To Be Single or Not To Be Single
by Eric Payne
Sometimes I miss being single. When you’re single…
- you don’t have to answer to anyone.
- you don’t have to argue with anyone.
- you don’t have anyone to argue with you.
- you can sleep as late as you want.
- you don’t have to stay up to make sure no one is up past their bedtime.
- you don’t have to consider anyone other than yourself.
- you only have to clean up after yourself (if you clean up).
- you are the only one who suffers from your mistakes.
- you are the only one to blame when things go wrong.
- you don’t tire as easily.
- your spirit of adventure is self-perpetuating, or at least it should be.
- you have the time and opportunity to learn the full ins and outs of the person in the mirror.
- life is what you and you alone make it.
- you can save a lot of money, or you can spend a lot on yourself.
- going to church, working out, having hobbies, donating time and service to others, reading a good book, truly maintaining friendships are all things you can fully devote yourself to.
This list can continue on indefinitely depending on your point of view, but to sum it up, life as a married person is just different than that as a single one.
But should it be? If there’s anything to be learned from the recent and sudden death of Michael Jackson is that the dash — the little mark that sits between your start date and your end date — is what truly matters. And there is plenty to be done.
- As a parent, you love your children unconditionally, but do you love your fellow man?
- As a husband or wife, you pledge for better or worse, but when things get worse do you get better?
- When life has you beat down telling you, “You can’t,” do you fight back, or do you lie down and accept the fate someone else has put on you? Because barring sickness (and sometimes even then) it’s always someone else (PS – the insecure you is someone else, too).
- When you look in the mirror (beyond how fine you might think you are) is the face looking back at you yours? Do you even know who you’re looking at?
- When you go to bed at night do you sleep heavily because you’re exhausted from pouring your blood, sweat and tears into the day?
- When you’re not satisfied with your life do you sketch out a game plan for success or do you resort to complaining?
- When you just can’t do it anymore, do you fall down on your knees and ask God for His strength to flow through you?
These are a mere few things that add to the richness of a life and can take a lifetime to achieve. And like the first list, it can go on indefinitely.
I know the grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s just different. As a single person, there’s definitely more time to mow the lawn over there than over here in the married with kids lane, but we all have lawns. Tending to your lawn might take a little longer, require some real creativity, and be more challenging than anticipated, but you can make it as healthy, green and lush as you’d like. If it ends up a field of rocks and weeds, that’s on you.
Check Eric out at MakesMeWannaHoller.com where he tackles family and fatherhood one day at a time. He is also the author of I See Through Eyes, a book of poetry and short stories.
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