Watch Your Mouth!

Parenting

by Lamar Tyler | on August 12th, 2009 | 3 comments

mouth

by Eric Payne

My parents have a great poem posted on the wall in their kitchen.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Excerpted from the book Children Learn What They Live

©1998 by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris

The poem “Children Learn What They Live”

As a father and husband this poem has come to mean much more to me than it did when I was under my parents’ roof.

In your home do you come down on your kids for being negative, but complain loudly about your job, your commute home and/or politics?

Do you insist that your child(ren) respect others, but in your own walk do you crack jokes at others’ expense?

If you have more than one child, do you insist that they get along, but are you able to agree to disagree with your wife?

Are you so wrapped up in how messed up the world is, especially in this new economy, that you can’t appreciate all the good under your own roof?

Does fear pass from your lips more than you realize? Is it on your lips when you speak about spending, taking vacations or doing anything that might require stretching beyond your comfort zone?

Do you want what your friend/neighbor/cousin/sister/brother has? Do you unconsciously ask why them or why not me?

Only you know the answers to these questions. However, if there is one certainty in all of this, your kids are listening to what you have to say and taking it all to heart, especially when you don’t realize they’re listening. Be careful! Make sure the words of your mouth and the actions of your heart are positive ones — for their sakes and the sakes of their children and beyond.

Check Eric out at MakesMeWannaHoller.com where he tackles marriage and fatherhood one day at a time.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://harriet-canshesaythat.blogspot.com Harriet

LOL @ E. Payne. You never, EVER let me down! I LOVE that poem, and I’m going to have to ensure I post that to my own refrigerator. I think it’s important to raise your children by carrying the same demeanor at home as you would anywhere else. For the most part, I’m the same at home as I am everywhere else, except I’m more open and transparent at home than anywhere else.

I just think that honesty in our dealings (in both word and deed) is the best example to set for our children.

Thanks again, E. Payne!
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com Ronnie

Thanks for this post E. Payne. This is an area that I am always working to improve on!!!
Anna

That is a excellent poem. I am going to print it out and put it on my fridge, next to the coloring art my godson and the little white girl across the street gave me.
I have a article on my fridge from several years ago by a man named Peter Keen from Michigan. It’s called “Making Time For Mom. I think it was for Mothers Day.

As we drove by my mother’s house, she was out there in the yard so we waved and blew the horn. We were just very busy and couldn’t take the time to stop to see her. Besides we could always see her in church or another time when it was more convienent. We had a lot to do, that just couldn’t wait. You know how it is these day, hurry, hurry, hurry.
Just two days later, mom passed away from a heart attack. That was 10 years ago and I’m still not sure what I was in such a hurry for! And I deeply regret not stopping that day to hug her and say I Love You, Mom!
Did I guilt my kids through this mans pain or did I only plant a seed for them to appreciate what they have and slow down alittle?

Watch Your Mouth!

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