Destiny’s Child’s “Cater 2 U” is one of my favorite songs. Not that it’s particularly groundbreaking, or the vocal acrobatics are on any “Best of” lists, but I just plain like it. In just four minutes, the sexy trio summed up my whole outlook on any of my relationships. I’m a caterer, damn it, and I always, always do my best to take care of those I love.
But for some women, the thought of “catering” to someone makes them feel like a waiter. And they don’t like it, no matter how big the “tips” may be.
I read an article about actress Zoe Saldana (you know, from Drumline) in Latina magazine. She discussed bringing her boyfriend over to her grandma’s house and he asked her (Zoe) for some water. Instead of fulfilling his request, she told him where to find the kitchen and the glasses. Wow ““ really?
She said her grandma’s mouth dropped open, as she couldn’t believe Zoe couldn’t ““ no, WOULDN’T ““ fulfill her boyfriend’s request.
As simple as it may seem, her actions are seen as a “You go, girl!” move (Wow, I’m taking it back to the 90s with that phrase!). The author of the article makes it a point that Zoe doesn’t take mess from any man.
But what’s so wrong with getting the man a glass of water? As a guest? In your grandma’s house? Yes, he’s a grown man with arms that work and legs that move, but still.
What people don’t fail to realize is it’s those small gestures that keep a relationship strong. When you fix your man a plate, or open the door for your woman, it lets him or her know that yes, they still matter to you. When they rub your back without being asked, or bring you some water after “sexy time” (with two ice cubes just the way you like it), it means something.
When we think we’re too independent, too assertive, too confident to ever find ourselves “catering” to anyone, that’s when trouble brews. Men love to feel like they are the king, and ladies, you know we most definitely prefer it if our man treats us like a queen.
So do a little “catering” today. Pick up their favorite dessert on the way home. Instead of nagging about the dirty clothes on the floor, just put them in the hamper. Running home late from work? Fix them a plate and put it in the microwave. Warm up some baby oil and give them a post-dinner rubdown.
BMWK family ““ do you like to “cater” to your significant other? What’s one of those small things that you do that show them that you care?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
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