verbal and mental abuse get out. With that said if you get out of a marriage and you are seperated and you already having sex with someone else, you pimping.
Now you told my wife to put her bible down and pick up a law book, well that AINT going to happen the law was founded off the bible so even you with your law book in your hand have a bible. But basically you were asking her to become street witcha, thats me not her. So here we go me and you both know he was a pimp and had he not got shot to death and it came out he was just cheating and had two girls on the side you would congratulate him as being a pimp. You even know it was wrong in your heart what he did, be because you proably his number one fan, you’ ll let it slide just to uphold his rep on the feild. Then you say “judge not” man please mcnair showed the world the verdict “Guilty” of being a pimp and having a tragic end. Man we need black men to rep right and the way we do that is have character on and off the field. Now 4 boys, no daddy, cause they daddy wanted to be a pimp. It is what it is. So stop idolizing the man and be honest with yourself and see that his ACTIONS cause his death. Think about it if I smack you, you going to smack me back. My actions cause that. So he slept with her, got her emotions in it, she was unstable in her emotions, bang PIMP dead. So my wife spoke truth as she always do, stop hating cause she said what you ain’t man enough to public say.Freedom of speech, don’t judge me, I still have love for ya.
@Lamar
Thanks for posting my wife article

Everytime we have an opinion on something is it really judging. I think that’s kind of thrown around loosely every time someone doesn’t agree with you. Saw a lot of that in the post we had saying we didn’t believe in open marriage- then everyone came out of the woodworks saying we shouldn’t judge them. Well guess what, I don’t believe in it and I think it’s wrong.

Back to the point…From what we do know they say the man was married and wasn’t getting a divorce. I don’t believe a married man should be in that situation. That’s my belief.

Also how everyone is so quick to condemn the girl don’t forget she was just that A GIRL. She just turned 20 so when they met she was 19. Now any 36 y/o man I know can turn a 19/20 y/o’s head out by just taking her to Forever 21 for a T Shirt or Cheesecake Factory. Imagine if the guy they were dating was a multi-millionaire celebrity who she thought would be her husband some day that co-signed a slick ride and took you on trips in just a few short months? Now I’m not saying she was justified in anyway but basically she was immature in her thinking as most 19/20 year olds are plus there was something else going on there perhaps from a mental standpoint. If we’re going to look at it lets look at it but don’t absolve him from the situation or any wrongdoing because he laced up his cleats on Sunday afternoon.

As stated before would the conversation be the same if he was a regular dude?

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@ Danielle,

You said, “He could have ended up dead if she was just his babysitter, housekeeper, or personal assistant.”

From a spiritual standpoint, I disagree. Mr. McNair didn’t approach her to hire her as a babysitter, housekeeper or PA. He approached her with an indecent proposal.

If I had been 20 years old, without a foundation in the Bible and in church, broke and struggling, I probably would have taken the bait of his dollar signs and status as well. No lie. And if her emotions were already unstable, that becomes a recipe for disaster as all the world can clearly see.

@ LaKeysha,

Thank you, sis, for differentiating between what the average person sees as “judging” vs. what it actually is. The same Bible I hold dear is clear on us understanding the difference between holy and unholy, clean and unclean, righteous and unrighteous. Jesus said Himself that we would know others not by their status or fortune, but by their fruit. It’s incumbent upon EVERYONE to make observations about their own lives as well as the lives of others based on the fruit thereof. Not based on their outward circumstances, but the conditions of their hearts and our own.

@ Curvy,

You said, “What if his children or his family read some of these comments. How do you think they would feel? I think we need to show a little more compassion and understanding for all parties involved.”

EXCELLENT point! I was just talking to my co-worker about how Mrs. McNair must feel. The woman found out her husband was dead. Then she found out he was cheating on her, and a natural knee jerk reaction would be to WISH he was dead. But then BAM, the reality hits her again that he actually IS dead. Jesus, have mercy! The pain she is having to endure right now is beyond my ability to comprehend.

@ Lamar,

Thank you for pointing that out. It seems like every time someone rocks the boat with an assertion that’s opposite what society thinks, they’re being judgmental. Since we’re on laws, thank God for the First Amendment right to free speech!

****

Bottom line: this is an unfortunate incident, and we ALL could stand to learn something from it.

