Desperate Housewives
Someone sent me a 1955 article from “Good Housekeeping” that blew my mind. Although many of the points outlined make sense, others would drive me to find an underground railroad to gain my freedom from imprisonment in my own home. A picture is worth a thousand words:
Let me take a few moments to outline the fact that rat poison is 97% corn and 3% strychnine. Although it tastes good to the rat, once that 3% of poison takes effect, there’s no turning back. The rat is dead within minutes. I wonder how many wives who ingested this article were able to survive emotionally and spiritually after reading it. I also wonder if I would have been able to live in an era where these points were common in practice and culture.
For example:
“Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.”
The first part, corn; the latter part, poison. What kind of blow is that to the self-esteem and confidence of a woman? Listening to my husband is of the utmost importance to me. I thrive off his communication with me. In fact, even deferring to him to let him talk first is a regular practice of mine. What I don’t agree with is quantifying the importance of the topics of conversations. My issues are no more or no less important than his. I care about what I talk about 100%, and I care about what he talks about 100%. It’s that simple for me.
How about:
“Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner, or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he may have gone through that day.”
This one is 97% poison! Now granted, back then there were no cell phones, but beyond that, I can’t think of any reason why a husband would so blatantly disregard the feelings of his wife, whether a career woman or housewife in this manner (and the same vice-versa…why a wife would do that to her husband is beyond me). This statement may as well say, “Turn your mind off. Don’t ask him about the lipstick on his collar. If you see lipstick around his smaller head, kindly get him a washcloth to wipe it off.” Lord, have mercy, Jesus!
This one took the cake:
“Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of his house, and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.”
In between great pointers on how to make him feel welcome and comfortable, you have this kind of foolishness. First of all…I QUESTION GOD ALL THE TIME, so you better believe I’m going to have some questions for my husband. Not that he finds himself in the interrogation seat with a bright light shining over him, but I have a voice and a say in our relationship. Yes, I defer to him as the head of the house, and when disagreements arise, I will speak my piece and state my case. But when all is said and done and my husband still doesn’t agree with me, I’ll remind him of his responsibility as the head to answer to God should anything go wrong. And then I’ll get in line and pray for the best. Trust is one thing, but seeing a cliff and not warning my husband that we’re about to fall off it is another thing all together. In the first couple of years of our relationship, I lost my identity and did just that. Thank God we survived! But not only do we have the right to question one another, but it is also our RESPONSIBILITY.
Finally:
“A good wife always knows her place.”
Exactly. That place is not under his feet for him to trample on. Nor is that place behind him for him to rain the excrement of his stresses and strains upon. The place I hold for my husband is right by his side. More accurately, that place is his rib cage, guarding his heart from stress. Making sure he understands that if no one else understands and supports him, his wife does. My place is to use the wisdom I’ve been given to ensure that same heart safely and readily trusts in me. My place is not subservient, but it makes the choice to serve because I love him, not because I have to do it.
So, BMWK…how many of you wives or single ladies out there would have survived this kind of culture? How many of you husbands or single men out there would have been bored to tears by the robotic “Stepford Wives” type of climate created back then? We want to hear from you!
God bless!
~ Harriet
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http://www.mrkingjames.blogspot.com King James
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MissJay
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rj
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http://harriet-canshesaythat.blogspot.com Harriet
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michele
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Anna
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http://www.theduckwalk.com The Duck Walk
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http://harriet-canshesaythat.blogspot.com Harriet
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