I Trust You

Relationships

by Lamar Tyler | on August 20th, 2009 | 7 comments

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In a marriage, it’s very difficult to predict how your spouse will change over the years, if the bond you two now share will get stronger or grow old and withered. The man/woman you fell in love with today might not be the same person 10 years down the road.

Knowing that things could change and sometimes they do, how do you trust that person today and tomorrow? Even if you know that person is fully committed to you today, can you be sure about the future? How do you know that they will always behave in a matter which respects you and the relationship?

Do you trust your partner 100%? Why or why not?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://www.brothatech.wordpress.com Brotha Tech

It was mentioned in the post, but I think it needs to me drilled home a little harder;

I RESPECT my wife, and she respect me, so as a result, I trust her 100 percent.

I think a great deal of couples don’t and/or can’t respect their partners. A relationship without respect, NEVER lasts. Trust on it’s own is a situational emotion (I hate to say it, but LOVE is too). What I mean is trust can be gained or lost depending on the situation or circumstances at hand. But once respect is gained (or lost), it lasts. If you truly respect your partner, you can trust that they will represent you in the best light AT ALL TIMES – today, tomorrow, always.
http://harriet-canshesaythat.blogspot.com Harriet

Brotha Tech, I was just talking to someone about this interesting dynamic between men and women today!

LOVE to a woman is RESPECT to a man (generally speaking). For example, if I don’t feel loved in my relationship, it’s hard for me to function. That’s the root of any disagreement my husband and I will have. The converse is true for him when it comes to respect. The root of every disagreement we’ve had regarding my treatment of him has been respect.

There is an inherent trust we have for one another, though. We both have always been loyal people, and so I never have to worry about my husband lying to me, and the same vice versa. That makes me trust him to the nth degree because even to a fault, he’s so honest. Sneaky just doesn’t fit his MO, nor does it fit mine.

We will have been married 5 years in a couple of months, and so far, we have only grown closer together through all the trials we’ve endured. It’s a pretty amazing thing, and I’m so grateful for it.
http://nosinglemamadrama.wordpress.com/ Ms. No Single Mama Drama

I trust my partner completely!

When we first entered into the relationship, we established firm bounderies for our relationship now and when we get married. This included everything from how we handle opposite-sex friendships, to how we manage money, to how we communicate about our vulnerabilities, etc.

Additionally, I know that I can trust him becuase he has been consistent throughout our relatinship–and he always puts me first, so it makes it easy for me to not only do the same but to trust that in whatever he does, he has my best interest at heart. This is the first time in my life where I have been able to trust in all areas of the relationship: mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially and spiritually.

Most importantly, however, I know that I can trust my partner becuase I firmly believe that God put this together. If I firmly believe that, and I know that my partner is submitted to the Lord, then it makes it easier to not only submit to his authority and leadership, but to trust him completely.

It is a beautifuly thing.
Ms. No Single Mama Drama
http://www.brothatech.wordpress.com Brotha Tech

@Harriet

Touche’…I can see how men value respect on the same level that women value love (I guess my personal opinion showed too much in my post)

I guess to keep me out of trouble, I would rather respect someone before I can trust or love them. That to me takes all of the emotion out of the situation. I can get “caught up” and fall in love with somebody for a multitude of reasons, but for that love (or trust) to remain, there has to be something more substantial…that’s why you “never trust a big butt and a smile” (I am showing my age)

I kid but, seriously, I know tons of people who let their emotions get in the way of logical, rational, intuition. I just think being able to respect someone keeps all those emotions (which aren’t all bad) in check.
Mom of 3

@Brotha Tech–off subject—now you are going to have me singing “that girl is Poison” all day long!
CartersMom

I trust my husband 100%, we are partners in life and his love for me is everlasting. My husband makes me feel a more secure and confident in my goals and achievement and I know this because of his support, love and respect that he has for me. I have to trust him 100% because he is my husband and I have learnt to be be positive than negative and leave everything in GOD’s hand, I believe in a marriage you have love hard and trust strongly, just my opinion
Robert M

the issue of trust is time sensitive. When you are all loveydovey it is about keeping away from straying. When children come into the picture trust is about finances(for the benefit of the family), protecting your children and keeping them on the straight and narrow.
When you become comfortable w/ the children trust becomes about carrying out the rest of your responsbilities. Those are to each other as husband and wife.
That is were there is the most difficultyregarding trust because being human we do the easy thing instead of taking the additional second to find out what is really bothering someone. That taking for granted feels like betrayal. Betrayal imaginary or real destroys trust.

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