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@ Danielle,

True, true. We certainly don’t.

Harriets last blog post..Right vs. Acceptable

*raising my hand* @ curvy

I’ve made mention of my original question many times in my commentary as well as in the article.

But you’re right. The tragedy is that he never got the chance to fix it while we are still enjoying oxygen and being given another dosage of grace and mercy to get it right.

For example, the disagreement between lilkunta and I was unnecessary, given the fact that we were coming from two totally different frames of reference. I apologized for that fact, but it seems the damage was already done.

Bottom line (again) is that this is an unfortunate incident, and we ALL could stand to learn something from it.

Harriets last blog post..Right vs. Acceptable

Yes, you should have! And the wages for you not making mention of that GLARING fact is another bin of cookies. Pay up! LOL

Harriets last blog post..Right vs. Acceptable

Did he elaborate on that ‘something’? What could they be searching for? I certainly imagine that they have it all?

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@ patrick : Your wife titled this post a pop culture term then tried to get religious. That sh*t aint working on me.
You & her keep drinking that koolaid. Prolly flavour “red”.

@lil kunta:

We prefer Ice Tea….

@Harriet

Eddie George is full of B.S.

I feel bad for his wife, but I highly doubt this was his first affair and that she was not aware of his girls on the side.
Many top athletes, actors, musicians etc who once they make it big, get offered free pussy (or dick) and most spouses just ignore it.
Surely Sahel was unstable but I guess easy impressable. Why would she actually believe this married man would leave his wife for her? Guess he told her that line to keep her by his side.
It’s unfortunate how this whole ting played out, hopefully those who like to cheat now think twice before doing so.

@ Danielle,

I think to some extent that’s a cop out on the part of your friend. Am I saying that what Ms. Kazemi did was right? Not at all. But who was the more mature one in this situation? Mr. McNair.

Yeah, she was a little on the insane side, and had she lived, I’m sure she would have suffered quite a bit from many sides. If she had lived after murdering McNair:

- The entire world would have come against her, from his wife to his children to the police to the media. She’s not around to deal with that at all.

- She probably would have had to go into protective custody…Mr. McNair’s boys are NFL players, for God’s sake! They probably would have been ready to kill her themselves!

- No matter how angry his wife was that Ms. Kazemi was the “other woman,” if she had lived, you can believe Mrs. McNair would have been in her grill at every court date to ensure the full measure of the law was taken against her.

In some senses I agree with your friend, but hypothetically if Ms. Kazemi had lived, I believe she would have been held accountable in EVERYONE’S eyes ONLY because McNair was a rich and famous athlete. But in any other case we hear about in the news about XY or Z, I think your friend’s assessment is correct.

Finally, a double standard that doesn’t go well in a man’s favor. LOL (that was really just a joke…I’m not a feminist. wouldn’t want lilkunta to come and get me again ROFL).

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Thanks for the comment, Mrs. S.!

There was a lot of depth to what you were saying, and I’m going to try to address each point you made within this comment.

You said, “if you are legally separated, technically, if it is understood between both parties, you can go your own way. Just because I think it may be wrong, doesn’t make it a “euphemism for adultery” especially if two consenting adults are okay with agreement.”

Once again, the point of view I’m coming from is strictly a biblical one. God HATES divorce. There are certain instances in the Bible and in modern day where it is necessary (children in jeopardy, abuse, adultery just to name a few), but overall, the institution of marriage was the FIRST one God created, even before He created the church. So although I’m glad there are laws in place to allow two consenting adults to do what they want to do, I still don’t agree with it from a BIBLICAL worldview.

You also said, “Also, I don’t agree with the disrespectful way that lilkunta came at you, but her point about using religion as a debate point, but titling a post “Big Pimpin’ “, does in my opinion, seem a bit contradictory to me as well.”

I quoted a song from a gospel music artist, and then wove that quote into my article. I realize there is a song called “Big Pimpin’” out there in the mainstream as well, but the quote was not from that song. I hope you don’t mind my answering your comment with a question of my own: is there a problem with a Christian being relevant to modern society? Just because I’m saved, that doesn’t mean my head is buried in the sand.

