Comments on: To Be Single or Not To Be Single http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single Promoting Positive Images of Marriage and Parenting Since 2007 Sun, 12 Feb 2012 19:38:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Fran http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single/comment-page-1#comment-15969 Fran Thu, 23 Jul 2009 13:33:47 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=5268#comment-15969 To Monnie: If you want to remain single and childless, that is your choice. In life we have choices, and if in fact it is selfish, so what. I admit it's a couple's world, and folks can make a single person feel as though there is something wrong with them if they don't desire marriage and children, but what they fail to realize is that not everyone wants the same thing. Rest assured, there is nothing wrong with you. In a previous posting, the writer was nervous about getting married and I believe she said when she had to choose a gown, she was asked what had she dreamed about since she was a little girl. She said she hadn't thought about getting married when she was a girl or something to that effect. Most of us are socialized to believe that all little girls grow up dreaming of their wedding day. But that is not true. All I dreamed of growing up is going to medical school . . .LOL. Every woman doesn't want to be married. Some of us love being single. To Monnie:

If you want to remain single and childless, that is your choice. In life we have choices, and if in fact it is selfish, so what. I admit it’s a couple’s world, and folks can make a single person feel as though there is something wrong with them if they don’t desire marriage and children, but what they fail to realize is that not everyone wants the same thing. Rest assured, there is nothing wrong with you.

In a previous posting, the writer was nervous about getting married and I believe she said when she had to choose a gown, she was asked what had she dreamed about since she was a little girl. She said she hadn’t thought about getting married when she was a girl or something to that effect. Most of us are socialized to believe that all little girls grow up dreaming of their wedding day. But that is not true. All I dreamed of growing up is going to medical school . . .LOL. Every woman doesn’t want to be married. Some of us love being single.

]]> By: Daisy http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single/comment-page-1#comment-15662 Daisy Wed, 15 Jul 2009 01:55:41 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=5268#comment-15662 @Monnie we are on different ends of the specturm..lol I will be 33 in Aug and want to BOTH get married and have kids. I have been single so long I stopped counting. I live in Atlanta and the pickings are slim actually BEYOND slim...lol Thought I met somebody a few mths back but false alarm. I am starting to hear my clock tick but I am trying to remain cool and calm. I don't date much because there is nobody to date..lol I love traveling and being able to pick up and go but I am willing to hit the pause button for the right man. I agree w/ you though marriage and kids arent for everybody! Enjoy your singlness! @Monnie we are on different ends of the specturm..lol I will be 33 in Aug and want to BOTH get married and have kids. I have been single so long I stopped counting. I live in Atlanta and the pickings are slim actually BEYOND slim…lol Thought I met somebody a few mths back but false alarm. I am starting to hear my clock tick but I am trying to remain cool and calm. I don’t date much because there is nobody to date..lol I love traveling and being able to pick up and go but I am willing to hit the pause button for the right man.

I agree w/ you though marriage and kids arent for everybody! Enjoy your singlness!

]]> By: Monnie http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single/comment-page-1#comment-15656 Monnie Tue, 14 Jul 2009 21:40:54 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=5268#comment-15656 Very interesting post... I'm 33, never been married, never had children, nor do I think that I want either... Is that selfish? I honestly don't think it's for everyone and I've gotten so use to being alone all these years, I don't think I have room for marriage or children... I believe that being single is really excellent for some people for the reasons you've described, though some of it does sound kind of selfish, the way it's worded... I know it's not intentional, but it does make me think that I'm doing something wrong by not wanting to be married... I just wanted to say that the real key to enjoying the single life and not being held down by loneliness is to have very good friends around you, have someone you can talk to about things... Another thing is having something positive to do with your life... Like you said above... A hobby, something that takes up time so you're not focusing on being lonely... But it was a very good post... Thank you for you time... Very interesting post… I’m 33, never been married, never had children, nor do I think that I want either… Is that selfish? I honestly don’t think it’s for everyone and I’ve gotten so use to being alone all these years, I don’t think I have room for marriage or children… I believe that being single is really excellent for some people for the reasons you’ve described, though some of it does sound kind of selfish, the way it’s worded… I know it’s not intentional, but it does make me think that I’m doing something wrong by not wanting to be married…

