Do You Talk To Your Kids About Love and Marriage?
Do you realize you are raising someone’s future spouse? I know I do.
In my group of female friends, whenever someone’s boyfriend is acting up or somehow not behaving like a man (boyfriend) should, someone inevitably says, “Well, he doesn’t know any better. He didn’t have much of an example growing up….” It always goes back to, well, he wasn’t taught to be a good boyfriend/husband – so how could he be?
I don’t want my future daughter-in-law looking at me crooked because my husband and I failed somewhere along the way in teaching the boy how to treat a woman. I don’t want my future son-in-law mean mugging me because my daughter doesn’t know how a wife should act.
True, there’s nothing that prepares you for marriage like actually being married. But if we could all do our part to not only set the example of what a good spouse/parent does, but also TELL our kids what a good spouse or parent is supposed to do. I want my children to know that Daddy and I stick to our strengths, complementing the other when necessary. I want them to know that our marriage works, not by accident, but by hard work. We don’t always know what the other one expects, but we ask questions and we figure it out. They obviously can glean most of that from just living in our house, but I want to have those conversations with them.
I want them to know that marriage is not always 50-50 and sometimes you give more than you get.
I want them to know that the best marriages happen because both people want it to work.
I want them to know that even when they feel they are right, they need to step back and look at the issue from their spouse’s side.
I want my future son- or daughter-in-law to come up to me in about 25 years, give me a big hug and say, “Thank you.”
BMWK family, what about you? Do you realize you’re raising someone’s spouse? Do you talk to your kids about love and marriage?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
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