First, I have not always carried myself in a holy manner, so I can relate to the term “Big Pimpin’” on that aspect. Additionally, how would I reach others within the world by using strictly Christian terms? Would you have preferred me to entitle the article, “Thou Adulterer!” Would you have continued to read if I had quoted Job 24:15 (“The eye also of the adulterer waiteth for the twilight, saying, No eye shall see me: and disguiseth his face.”) from the King James Version? As a Christian, I have to remain relevant in order to even attempt to reach others with the voice God has given me, whether I’m at work and carrying myself professionally, or on the street doing evangelism. I can’t knock on someone’s door and walk in their home praying in tongues! LOL How is that going to open any kind of dialog?

To be continued…

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As far as lilkunta is concerned, the root of that “discussion” was based on the fact that we were on two different wavelengths. I can’t discuss apples if you’re talking about oranges. It was totally unnecessary on both of our parts.

But to be honest, it became a running joke in my home between my husband and I (over glasses of sweet iced tea). We often wondered how we would have responded had we not been saved. We probably would have shown our tails! LOL

Once again, thanks for the comment, Mrs. S.!

Thank you Harriet for your very detailed response. I’m going to try and answer all your questions and clarify a few things in the process.

nce again, the point of view I’m coming from is strictly a biblical one. God HATES divorce. There are certain instances in the Bible and in modern day where it is necessary (children in jeopardy, abuse, adultery just to name a few), but overall, the institution of marriage was the FIRST one God created, even before He created the church. So although I’m glad there are laws in place to allow two consenting adults to do what they want to do, I still don’t agree with it from a BIBLICAL worldview.

I am a christian woman as well, with her own crazy, convuluted past so I can see, from a biblical standpoint why you have your outlook. In my opinion, however, God doesn’t want us to be miserable and abused as well. I don’t think that a person should stay in a marriage if they are constantly being mistreated and disrespected either, or if they have tried every avenue that they could and nothing worked. Sometimes people need to go their own ways. Now, I have a question for you, you say that from your standpoint, which is strictly a biblical one, that you do not believe in Divorce, because God hates divorce. When it comes to situations such as an abusive marriage, do you believe that the two couples should stay together then? It’s just that I see a flaw in not necessarily your thinking, but looking at marriage from a specific biblical standpoint. It seems too extreme, especially because marriages are often complex and grey, not necessarily black and white. I’m curious to see what you think of this.

I quoted a song from a gospel music artist, and then wove that quote into my article. I realize there is a song called “Big Pimpin’” out there in the mainstream as well, but the quote was not from that song. I hope you don’t mind my answering your comment with a question of my own: is there a problem with a Christian being relevant to modern society? Just because I’m saved, that doesn’t mean my head is buried in the sand.

First, I have not always carried myself in a holy manner, so I can relate to the term “Big Pimpin’” on that aspect. Additionally, how would I reach others within the world by using strictly Christian terms? Would you have preferred me to entitle the article, “Thou Adulterer!” Would you have continued to read if I had quoted Job 24:15 (”The eye also of the adulterer waiteth for the twilight, saying, No eye shall see me: and disguiseth his face.”) from the King James Version? As a Christian, I have to remain relevant in order to even attempt to reach others with the voice God has given me, whether I’m at work and carrying myself professionally, or on the street doing evangelism. I can’t knock on someone’s door and walk in their home praying in tongues! ”

Even though I found your reply slightly on the defensive side, I completely understand. I actually thought of this as soon as I posted. As a Christian woman I often have to do the same things with others. Nowadays, mixing modern relevance subjects with texts such as the Old Testament is a must in communicating to others who are not familiar with Christian workings.

inally, you said, “If I’m wrong, let me know, but in some ways, it seems as though you are implying that being a feminist is a bad thing.”

I am feminine, but not a feminist. I agree with equal pay for equal work. I agree with a woman being safe from foolishness like sexual harrassment and discrimination based on gender. What I DON’T agree with in the feminist movement (radical feminism, that is) is the marginalization of men. I don’t agree that in order to get my way as a woman, I have to make a man feel like a little boy.

Every movement comes with an inherent responsibility towards BALANCE. There are many ways in which Fundamentalism in Christianity has done much more damage than good. It has caused many to approach situations like the one we see with Mr. McNair with contempt and condemnation rather than love and self-reflection. I have issues with that.

