I wanted to write you back and tell you I appreciate what you said and that I have already decided to follow my heart. It’s best for me and others. I have since met other guys wanting to take me out on dates and I just can’t do it for me or to that man, it’s not fair. My mind would be on Libra.

I’ve read all the comments and have taken heed to each and everyone. I learned a long time ago to do what my heart feels. I got lost for a minute absorbing what everyone was saying and had to take a step back in the matter and do what I feel is right for me. It’s been 5 weeks. Some days are better than others. Some days I am mad as hell some days I’m okay and can deal with it. Too many times I have listened to others and did what they said and not what my heart told me to do and it backfired on me. Not just in relationships either. Each day I feel more distance from him and for me, when that happens it’s hard to get it back.

If anything I am more pissed off at the fact that I believe wholeheartedly that my BFF knows more than she is letting on and it’s messed up that she is watching me hurt like hell and go thru this and won’t tell me the truth. Her truth of the matter could give me closure as well and I am beginning to doubt our friendship. Yes, her loyalty maybe to her brother but she has told me things before that he told her NOT to tell me and he didn’t get mad at her. Now with this situation and me breaking down to her, she should tell me what I NEED to know to move on. (I would for her ) It’s hard being around her when I want to talk about the situation she finds away to avoid it EVERY TIME, to me that’s guilt.

Since I am 45 and have been divorced for quite a while, I’ve dated a lot. Trust me, it may be six days or six years but you will hear from him again. It has happened to me numerous times where they call or just show up on my doorstep. Depending on the deepness of your relationship you may try again, you may not. But believe me, you will be the one in control not him this time!!!!!!!!

Let me give you some advice. I can only tell you this because I am experiencing something similar to your but much longer term (talking 17 years of history). They always come back. Its how you handle it when they do. Sometimes it may take years but they always come back. It may take your heart some time and it may never heal until you have that chance to put finality to it but it does get better. I know you want advice so let me give you some. Don’t listen to everyone else’s opinion. Do what’s in your heart as you are the only one who will reap the benefits for feel the pain behind it. Sometimes men make mistakes that they cannot recover from and you will be the one to define it when he does return. When they leave without saying goodbye, they want to leave the door open for an eventual return. Sometimes by then we are over them and sometimes not. I am still hurting from someone leaving 3 years ago. Sure, I’ve had many romances since then but it just is not the same. You can’t open another door until this one closes. But you can be assured, he will be back. You may not like his reason for leaving but you’ll deal with it at the time and make your decision from that. None of us can tell you what that is. It may be good or it may not be acceptable but at least you’ll have it and be able to get over it if it is not. It’s easier when you know than the unknown. If you feel this man really loves you, then he most likely does. He may have gotten involved in something that you cannot control and he is not yet ready to explain or end but when a man leaves like that they always come back. If for nothing else for punishment so that they can relieve themselves of the guilt. It will be impossible for him to be happy at your expense so you can be guaranteed whatever it is it is not going to work out. Just wait awhile, and if you feel like trying to contact him for an explanation, do so. But he’ll be back. They always do and maybe you will see him in another light by then. It may take months or years but you can be guaranteed he will be back.

P.S. We only have two more days of prayer and fasting (not including tonight). We’ve been at it since Aug. 1st and it has truly made a difference in my life-it can make a difference in yours too. :~)

As much as I have endured I really don’t believe that God wants his child to continue to hurt the way and do and let it affect or NOT affect my children. My oldest is 15 and grew up with out her father and her pain is shown everyday. My son is 12 and leading down that same road. Is it fair to them. I don’t think so. What about the 2 youngest? As it states, ask and ye will receive. Not solely just for me, for them to. This is the first time that I realized what my hearts desire is and know what I want and have asked God to give it to me. So when I stopped looking, and continued that same prayer and Libra fell out of no where, to me that was a blessing come due. But maybe because I didn’t appreciate what I received (Libra) and was selfish when he had to make a major move this is my test. IDK. Time reveals all.

I hear what your saying however, in order to get the only blessing I want in my life are you saying I need to be able to quote scriptures and all that? I don’t even have allot of time to read the bible, I still sin, etc. So because of that I won’t be blessed with a husband. That is what I am getting. Because in all actuality I have never had a good God fearing man in my life. I am struggling and its an emotional internal breakdown which is the worst because your circle of ppl don’t see that, but I am still standing, meaning fronting, that I am not crushed that I have struggled since I was 18. Patients. It’s gone. I look around and see the hooker, the drug user all get swept off their feet and be blessed with a man. I have taken care of home, kids, always held a job, etc since my first kid. Asked to be taught the way to walk in Christ and I still can’t figure it out.