I just wanted to say that the real key to enjoying the single life and not being held down by loneliness is to have very good friends around you, have someone you can talk to about things… Another thing is having something positive to do with your life… Like you said above… A hobby, something that takes up time so you’re not focusing on being lonely…

But it was a very good post… Thank you for you time…

]]> By: Anna http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single/comment-page-1#comment-15544 Anna Sun, 12 Jul 2009 06:48:42 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=5268#comment-15544 shontae said: I am sick of being single!!!!!!! I’m wondering am I doing something wrong here??? WHy is an ambitious Godly good looking man so hard to find???? ~~~~~~~ LOL. If you want us to disect, I mean discuss why you are single give us more info. Where are you looking, Is your biological clock ticking and you tell the man on the first date, are you looking for a man in a club/church or not looking but waiting altoghter? This is by all means not addressed to you necessarily but makes for a good post. I am sure your question is the same question many singles have. Just my fYI: I know many happily divorced ppl as a I do happily single never married ppl, and ppl who are married for the sake of the kids and the sake of the finances and don't even like each other. I re read my commet to edit(if it's not right it's ok). My first LOL was for this" WHy is an ambitious Godly good looking man so hard to find????. You still get another LOL from me. A man is not and will never be God but "biblely"(is that a word?)?. My husband is the King of our home as I am his Queen. When we are at odds with each other, he is my husband and I am his wife. LOL. I know what your were tryig to say and I am just having fun with you. If you can't have fun what fun is it. My sis got married Friday and she turned into "Bridezilla". My daughter is getting married next summer. Please all wish me your blessing that I have cooperated by then! Have you ever been so exhausted and you are not the bride? shontae said:
I am sick of being single!!!!!!! I’m wondering am I doing something wrong here??? WHy is an ambitious Godly good looking man so hard to find????
~~~~~~~
LOL. If you want us to disect, I mean discuss why you are single give us more info. Where are you looking, Is your biological clock ticking and you tell the man on the first date, are you looking for a man in a club/church or not looking but waiting altoghter? This is by all means not addressed to you necessarily but makes for a good post. I am sure your question is the same question many singles have. Just my fYI: I know many happily divorced ppl as a I do happily single never married ppl, and ppl who are married for the sake of the kids and the sake of the finances and don’t even like each other.

I re read my commet to edit(if it’s not right it’s ok). My first LOL was for this” WHy is an ambitious Godly good looking man so hard to find????.
You still get another LOL from me. A man is not and will never be God but “biblely”(is that a word?)?. My husband is the King of our home as I am his Queen. When we are at odds with each other, he is my husband and I am his wife. LOL. I know what your were tryig to say and I am just having fun with you. If you can’t have fun what fun is it. My sis got married Friday and she turned into “Bridezilla”. My daughter is getting married next summer. Please all wish me your blessing that I have cooperated by then! Have you ever been so exhausted and you are not the bride?

]]> By: shontae http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single/comment-page-1#comment-15536 shontae Sat, 11 Jul 2009 16:18:56 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=5268#comment-15536 I am sick of being single!!!!!!! I'm wondering am I doing something wrong here??? WHy is an ambitious Godly good looking man so hard to find???? I am sick of being single!!!!!!! I’m wondering am I doing something wrong here??? WHy is an ambitious Godly good looking man so hard to find????

]]> By: VEe! http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single/comment-page-1#comment-15487 VEe! Thu, 09 Jul 2009 20:20:51 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=5268#comment-15487 Cool questions, cool questions. <abbr><em>VEe!s last blog post..<a href="http://scritchandscratch.com/blog/?p=1850" rel="nofollow">The Brown Hornet is the Best Dressed Hero</a></abbr></em> Cool questions, cool questions.

VEe!s last blog post..The Brown Hornet is the Best Dressed Hero

