Comments on: Dear BMWK, Where Do You Draw The Line?

By: Christopher

Christopher — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 07:09:56 +0000

KiBlackboard V1.3.
Drawing tool for kids on Windows Mobile.
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By: Anna

Anna — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 00:16:14 +0000

Allygyrl702 said:
Anna, I think it is ridiculous that you think sex is a “reward” for your man for good behavior as if he is a child or a prisoner. He is neither. You or no other woman has any real control over a man and when you start playing games with sex men step outside the bedroom.
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A man thinks of sex about every six seconds. A mans psyche/wiring is so different. Do you think a man is going to give his wife/gf a gift beit just because or bday or go out of his way to do something adnormal even for him and thinks (unless they are waiting for marrige or celibate)”well I am doing this but I don’t expect to “get lucky tonight”. LOL. Do you know how many woman reward their husbands even though they have been stuck with sick kids all day but hubby doesn’t care and she does it out of obligation which in turn is really a chore for her. Reward/ Chore. I did not make up the rules, it is what it is. Everyone is not going to want the same thing at the same time, but the deed gets done because of the love you have for the other person.

By: Allygyrl702

Allygyrl702 — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 16:14:25 +0000

Anna, I think it is ridiculous that you think sex is a “reward” for your man for good behavior as if he is a child or a prisoner. He is neither. You or no other woman has any real control over a man and when you start playing games with sex men step outside the bedroom.

However I agree with RJ too. There are certain sentiments that you reserve for the person YOU KNOW you will spend the rest of your life with. With that being said, you should still be yourself. If you want to or derive pleasure from doing certain “wifely” duties then you should do it!

By: Danielle

Danielle — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:52:39 +0000

RJ I love your response....I have learned like some others have mentioned to guard my heart and that some gifts should be purely designed for marriage, not my boyfriend, long-time beau, or fiance'...my husband alone. Danielles last blog post..When they say you can’t

By: Ronnie

Ronnie — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 00:40:11 +0000

Well said RJ!! Ronnies last blog post..Today’s Inspiration 7/21/2009

By: Anna

Anna — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 00:17:31 +0000

I was in this club. If you do the wifey stuff while not married odds are you will never be the wife. “Don’t buy the cow if you can get the milk for free”. Now that I am married I don’t wash hubby’s clothes unless I am trying to make a full load of laundry and need to add his. I don’t iron his clothes nor take them to the cleaners. I use to do it when I only worked 20 hrs. a week. Now I work 40+ hrs.a week and he stepped to the plate to help out. If a man wants his wife to do a wifely duty at the end of the day he does not want to hear that she has a headache or is too tired because she came home did the laundry cooked dinner and cleaned up. Woman hold the cards when it comes to love making. I hate to say it but when a man helps around the house the love making is “our reward” for them. I don’t make the rules ppl. It’s just the way it is. LOL.

By: rj

rj — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 20:35:10 +0000

@King James

I do cook for my man, pay sometimes when we go out to dinner and make him feel needed, wanted appreciated and desired. I am kind, honest, faithful and committed to him 100%. Now if he feels that he can find someone else to do more than maybe I am not the one for him, but I do keep in perspective that I am not his wife! When he decides to put a ring on it than I will keep doing what I am doing and more. We can look at this two ways I could say the same thing I could get someone who his willing to do more for me also. I don’t expect husbandly duties of him when he is not my husband. The grass always looks greener on the other side but when you get there you realize it is not grass at all but weeds. The EXTRAS can make you lose a good person who really cares about you because you forgot the 80-20 rule. Things will stay how they are until I become the official Mrs.?.

By: King James

King James — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 17:27:06 +0000

Well… my cousin says that you need to do whatever you need to do to keep him. someone else is always willing to do it. And it’s not about him leaving a woman b/c she won’t do something.. but if he can get what you bring PLUS the extras.. why not take it? Just sound business…

There’s truth there lady.
Not saying it’s one-sided.. just talking about your stuff. Wash them clothes and feed him.

King Jamess last blog post..natural disaster

By: Lamar

Lamar — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 15:44:51 +0000

RJ that was on point

By: Harriet

Harriet — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 15:34:12 +0000

I'm the type of person that likes to pour out my affection through service on the one I love. Unfortunately, when I was single, no matter who I was with, that proved to be the wrong approach. It's easy to be taken advantage of like that, and eventually, what you do as an act of kindness (or what they call lagniappe in Louisiana) will become expected if you're not careful. For someone like me, I had to engage in what I call a "graduated response." Instead of pouring all my service out at once, I would slowly increase those acts of kindness to determine whether or not they were appreciated or not. It also helps to set boundaries for yourself (sex and paying bills were a no-no for me). All in all, these are just addendums to the wisdom RJ put in her comment. She made some AWESOME points! Harriets last blog post..Acorn to Oak Tree...I want to be a Legacy!