I also have issues with a feminine movement that would–and please pardon my banter, but this is the best way I can think of to state it–require a woman to cut off a man’s testicles and wear them around her neck as a prized trophy. I have issues with trying to make a man feel less than a man just so I can feel like more of a woman (hear me roar).”

Okay finally getting to the last portion of your reply. Based upon your assessment of the feminist movement I would strongly suggest you educate yourself about the background of the movement, and speak to other modern feminists, before coming to such extreme, and no disrespect intended, ignorant conclusions. I think you hit a good point in your first paragraph, you said that your issue is mainly with Radical Feminism, but then you made a generalization later about the feminist movement as a whole. The feminist movement is about cutting off a man’s testicles just to make me feel like a stronger woman. Crazy enough, I recently wrote an small essay about the feminist woman, and emasculation of men, and I posted it on my facebook page, as well as on a military spouse blog that I belong to. I will gladly send you a link as soon I can find it. The note prompted a very a detailed and enlightening discussion between the sexes about modern relationships, and if the phrase “Letting a man, be a man” is antiquated or if it was relevant. I was surprised by a lot of the mens responses to the notion of emasculating a man in a relationship.

Okay I found the links:
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=102790323170
(This is the main one, this is also where you can see a lot of the men’s commentary as well.)

http://www.militarysos.com/forum/showthread.php?t=339682

I think I covered everything as thoroughly as possible. As always, I look forward to your response, b/c I love to look at things from a perspective outside of my own tunnel vision. Lol. If you have any other questions please feel free to email me directly: m.nic.stephens@gmail.com

Also I made a grave grammatical error: The quote: ” The feminist movement is about cutting off a man’s testicles just to make me feel like a stronger woman.” should read instead as:

“The feminist movement is not about figuratively cutting off a man’s testicles just to make me feel like a stronger woman.”

Sorry for the error.

Hi Harriet! I actually saved the comment, so I’ll break down my response in a few pieces:

Thank you Harriet for your very detailed response. I’m going to try and answer all your questions and clarify a few things in the process.

“Once again, the point of view I’m coming from is strictly a biblical one. God HATES divorce. There are certain instances in the Bible and in modern day where it is necessary (children in jeopardy, abuse, adultery just to name a few), but overall, the institution of marriage was the FIRST one God created, even before He created the church. So although I’m glad there are laws in place to allow two consenting adults to do what they want to do, I still don’t agree with it from a BIBLICAL worldview.”

I am a christian woman as well, with her own crazy, convoluted past. I can see, from a biblical standpoint why you have your outlook. In my opinion, however, God doesn’t want us to be miserable and abused as well. I don’t think that a person should stay in a marriage if they are constantly being mistreated and disrespected either, or if they have tried every avenue that they could and nothing worked. Sometimes people need to go their own ways. Now, I have a question for you, you say that from your standpoint, which is strictly a biblical one, that you do not believe in Divorce, because God hates divorce. You touched on this briefly in your last paragraph, and you did admit in modern days it’s good that consenting adults can do what they want. When it comes to situations such as an abusive marriage, do you believe that the two couples should stay together then? The reason why I ask this ad nauseam is that your are looking from a strictly religious standpoint. It’s just that I see a flaw in not necessarily your thinking, but looking at marriage from a specific biblical standpoint. It seems too extreme, especially because marriages are often complex and grey, not necessarily black and white. I’m curious to see what you think of this.

inally, you said, “If I’m wrong, let me know, but in some ways, it seems as though you are implying that being a feminist is a bad thing.” I am feminine, but not a feminist. I agree with equal pay for equal work. I agree with a woman being safe from foolishness like sexual harrassment and discrimination based on gender. What I DON’T agree with in the feminist movement (radical feminism, that is) is the marginalization of men. I don’t agree that in order to get my way as a woman, I have to make a man feel like a little boy.

Every movement comes with an inherent responsibility towards BALANCE. There are many ways in which Fundamentalism in Christianity has done much more damage than good. It has caused many to approach situations like the one we see with Mr. McNair with contempt and condemnation rather than love and self-reflection. I have issues with that. I also have issues with a feminine movement that would–and please pardon my banter, but this is the best way I can think of to state it–require a woman to cut off a man’s testicles and wear them around her neck as a prized trophy. I have issues with trying to make a man feel less than a man just so I can feel like more of a woman (hear me roar).”