]]> By: Felicia - I Complete Me http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single/comment-page-1#comment-15480 Felicia - I Complete Me Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:40:31 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=5268#comment-15480 This is a great post. I too reflect on being single from time to time, but as I mentioned in a post that I wrote, I enjoyed my single life to the fullest. Even though I reflect on it, I'm at a point where I don't want it back. I enjoy being a mom, step mom and wife. I wouldn't have it any other way. I think it's very important to really enjoy your time being single so you can really enjoy your time with your family. <abbr><em>Felicia - I Complete Mes last blog post..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ICompleteMe/~3/ATj7yXTghjE/" rel="nofollow">Wordless Wednesday</a></abbr></em> This is a great post. I too reflect on being single from time to time, but as I mentioned in a post that I wrote, I enjoyed my single life to the fullest. Even though I reflect on it, I’m at a point where I don’t want it back. I enjoy being a mom, step mom and wife. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think it’s very important to really enjoy your time being single so you can really enjoy your time with your family.

Felicia – I Complete Mes last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

]]> By: Anna http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single/comment-page-1#comment-15435 Anna Thu, 09 Jul 2009 04:38:48 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=5268#comment-15435 This was a great post. Being I did not marry for money but "spouses with benefits"..LOL, I can honestly say that for me marriage is a plus. I love to have someone to debate with, someone concernd about me and we(us). I would not choose to be single. For one I am too old to be in the dating singles game. I don't want my marriage to be so comfortable that I(we) just go through the motions. If I look across the fence and see a motorcycle, a pool and more big screen tvs than I have, so what. I know anyone can have that. Plus the motorcycle next door is not a Harley. lol. After getting married it's a take it or leave it, or just love it . But we choose to stick with it. Good bad, ugly, poor, fun. It is what it is. It's called" It's not all about you anymore. "I" does turn into "us". Kids, bills, jobs, and chores. For those going through a divorce, It is much harder when kids are in the picture but it is important that you share what good things you had with your spouse vs. putting the "other parent" down. The grass always looks more green when you look across and forget to water your own. I try to make sure I water mine. Material things don't mean a thing if you can't/don't appreciate them together. I do love a green lawn in my own yard, and hubby keeps it green for all of us. This was a great post. Being I did not marry for money but “spouses with benefits”..LOL, I can honestly say that for me marriage is a plus. I love to have someone to debate with, someone concernd about me and we(us). I would not choose to be single. For one I am too old to be in the dating singles game. I don’t want my marriage to be so comfortable that I(we) just go through the motions. If I look across the fence and see a motorcycle, a pool and more big screen tvs than I have, so what. I know anyone can have that. Plus the motorcycle next door is not a Harley. lol.
After getting married it’s a take it or leave it, or just love it . But we choose to stick with it. Good bad, ugly, poor, fun. It is what it is. It’s called” It’s not all about you anymore. “I” does turn into “us”. Kids, bills, jobs, and chores.
For those going through a divorce, It is much harder when kids are in the picture but it is important that you share what good things you had with your spouse vs. putting the “other parent” down. The grass always looks more green when you look across and forget to water your own. I try to make sure I water mine. Material things don’t mean a thing if you can’t/don’t appreciate them together. I do love a green lawn in my own yard, and hubby keeps it green for all of us.

]]> By: Tiya http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single/comment-page-1#comment-15431 Tiya Thu, 09 Jul 2009 03:40:30 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=5268#comment-15431 Great Article E! Great questions to ask of ourselves! <abbr><em>Tiyas last blog post..<a href="http://blackwivesclub.wordpress.com/2009/07/06/admit-it/" rel="nofollow">Admit It!</a></abbr></em> Great Article E! Great questions to ask of ourselves!

Tiyas last blog post..Admit It!

]]> By: Samuel Brown http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/07/08/to-be-single-or-not-to-be-single/comment-page-1#comment-15421 Samuel Brown Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:19:25 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=5268#comment-15421 Please read "An Attitude of Love" by Samuel L. Brown, MSW Visit:www.accreistrepublishing.com An Attitude of Love: On life and relationships Please read “An Attitude of Love” by Samuel L. Brown, MSW
Visit:www.accreistrepublishing.com
An Attitude of Love: On life and relationships

]]>