Okay finally getting to the last portion of your reply. Based upon your assessment of the feminist movement I would strongly suggest you educate yourself about the background of the movement, and speak to other modern feminists, before coming to such extreme, base conclusions. I think you hit a good point in your first paragraph, you said that your issue is mainly with Radical Feminism, but then you made a generalization later about the feminist movement as a whole. The feminist movement isn’t about cutting off a man’s testicles just to make me feel like a stronger woman. Crazy enough, I recently wrote an small essay about the feminist woman, and emasculation of men, and I posted it on my facebook page, as well as on a military spouse blog that I belong to. I will gladly send you a link as soon I can find it. The note prompted a very a detailed and enlightening discussion between the sexes about modern relationships, and if the phrase “Letting a man, be a man” is antiquated or if it was relevant. I was surprised by a lot of the mens responses to the notion of emasculating a man in a relationship

okay I found the links:
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=102790323170#comments
This is the original post, and where you can find the commentary from men as well.

http://www.militarysos.com/forum/showthread.php?t=339682

I hope I answered all of your questions thoroughly, and as always I await your reply. I reading other about other perspectives because it allows me to step out of my own admitted tunnel vision.

Here is one of your last quotes. This is one of the ones that got under my skin a little bit.

“If I’m wrong, let me know, but in some ways, it seems as though you are implying that being a feminist is a bad thing.” I am feminine, but not a feminist. I agree with equal pay for equal work. I agree with a woman being safe from foolishness like sexual harrassment and discrimination based on gender. What I DON’T agree with in the feminist movement (radical feminism, that is) is the marginalization of men. I don’t agree that in order to get my way as a woman, I have to make a man feel like a little boy.

Every movement comes with an inherent responsibility towards BALANCE. There are many ways in which Fundamentalism in Christianity has done much more damage than good. It has caused many to approach situations like the one we see with Mr. McNair with contempt and condemnation rather than love and self-reflection. I have issues with that. I also have issues with a feminine movement that would–and please pardon my banter, but this is the best way I can think of to state it–require a woman to cut off a man’s testicles and wear them around her neck as a prized trophy. I have issues with trying to make a man feel less than a man just so I can feel like more of a woman (hear me roar).”

Okay, so based upon your assessment of the feminist movement I would strongly suggest you educate yourself about the background of the movement, and speak to other modern feminists, before coming to such extreme, base conclusions. I think you hit a good point in your first paragraph, you said that your issue is mainly with Radical Feminism, but then you made a generalization later about the feminist movement as a whole. The feminist movement isn’t about figuratively cutting off a man’s testicles just to make me feel like a stronger woman. Crazy enough, I recently wrote an small essay about the feminist woman, and emasculation of men, and I posted it on my facebook page, as well as on a military spouse blog that I belong to. I will gladly send you a link as soon I can find it. The note prompted a very a detailed and enlightening discussion between the sexes about modern relationships, and if the phrase “Letting a man, be a man” is antiquated or if it was relevant. I was surprised by a lot of the mens responses to the notion of emasculating a man in a relationship.

OK, I’m glad I got the opportunity to read what your original commentary was, Mrs. S.

Let me set the record straight…I LOVE discussions like this, and I’m all for learning from others, so in no way was there an air of me being defensive. I’m not a genius by any stretch of the imagination, and much of what I’ve learned has not only been in the classroom, but through discussions like what we are having. Being defensive is counterproductive.

That said, my apologies for getting under your skin. That certainly is not my intention.

In a nutshell, you asked if abuse was a sufficient enough reason to get divorced. I believe I touched on it briefly, but since I didn’t make it clear, I am in no way supportive of a woman remaining with a man (or vice versa) who puts her life or the lives of her children (or vice versa) in jeopardy. Furthermore, let’s be real…what GOD put together, let no man tear asunder, right? I can’t honestly say that every marriage out there was created in heaven. Some people get married on whims and flights of fancy that don’t last very long, because its foundation was built upon shaky ground.

As far as our discourse on feminism is concerned, I think the radical feminism issue I spoke about should not have been a parenthetical statement. By the way, if you allow me to digress a moment, I really appreciate you calling me to task in brining my viewpoints much more clarity. After reading your responses, I can see where I could have stated things differently to make them more understandable. Your commentary has sharpened me in many ways. I appreciate you!

To be continued…

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